Fed up of doing it all

2 a day! My DH can eat 2 in as many minutes.?

Any shop bought mince pies are fine if slightly warmed in the oven first.
Visitors won’t notice.

There wouldn't be Christmas in the house if I didn't get excited about it. OH used to just stick a pre-lit Christmas tree in his window when his children left home and he lived alone. Cards n the mantelpiece and that was it.

Now he is very good and doesn't mind me chivvying him along. He gets all the decorations down, assembles the tree, brings in the little potted one we have in the garden and generally leaves me to it, which is OK because I have always been a bit OCD and OTT regarding decorating the house at Christmas.

He'll go food shopping and bring back the right things without a list and use his initiative to buy extra goodies too. He also sorts out the bottles of Prosecco, gin, beers etc...and all the mixers. He'll peel veg and most of all, he gets the hoover out and does the whole house while I am busy in the kitchen on Christmas eve. I tend to wrap presents but he can do that. He doesn't buy the wrapping paper, tags or sellotape - he must imagine fairies bring them, but he does write and post all the Christmas cards to his side of the family. He also decorates the outside of the house too with lights etc.

He says I am like a child in a sweet store if we see Christmas displays and baubles and trinkets for sale in the shops..he has never known anything like it. Poor man. His family tend to be, as I put it, drains, not fountains. They are a fairly staid lot, and they are all missing the jolly gene.

I am training him up. He likes full on "proper" Christmases now, which he's experienced for the last 17 years with me. We work well together and I know I am lucky because he is fairly domesticated, thankfully. (I have trained my sons to get cracking at Christmas too.)

My sympathy to those gransnetters who have to organise everything and carry the load too. It is a very busy time of year, December a month like no other.

By heck Day6...I stand in admiration of your training
Most men can ( with a little bribery and chivvying) be brought up to standard with some rigorous training.
It just needs a strong woman to apply the rules and stick to them.
I find the promise of a treat for good behavior works wonders, a warm mince pie, a glass of wine etc.
I hope this won’t offend any Grandads reading it, but they could always invite their co-workers to laugh at it, so all is not lost.

What is DBF?? ??

I’m like you Smiley4, do everything as you have listed, to be honest I’ve had enough now. Longing to be invited to someone else is house and be handed a sherry to watch telly in a comfy chair whilst everyone else gets on with it! ??

lemongrove this morning I bought a pack of puff mincepies with brandy from the Co-op. They are gorgeous! Left me wondering why I did all that baking last week. Mind you, they are rather big so must be more fattening.

The answer is simple - delegate! You should have done it years ago.

I know other people have said this, but really, it’s so obvious where the problem lies.

Don't ask for help. Tell people what they have got to do. It will need a bit of supervision and tweeking the first couple of years, but they will learn

I actually enjoy the run up to Christmas. About 30 years ago I drew up a spreadsheet. It gets tweeked a bit year on year, but Christmas is always the same old same old (and we all love it), so I can do it in my sleep. If I need help I ask or tell someone to do it. I haven't made a mince pie for decades, DD always makes them. DS and family always cook at least one meal for us all (and clear up). I out source any technical present buying.

Laying the table is another job I outsource and I haven't poured a drink in years. Not sure I know how to

There is nothing of the martyr in my nature at any time of the year and certainly not at Christmas.

You know what? as my sister-in-law would say, if you're fed up of doing it but still are doing it you aren't fed up enough. When you are just tell everyone that you're not doing it any more and leave it to them. What are you afraid of? That everything will go wrong (define 'wrong’)? Maybe that needs to happen.

I was lucky lemon He was semi domesticated and probably tidier and more organised than me when I met him! (He even abhors toast crumbs by the toaster...can you imagine??)

However, he would leave any sort of Christmas merriment/organisation until Christmas Eve if it was up to him. I made it clear from the off that Christmas is important to me and I enjoy it. (He used to come over to my house in our courting period and was amazed and wowed by so much festive effort!)

Now he gets involved . I tell him I'll run off with Father Christmas if he doesn't get his finger out.

Um. That last sentence doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean.....

Hates toast crumbs by the toaster.....I feel exactly the same, the toaster has to be pristine and no crumbs sullying the work surface near it.A man after my own heart.
Crumbs may congregate in other areas though, the floor, my cleavage etc.

Gonegirl thanks for the heads up, when DH pops to our local shop (Co-op) I will ask for those mince pies, as we have eaten all the ones I made, and we are missing them.
‘A cup of tea’? ‘Yes, please, and a mince pie!’ Has been our fave thing this last week.

I’m going to risk general opprobrium, but I think many of us enjoy the outburst of domestic goddessness just once a year.
Whether it has come from M&S, Waitrose or our own efforts we enjoy the spread we produce, revel in the toast to the cook and the feeling of well-being when it is all over!
Now I will go and hide under a pile of (Aldi) mince pies and expect to be shouted down!

No opprobrium Maw. I am another who enjoys it, always have, always will. DD shares my enthusiasm as do DGC. The rest thoroughly enjoy but not with quite the intensity of DD and myself.

Last Christmas I was on my own in the kitchen, clearing up and getting grumpier and grumpier while everyone else including four-year-old granddaughter chatted. Then I heard someone call out, "Where are you off to?" "I'm going to help Granny!" Two minutes later, both daughters-in-law appeared, were very apologetic, grabbed tea-towels and got stuck in. We had the kitchen clear in no time. Then the men appeared. "What's for supper?"

I have never been a domestic goddess Maw would that I was but its not my forte.
My current husband is a chef who shops,prepares and cooks the meals. It's not true what my friends and colleagues said about that being the main reason I married him.

Marrying a chef sounds a good choice. I married the son of a cook. Bad mistake because I can never match up.
I agree with you about other people's expectations and the enormity of it all.
If it's any consolation, I'll be in my pinny on Tuesday with halfcooked potatoes and they'll arrive far too early with gifts of flowers looking for a vase.
I have delegated a bit so each family has a job to do.

I shouldn't grumble. I love them dearly and we do currently have the biggest house.
My suggestion if it helps:

Open the champagne early?