Since I’ve been alone I have spent Christmas with my daughter and her husband with my and their dogs. They prefer not to come to me because my daughter likes to be in control and things done perfectly. She lives in a massive house with massive grounds, I stay over just that one night of the year. So I can have wine etc walk the dogs and drive back home (2 miles away) the next morning.
It’s all beautifully done.
This year my sos family of five decide they want to come Christmas Day instead of day after or day after that. I leave my dogs behind (because DIL doesn’t like dogs) and as they live a good hours drive away the whole visit takes place within a few hours with a high tea in the afternoon. ) no alcohol lots presents for kids; very focussed on them.
So now daughter says great ‘let’s get it over with’ all done in few hours on Xmas day; I don’t get to have a drink or have dogs with me relaxing Xmas evening and annual stay over. I’ve just replied ‘yeh get it over with’ and she has said thumbs up. She knows im bit upset but as she said it’s not your birthday!
It’s tough being alone most of the year but most difficult at Christmas. DIL has never been friendly and we’re never invited to theirs. She only concedes visit to me as gran at Xmas and once in spring /summer ; at my house in the summer at my (his only sibling. She has no children) daughters at Xmas. It’s how it is. But to actually say no, come another day to son who wants to visit Xmas day with their three children is very hard!!! What do you think? Does any of this make sense to anyone else?
Treelover Wed 20-Nov-19 11:47:12
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