Just for laughs

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My wife asked me if I would like a new phone for Christmas. Not really, I told her. I have only ever had two phones. One was an analogue that I liked, the second is something from Apple, that I don't much like. I mean why call it an IPhone when you put it to your ear.
When I came across this poem by one, Rick Cotton, I thought, "Well at least you have cracked getting it internet connected, I'll get there, give me time."

© Rick W. Cotton
My new phone is "smart." I guess that I'm not.
Amazing what all this here smart phone has got.
TV and Weather and Internet, too.
There's just no limits to what it can do.
Check my blood pressure and my temperature
Without even probing all my apertures.
I now know the time in Paris or Greece.
I can track the migration of thousands of geese
Or find Chinese food; it's here on this map.
Oops, my finger just slipped, now where was that at?
A camera...a CAMERA! Now I can take shots
Of everyone I know (who'd rather I not).
Push this here button and take me a "selfie."
(If it had a nose would this thing take a "smellfie"?)
Email to pester with, video to shoot,
Maps to drive 'round with, wow that's a hoot!
A compass to guide me home if I'm lost.
Thank God work paid for this thing (what it COSTS!).
The things that it does would amaze Mr. Bell.
What he would have thought of it, no one can tell,
But one question's still stuck in my middle-aged craw.
Despite all the gizmos that strike me with awe,
They're fun and they're useful and "techy" and all
...But how do I just simply make a phone call?

Got the tree up?

Just seen this one

Love that card Urm! ❤️

I love it too Urmstongran!!! Especially the baby Jesus so sweet!

Another favourite of mine-

I love this card for Christmas!

grannyby; Couldn't you have posted an even clearer picture? It wouldn't copy/paste, so I've had to transcribe the text; "Three Wise Women"

would have arrived on time and delivered the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and there would have been Peace on Earth.

And presumably, they would have expressed their thanks and given blessings to the Good Shepherd who would have previously serviced them and their machine and guided them to the right road, of righteousness!

But not a LAMB casserole, please! Poor little defenceless thing. Hopefully those three witches turn out to be Vegans, or at least stick to their usual diet of frog's legs, lizards and newts etc. Bon Appetite.

I loved this one. Might be of interest to rufus?
Jane; Why me? Believe me, I'm a regular sort of guy; ask any nurse
But this might be of interest to you!
I recently bought, from a Christmas gift catalogue, a so-called motion detector light that you hang on the rim of the bowl (notice, no 'e') and which is supposed to light up when you enter and go off when you leave, but it doesn't work. I've tested it several times, but no go! Now I'm wondering what sort of motion do they mean!

When I first saw this on F Book, I must admit I chuckled & forwarded it, says it all about how I feel about Xmas, I am the female Grinch!

This isn't strictly a Christmas joke - it applies at any time!

shysal I'm weeping ???

That would be my sister in years gone by ?

grannybuy

So true!

A clearer picture!

Love this one.

Awesome stuff ladies, made me laugh out loud at the end of a long hard day

This is me! ?

I’ve already text it to all my friends and family...,love it!!

I loved this one. Might be of interest to rufus?