Separate for Christmas?

Christmas arrangements are so complicated if there is distance involved. My DS and DIL live in the North of England, DD in Scotland and I'm just outside London. My ex is in Hampshire and DIL's parents in Suffolk and wider family in Kent. Somehow we've managed for everyone to see their respective parents and I was lucky enough to spend Christmas day with DS, DD and DIL. However I'm aware I may not be so lucky next year. The important thing is spending time together when you can and a bit of give and take all round. I still remember my first boxing day alone when DS and DD went to their dad and grandma's. Fortunately kind friends invited me round as they knew I'd be on my own. Now that first year is long gone and I appreciate a bit of time to myself as well as seeing my family.

Does it matter what other people do? Just do what you think is best for all concerned.

My husband and I have never spent Christmas day together in the 25 years we've been together. We have ten children and fourteen grandchildren between us and didn't live together until we married a few years ago so the two families have never seen each other as siblings. Last year some of my children decided they would have Christmas dinner in their own homes, but some wanted to have breakfast and present opening with me as usual so I returned to my old home that the younger ones now share and then travelled later in the day with them and joined my husband and his family for dinner which I cooked, in his home that I now share. It was okay but didn't feel quite right and I wasn't really very comfortable, though I think my husband was pleased I was there. However, this Christmas everything was back to normal and we spent the day with our respective families. He drops me to mine late on Christmas eve and picks me up late Christmas night. We don't bother doing 'our own' Christmas as we have had enough of it by then. I think it will always be like that, the families won't really mix well and the numbers prohibit one gathering plus I'd prefer to be with my children than his in all honesty. We look on it as just a day we do for the families. Secretly I'd love to be a million miles away from it all and not bother with Christmas but I'd hate to disappoint my kids!