Gransnet forums

Christmas

What!!!!

(77 Posts)
sunseeker Thu 13-Dec-18 10:45:58

I have a neighbour who every year sends a group email saying she is not sending Christmas cards but donating to charity instead - fair enough. I bumped into her yesterday and the conversation went:

Neighbour: Oh I thought you must have gone away for Christmas

Me: Why would you think that?

N: Well, I haven't had a Christmas card from you yet this year - I do like to get Christmas cards it makes the house look so cheerful

Me: Yes, me too

mcem Tue 18-Dec-18 22:13:47

Just lost my post supporting mary and paddy re Mary's Meals. The charities commission website officially confirms all they've said. Until March all donations are being doubled with funds from the overseas aid budget. My DS's best friend does an excellent job with them and I trust him implicitly.
Volunteers here and abroad provide meals and education at minimal cost but pay small wages to the school cooks. Google them to find out more.

Daddima Tue 18-Dec-18 16:20:49

My mother was seriously ill and subsequently died around Christmas, so sending cards was the last thing on my mind.
The number of cards I received dropped dramatically!

oldbatty Mon 17-Dec-18 08:16:25

Wow,Mary that gives me hope in a dark world.

Eloethan Sun 16-Dec-18 23:43:14

I understand the sentiment behind not sending cards and instead donating the money to charity. And I can understand why it is necessary to tell people, because otherwise they might wonder why they no longer receive a card.

Of course, it could be people just showing off but on the other hand they might genuinely prefer to do something more useful with the money. However, I think it's a bit cheeky to express disappointment at not receiving a card if you don't send any yourself.

Personally, I enjoy sending and receiving cards. Money can be donated to charity at any time and economies made elsewhere.

Marydoll Sun 16-Dec-18 19:41:29

LuckyFour, I totally agree with Paddyann's post. Only 4% of donations to Mary's meals are spent on admin costs.
It originally started by feeding 200 children in Malawi and has grown to feeding a million children a day. Not only are the children fed, they are educated and given the opportunities to make a better life.
My friend's husband has been to the shed a number of times and I can assure you it is a genuine charity, which does not line the pockets of its founders.
I have spoken to a number of volunteers who fund raise and give up their time and weekends to raise money across Scotland.
It is an amazing charity.

MissAdventure Sun 16-Dec-18 18:35:33

My mum was very keen on sending cards.
As she grew less able, I would be sent to buy "to people we used to be neighbours with 36 years ago"
"For a lovely couple"
"To friends we don't forget"
"From my house to yours" and so on...

AuldFatGit Sun 16-Dec-18 16:23:08

“ Humbug anyone?"

LadyGracie Sat 15-Dec-18 17:10:34

I’ve only sent 9 cards this year to close friends and family scattered about. I’ll donate what I’ve saved to the Salvation Army and a donkey charity.

Helmsley444 Sat 15-Dec-18 14:28:27

I lived next door to a neighbour who i sent a christmas card to every year for 37 years.
Him nor his wife ever sent me one back .Nor did we ever disscuss why.
We were perfectly amiable neighbours, and helped them out many a time .
No postage involved as we lived next door .
They sold up this year and are gone , without a word of farewell.
People hey
Give me dogs anytime

Fflaurie Sat 15-Dec-18 10:04:21

I always put out a happy Christmas message to everyone and remind everyone that we donate to charity instead of sending cards. I worked out it costs £50 at least to buy, write and post cards. I give that (and more) to two charities every christmas, one animal charity and one human. They won't put my donation in the recycling bin in January.

justwokeup Sat 15-Dec-18 03:05:31

I like that grumppa. Many years ago when I was working in a large corporation there was a flurry of 'I'm-donating-to-charity-rather-than-sending-cards e-mails'. It was quite a new thing then and many of the messages were very self-righteous (and very long), giving the charity and the reason why. Not sure whether colleagues doubted the motives but, before long, they were followed by many 'I-will-be sending-cards-as-usual' e-mails. Soon after all they were completely silenced by a single 'I will be donating to charity and sending cards. One does not preclude the other.' When I get a bit weighed down by saving the planet, postage and preparation, I remember that message every year and it makes me smile. tchsmile

gmelon Sat 15-Dec-18 02:23:47

Sending e-cards is free.
So a charity donation and sending cards can be achieved.

