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(76 Posts)
sunseeker Thu 13-Dec-18 10:45:58

I have a neighbour who every year sends a group email saying she is not sending Christmas cards but donating to charity instead - fair enough. I bumped into her yesterday and the conversation went:

Neighbour: Oh I thought you must have gone away for Christmas

Me: Why would you think that?

N: Well, I haven't had a Christmas card from you yet this year - I do like to get Christmas cards it makes the house look so cheerful

Me: Yes, me too

merlotgran Thu 13-Dec-18 11:17:08

Ha Ha, sunseeker. I've crossed two people off my Christmas card list this year for the same reason.

When I received the message (on facebook) last year that a relative would be donating to charity instead of sending cards in future, I was terribly tempted to comment, 'Prove It!'

Is it a genuine gesture, virtual signalling or just a cop out?tchhmm

Karanlouise Thu 13-Dec-18 11:18:24

The audacity of some people but it did make me chuckle.

sunseeker Thu 13-Dec-18 11:35:53

I think the "round robin" email is something of a cop-out. Most charity shops sell their own cards (it's where I buy mine) so you can support charity and still give cards.

Lynne59 Thu 13-Dec-18 12:58:14

The cheeky mare....tell her you're not sending any this year, or that you're not sending any to people who don't send them. We had a neighbour like that. Miserable old git, he didn't ever send us a card in the 18 years he was there.

lemongrove Thu 13-Dec-18 13:33:45

Haha, it is funny sunseeker but....I wonder if the onset of dementia is the cause of this conversation.
My neighbour has said a few baffling things recently, we get on really well, but I can’t really ask any questions, she would be upset.Just a thought.

Witzend Thu 13-Dec-18 13:45:08

Two retired couples we know very well have said for the past couple of years that they're not doing cards -they're donating to charity instead.

Fair enough, except that I suspect that the real reason is that they just can't be bothered. It's definitely not a question of cost - both couples are well off, second homes plus multiple holidays each year, etc.

If people just can't be bothered I certainly wouldn't blame them for saying so - whether they're donating to charity instead or not.

merlotgran Thu 13-Dec-18 13:52:01

I wonder what their donation actually amounts to?

A box of cards and the cost of postage is not that much compared to most Christmas expenditure. I suspect that they CBA.

Many people send Christmas cards and make charity donations but don't make a big deal of it.

sunseeker Thu 13-Dec-18 15:52:26

No dementia lemongrove - she is in her late 30s and holds down a very well paid job. As merlotgran says I think it is a case of CBA

cornergran Thu 13-Dec-18 15:57:32

Nowt so queer as folks sunseeker. grin. I hope she doesn’t need logic for her work.

KatyK Thu 13-Dec-18 16:00:54

I always used to send my sister in law a birthday card - every year for years. She never ever sent me or my DH one. I got fed up with this and stopped. My brother, her husband, rang me up and wanted to know why I had stopped and that she was upset. The cheek!

yggdrasil Thu 13-Dec-18 16:04:40

I send cards to people I haven't seen for ages, just to remind them I am still alive :-)

I don't give cards to the people in my U3A, and make it clear I'm not. One or 2 still want to give me one, but that's ok, I don't need to reciprocate
Since I run our U3A website, I have put a banner at the top wishing everyone a good Christmas and New Year!

Melanieeastanglia Thu 13-Dec-18 16:10:04

I think your neighbour's remark was odd but I think many people who say they give to charity rather than send cards are perfectly genuine.

mcem Thu 13-Dec-18 16:58:04

If recipients need proof that you have made a charity donations then check Mary 's Meals website. £10 means a child will receive a nourishing meal at school for a full year.
The donation is acknowledged as it appears as a plate, named for the recipient.
I've done this for my sister's family for a few years and sent a screenshot of the plate on the virtual Christmas table.
Ps all donations are currently being doubled.

mcem Thu 13-Dec-18 17:04:08

Mary's Meals

Chewbacca Thu 13-Dec-18 17:54:31

Not sent Christmas cards for years now. And I'd really prefer it if people didn't send them to me. It's such a waste of time, money and resources and I'd rather support our local hospice instead.

Daddima Thu 13-Dec-18 17:58:52

I got a marvellous Facebook message from a friend to say she was not sending cards, instead, she was spending the money on gin.

My kind of woman.

BlueBelle Thu 13-Dec-18 17:59:04

What’s CBA ?
Christmas cards are the best part of Christmas for me I make about 50
I think it’s a total cop out you can give to charity any time of the year

rockgran Thu 13-Dec-18 18:39:53

It isn't the cost of the cards I object to - it's the cost of the postage.

Chewbacca Thu 13-Dec-18 18:47:46

CBA is "Can't be arsed" BlueBelle. -- and I admit that this is another reason I don't send them--

Menopaws Thu 13-Dec-18 18:58:11

I don't do Christmas cards and genuinely send £50 to Durrell instead then send letters or ring people I want to connect with in the new year.

Bathsheba Thu 13-Dec-18 19:38:30

I've always felt that people who say they are giving to charity instead of sending cards have got their ideas a bit 'arse about face' as my FiL used to say. It's not they who are going without, but their would be card recipients!
Surely a more appropriate gesture would be to ask people not to send them a card but donate the cost of card + postage to a charity of their choice. Then they would be the ones going without. In my experience, most people giving to charity instead of sending cards still expect and enjoy receiving cards hmm
Or alternatively, they should cut down on one festive treat - go without the bottle of Baileys for instance, and pass the cost onto a charity. But oh no, they don't want to make the sacrifice, do they? They just want us to go without their cards angry

Chewbacca Thu 13-Dec-18 19:47:09

To be fair Bathsheba, I neither want to send them or receive them, and I still give to the hospice. I can't be doing with the damned things, personally and would prefer it if this was one Ye Olde Christmas custom that just stopped. But each to their own....

oldbatty Thu 13-Dec-18 19:54:17

Mary's meals, what a great thing. I can't believe people in this day and age get excited about a silly bit of cardboard with a fake message on it.

Bathsheba Thu 13-Dec-18 20:07:25

Chewbacca that is fair enough. Do you know, I think what I dislike about the whole 'giving to charity instead of sending cards' thing is the talking about it. Just give to charity and say nothing. And send cards too, or just tell people you're not sending cards any more and you're not expecting to receive any. No need to have the "I'm giving to charity" malarkey at all!