Things that should be punishable at Christmas! (light hearted)

These are all so true, not Christmas related as such but:
A/ Drivers who don’t indicate ?
B/ Drivers who don’t say thank you ?
I leave the house in a good mood and by the time I get to my destination, I’m ready to explode ?
Hope everyone had a good Christmas,counting down to the next one ?

A few years ago we had just sat down to eat our Chistmas dinner when the doorbell rang. Who calls uninvited on Christmas day? It was a Russian family that my husband knew. Mum dad and two kids. Husband being polite left his dinner uneaten and began fetching them drinks etc., meanwhile the rest of us carried on eating. They could clearly see us through the glass doors! Everything felt ruined. Husband missed the meal he had cooked, the rest of us felt we had to eat quickly so we could go and make conversion. I think back and wonder if it was a culture difference, that they didn't realise they were intruding on a very special day.

Inishowen, I may be wrong, but I think the Orthodox churches celebrate on 6th January. If that is the case, they would probably not have realised they were gatecrashing your celebration. Poor husband!

The people who say, but it's Christmas you must have a glass of something or some dish with sherry. When told I don't touch any form of alcohol or alcohol containing dish . I am a alcoholic in recovery for 20years when people get to persistent my DD always steps in and tells them it brings me out in a rash. It does on my brain .I have become quite a recluse this time of year the worst one was a person who was aware and insisted that it was Christmas and it was ok I lost it and asked if it was nuts I could not have would she say the same thing. Not seen her since

People who visit you with a tiny baby (gorgeous little darling really) and it cries non-stop!

Am fascinated by the 'different meals for different people' brigade. (Sincere apologies Cindy, I'm not getting at you. I've seen this such a lot this Christmas) Ok. So veggies will eat anything the vegans have - so make a nut roast with no cheese (such a simple dish I promise) or get yourself a plant based something from M&S, Tesco, Waitrose etc. Apart from don't use goose fat on the roasties, or make the gravy with meat juices, they'll have the rest of what everyone else is eating. Vegetable stock cubes for gravy. Lactose intolerance? Don't give them sauces with milk or cheese. Coeliac - no stuffing, check there's not wheat in a shop-bought marinade or sauce. They wouldn't have gravy, so you could make thin gravy for them. Prepared shop bought roast potatoes will probably have flour on them.

Glad I’m not coming to your home Phoenix.

I have noticed that it's usually men that ask when the food will be served, especially when they haven't bothered to get up for any breakfast!
Anyone that, when you are going to a relatives for Christmas lunch get up, spend 45minutes in the bathroom at least and then come downstairs, saying "Right, we'll go then" 30 minutes before you are expected at your host's (it usually takes longer to get there) , pick up the bags that you are taking without checking that everything that they want to take is in them and then spend the rest of the day moaning because xyz isn't there, bcause you are a mind reader and you should know that he'd want them !
This is all after you have got up early, fed the cat and the rabbit, cleared up the kitchen from the mess he left after a midnight snack and also packed those bags!

Relatives (notably BiL's) who openly belch out loud as they eat making no attempt at apology but offer "it's only manly!"

Wot? Vulgar behaviour and appalling manners is 'manly' is it?

My BiL is a sodding caveman......

Those who sit at the table and talk about how lovely everything is where they live: turkey, veg, cakes, bread, cream, cheese, fish, spirits. Why are they eating the awful stuff they are currently being served in my house? There should be no comments allowed other than: delicious, really enjoyed that, and a bloody big Thank You.

People who say "just give me a small portion," after you've been slogging your guts out in the kitchen.

My DIL having all the cards from HER family proudly displayed on the mantelpiece while cards from our side are hidden in the kitchen. So hurtful.

People who ignore the little side table beside their chair and put their glass of red wine down on the floor instead. And are then shocked and "mortified" when the glass falls over, spilling red wine all over my 6 month old light beige carpet.

I had one vegetarian, one gluten free and one low carb. The gluten free one was very hard to sort out so it was left to his mum to deal with.

The DH who says afterwards “that wasn’t so bad was it?” When all he did was stack the dishwasher, pour drinks and snooze in front of TV. They really should be made to shop, prep and cook a Christmas dinner at least once.

A little thank you from DH's for all the hardwork that we wives put in over Christmas. Saving all year round for the season so tere are no debts in the New Year. From buying and wrapping the gifts, buying, writing and posting cards. Shopping, queueing,preparing,cooking and serving the food. Decorating the house and dismantling after Christmas.Still cleaning the house, changing the bedding, washing and ironing whilst doing all the other things relating to Christmas. It is hard not to feel taken for granted sometimes.

Cindysmith, have you thought about say " I have absolutely no idea what to feed people on restrictive diets. "
"We can either go out for lunch( Boxing Day is much cheaper) or you girls can take over the cooking next time as I find it all too stressful now I am getting older."

Aepgirl ??? Please explain your post of 11.06 (I'm glad you're not coming, but would be interested to know why you are glad! )

I would gladly put my ex in this category, not only Christmas but all year if I am spending time with my DD’s he somehow mysteriously turns up. Christmas this year, prime example, and he left his now wife at home, saying it’s not a problem as we have a strong relationship.

Grown children who show up to eat on Christmas, watch their children open tons of presents from me, then leave without even a thank you.

People who say 'you shouldn't have wasted your money buying me a present' Why can't people just accept gifts graciously?

Parents who tell me their children will eat anything when I ask about any dislikes. Then their children flatly refuse to eat anything offered to them and ask for something I don't have! I'm not used to fussy eaters, it's eat what's offered in our house or go without. Said children then complain that they're hungry for the rest of the day and I'm expected to jump up and make something they like. Thankfully these kids are not my GC - they wouldn't dare!

DIL who arrives as late as possible before Christmas and announces next day that she hasn't slept well, feels poorly and is going home!

As far as we could see all that was wrong with her was a pain in the temper and a disagreement with DS.

However, we wished her a speedy recovery and said, "of course dear, if you aren't well, you would much rather be at home."

The last thing I would have wanted to do, if I was feeling unwell was to travel by bus from one end of the country to the other, but there's nowt so queer as folk, is there?

Those who say, oh I’m much too full, after you have made three different desserts, then twenty minutes later clean you out of the quality street!

Love it! That's my family!

Husband loves to monopolise the conversation and only ever wants to talk about himslef, guess how many times I have heard this!
Christmas Day my Grandson brought his girlfriend,she was so considerate being a vegetarian she brought what she wanted and could eat.
Boxing day a couple came,the wife a vegetarian, not so considerate, she didnt bring anything but said she could just eat the accompmients! fortunately we had some vegetarian food left from Christmas Day. People who need special diets should think of the host family,and at least try to have something with them,otherwise shot at dawn.

Why, when I am urged to buy very expensive crackers "Because the presents inside are so much better," do I find all the presents left on the table when everyone has gone?