Harrydog50 Sat 15-Dec-18 01:52:49

She said she wasn't sending cards and donating to charity doesn't mean she can't receive them

kwest Fri 14-Dec-18 21:27:58

I am not bothered about receiving Christmas cards but I am very aware that people who are older than me (I'm 70) and either living alone or in old people's homes tend to measure their worth via the number of cards they receive. I would not want to hurt someone by making them feel that they did not matter.

Thinkineedcakenow Fri 14-Dec-18 20:55:17

We haven't done cards for a number of years (before that always charity's cards bought direct from them). As a family we decided that we would donate to Crisis's Reserve a Place for Christmas for a Homeless Person for 2 people to benefit from this. We DO give the money and obviously it needs to be donated at Christmas so is a Christmas gesture. I sent a link with my email 1st year we donated in the event anyone else wanted to donate/was interested but havent since as I don't want to make a thing of it. I don't mind getting no cards personally, tbh I find them wasteful and an email is fine for me. TBH most of my family/friends know I'd rather they put a bit of money in charity box than send me cards for Xmas/birthday etc. I understand that people do like to receive them and the love, friendship, sentiment and effort etc behind them, Granny always gets them from us!! Its just what we do and I put a lot of thought into the emails I send. tchsmile

Cabbie21 Fri 14-Dec-18 18:43:40

I send quite a few cards to people who don’t live nearby and won’t be seeing. They include friends from the past, school, university, last job, former neighbours etc, as well as geographically distant relatives. It is a way of keeping in touch. Each year more and more are emailed messages and some get a letter too.
What I think is weird is giving to local people. How do you decide which members of your choir/ tennis club/ U3A group to give a card to? I sit there feeling ‘ so I am not considered your friend then?’ when people are giving them out to some and not others.

FingerLaker Fri 14-Dec-18 18:02:17

My husband died three years ago in November; my grandaughter died two years ago in December. I dont have much spirit but I press on for my other grands. I dont send cards, but I do send Valentines in February. People have said how cheered and surprised they are by the unexpected cards.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 14-Dec-18 17:30:05

I only send to people we receive Christmas cards from - if mine go out first, then I probably do send to one or two who don't reply, but then I usually cross them off my card list.

I know all charities sell cards, but I was taught at Sunday school not to be like the publican who thanked God that he was not as other men are, and that giving to charity should be done in secret, so I would never buy cards that advertised for a charity, and like many others I dislike being told that so-and-so has given to this, that or the other charity.

oldbatty Fri 14-Dec-18 17:15:50

It is a wonderfully simple and effective idea.

paddyann Fri 14-Dec-18 17:00:16

Mary's Meals feeds over one million children a day .

paddyann Fri 14-Dec-18 16:58:14

Over 93% of all donations go straight to the children,its a porridge type meal they have and they only get it when they go to school ...so it does two things at once.Children get fed and they get educated.Mary's Meals feeds over 1 million chidren EVERY day .Parents are roped in to make the food ,giving them emplyment and often other parents make uniforms.
Its a wonderful charity whose head office is a shed in Argyll.We had the founder Magnus to speak at Rotary and he is an inspiration

blue60 Fri 14-Dec-18 16:52:10

I always send Christmas cards, and enjoy receiving them especially from friends who include a mini letter.

To me and others I know, it's not a waste of time because it's a good way to keep communications open. Some friends don't use the internet at all.

I make my own cards for those who mean a lot to me, and I enjoy writing out a message with few extra words or include a letter. Good old pen & ink I say!

LuckyFour Fri 14-Dec-18 16:44:15

mcem, It seems impossible that a child can receive a hot meal every day for a year just by someone sending a donation of £10. How many people sending £10 are needed to make this actually happen. How many children are they actually feeding.

I am very sceptical about charities particularly when we hear how much the Chief Execs are paid. Sorry to be a bit sour, I love Christmas and would give any child a hot meal any time.

CarlyD7 Fri 14-Dec-18 16:19:13

Yes, it reminds me of a conversation I had with a woman at church 2 years ago. She was telling me how she loves getting Christmas cards, so I said: "have you sent yours out yet?" "Oh no, I don't send cards out. I never have. I think they're a waste of money". I mean - what a cheek (and she came straight off MY Christmas card list!)

BRedhead59 Fri 14-Dec-18 16:07:02

I tried to give up sending cards a few years ago and my friends and family moaned so I started again and now some of them are telling me they are giving up. The cost is ridiculous I sent a parcel abroad, bought some sticky tape and 40- second class stamps - £70 I nearly fainted.