I think I’ll be alone this Christmas and can’t help feeling sad

This might have been said before but why not have a Christmas day with all the trimmings on another day with your son,dil and grandchild? It is great and feels like the real thing. We do it most years as both sons have wives who have big families . One year it happened on 2nd December! I know it's not quite the same but it's à lovely family day.
Hopè you enjoy the day whatever you decide to do.

Can i just say,although its 6 months away, any body and everybody is welcome here. DM if you need to.

I don't seem to have noticed posts from fellow grans for whom church takes up a large portion of Christmas. I still enjoy being in the choir after 36 years in the same one.

The 'Crisis at Christmas forays were at times when I was invited to help. I am usually so tired after (first) Midnight mass, preceded by a warm-up then start singing carols at 11.30, then mass followed by drinks with the clergy till about 2 a.m.
Christmas morning, singing again at the 11 a.m. mass. AlI I want is to go to sleep after lunch, for a long time.
This was the norm when my husband and son were alive too.

I spend most Christmas days alone & to be honest I quite like it.Nothing beats the excitement of young children waking early to see if Santa Claus has been kind to them & watching them opening their stockings or sacks ,but once the children/grandchildren are grown to me it is just another day & not worth travelling & arguing about.

Embrace the change.

I guess I'm really lucky, I have always spent Christmas day with ds and dil, along with dils parents. So when dgs came along there was no change. In the past we took it in turns to host, with everyone helping out but I think the next few years will be at ds house so that dgs can enjoy his presents

Amicoolyet I hope you feel better for just telling someone (on GN) how you are feeling. You will be fine and you will enjoy your new GC and Christmas will come and go and the change will be bearable despite some nostalgia for the past

Sorry typed wrong should have read hard to come to terms with.

Just read your text. Count yourself extremely lucky my Ds and family live in the Far East I havnt seen them for over 18 months. I found out last Saturday my DD and son in law are relocating to work in Dubai. Felt very sad bout this but nothing I can do it’s their life even though hard for me to conevtobtefns with. You have your family around you how well blessed you are.

The problem is expectations! The longer that you have the same routine every year the harder it is to break it. I reassure my (adult) children that I am fine, I would hate it if they thought I was a needy mother who put them under pressure. And I make my own arrangements.

Witzend

I think there a lot of people out there of the same opinion, there’s a lady on the checkup at my local supermarket, not old, who said she was very much looking forward to Christmas on her own, there was I with hundreds of pounds worth of food, much of it would end up in the bin, seeing her point!

I seem to remember a post last year from someone who was going to be on her own for Christmas for once, was positively looking forward to a nice peaceful day, eating and drinking whatever she wanted and watching whatever on TV - and was having trouble fending off invitations from friends and neighbours who were insisting that she couldn't possibly be alone on the day!

I can’t imagine anything more depressing than having all your family around for Christmas, when you know they’d prefer to be elsewhere

I don’t understand these parents that expect their grown children to still be ‘theirs’ Surely the very essence of parenting is giving them the tools and the confidence they need to fly from the nest and be their own people making their own decisions

Both my sons got married last year and every Christmas day til then I had my boys here at home with me. The, now daughter in laws spent Christmas day with their parents. This year was different and to be honest I was a little put out, but one daughter in law wanted to be with her parents and my son felt awkward as it was their first Christmas day together. My other sons new wife's parents wanted their daughter with them as it was the first Christmas she was married and of course that son felt awkward. . So....... it was agreed that we would have a family Christmas Day on Boxing Day. Christmas day for me was with my partner and we actually had a lovely day. Both sons sent texts and phone calls Boxing Day arrived and we all had our presents, dinner, games and both sons and their wives stayed overnight which was lovely. I think sometimes you have to appreciate that they do have their own lives and we cant always have things our own way, its just finding a compromise and trying not to feel too bad about it.

I do feel for you but at you will see the baby My daughter lives in Australia I’ve never spent Christmas with my grandchildren and probably never will it’s too expensive to go over around Christmas or for them to come over They spend every Christmas with SIL family very hard for me - I hope in future Christmas you can spend time with your family

so try not to be so self centred, it really isn’t a beguiling quality in the elderly.

How old are you Destin?

I agree -middle of June and your wishing your life away ...... or should I say worrying your life away! I think you have too much time on your hands to be concerned with something so trivial and - I hate to say it - you are more than a little self centred to take the trouble to write a post like this when so many readers so many more reasons to be sad.

Look for the joy in life ..... a first grandchild on the way ..... a considerate and caring son ....... and an understanding daughter in law. You have so much to be thankful for when you take in the whole picture of your relationship with your son up until now - so try not to be so self centred, it really isn’t a beguiling quality in the elderly.

You lucky lady - having friends and family nearby. Count your lucky stars and be thankful for what you have. Many of us have GC 1000's of miles away and very seldom see ours.

Both my DS and DD have done this when they had a family of their own. Both decided it was rather dull and made different arrangements subsequently.
Spend Christmas Day with your sister and don't sweat it.

I hadn’t thought of that Daisymae

Why on earth is the son thinking about Christmas in June, when he’s got so much else going on?

It does seem odd that a couple would feel compelled to be apart at Christmas just to placate their own parents. Your son is obviously aware of the issue as you have been given 6 months notice of the change of plan. Lots of options have been mentioned but having got it off of your chest I would forget about it and enjoy the rest of the summer.

I’ve often talked to people at work around Christmas, and a lot of people actually really love spending Christmas on their own, and get sick of all the sympathy

One of the worst things is all the publicity implying it is a terrible thing to be alone at Christmas. It really, really isn’t.

I'm sure you'll get used to the situation between now and Christmas Ami. I can understand you being emotional about the change but they are going to their own little family with a new baby this year.I think your son and daughter-in-law have been so very kind in giving themselves to their own parents each year. They've spent each christmas day apart. Your son still shows kindness by saying that he will visit you on the day for a while and they will visit maybe on boxing day. Can you think back to how you spent Christmas when you married and had children? Did you prefer to stay at home? We did. Be happy for them. Life changes and there are things we have to accept. There are people that have no one, you really are lucky if you think about it. You feel lost without your husband and think you're losing your son too but you're not, in fact you're gaining a lovely little grandchild. We have to accept change as our parents did with us. That's how life goes. If I were you, I would be making plans with your sister nearer the time, and maybe friends who spend Christmas alone and before you know it the day will have flown by. I'll say again that you have the most caring and thoughtful son and daughter- in-law, you really do. Be happy for them