Comparing how much grandparents spend

We don't have a very high income, so can't even begin to compete with the other grandparents, who are very well off.

This year, I made some of the gifts, my 7yr old grandson specifically asked me for a waistcoat to replace the one that I made a couple of years ago. He chose some fabric, and I made him one in the fabric that he had chosen (cost £7), & another in another fabric. I made fudges, and we bought art and craft books, and found 'grown up' paints, and other art tools being sold on line, it meant that we had to think about gifts a long time e before Xmas. For my grandson, my husband made a bird house kit for the garden, and we bought an 'eye spy' book for him to mark of the birds that he sees.

In total, I think we spent £150 in total on my daughter's whole family, but we don't worry about how much we have spent on each person. One year we spend more on one child another it will be it the other and we will buy second hand things too if it's something in particular (for example last year we purchased a second hand pair of excellent quality binoculars for our young grandson).

Birthdays are simple we purchase a magazine subscription, and I make something.

I only have 4 grandchildren from my 2 children. The other grandparents have 17 from their 8 children. I usually give £100 to each of mine. The other grandparents give £20 each. Seems fair to everyone.

I think it was extremely rude by the time they reach 15 they should realise that it is the thought that counts.
I spend about £50 on all of mine it’s all I can afford.

I confess I did not read to the end of this chain - so apologies if I am repeating. My advice would be to completely ignore what you have heard. There are any way to show love and money is certainly not top of the tree. We usually give around £30 at xmas but it reached £40 this year. Generally £40 for a birthday. As we were away for many of them this year we left £40 in a card and continued to do this for the rest of the grandchildren and the adults. We hope to be more imaginative next year but it is difficult. We have 8 grandchildren raging from 7 to 15

I have 2 GC, toddlers. The other GP who have no other GC spend like crazy on these 2 all year round. And I meanly weekly. For each birthdays they visit with several bags of stuff like crazy. I think the GM has a problem. I'm in my 70s with basic pension so cant afford a lot. Even if I was well off no way would I feel the need to compete. It doesnt mean the GC are loved more or less by either of us. And the children will know that as they grow up.

I used to buy each of the four DGC a present to open and a cheque for their bank account but now they are older I just give them £40 in cash as they do internet banking and we don't. I suspect the money just gets spent and doesn't go in their bank accounts but I feel that is up to them (and their parents). They get the same amount for their birthdays. I'm thinking maybe next year I should up this amount a bit but not hugely. I've no idea what the other grandparents give and I don't really want to know. As a family, we don't do presents for the adults. Gosh - we sound mean, don't we?

I’m very aware we spend a lot on our grandchildren, but we are both still working, and we like to spoil them.
It’s in no way a competition, we do what we can, so do the other grandparents, one child has a father and grandparents who show very little interest in her, so I suppose we tend to over compensate.

Gardenergran
That sounds like a great idea for a present.

My mum gives 3 GC aged 15, 17 and 22 £20 each for both christmas and birthdays.
My dad and stepmum spends about the same but gets me to buy a present.
My sisters mil spends about the same as does my partner's parents on my daughter, although they usually buy a gift to unwrap.
The kids don't compare, and on certain occasions 21st had more, my nephew who was 17 got a few driving lessons, and no doubt my neice will get something special for one of her big birthdays.
When she was going to uni my mum helped pay for a laptop as I had just got made redundant.
And this year she gave me and my partner £1000 to book a holiday and my sister the same a few months later.
She doesn't go mad with presents but if help is needed and she has it she will help.

It is obvious by the posts that people posting have very varying amounts of disposable income with which to buy presents. So to me you give what you think is appropriate for your situation. Living abroad my present to my grandchildren under 18 is money into their savings acounts. I have a lot of grandchildren. But this year I have concentrated on those in more need especially as this has to come from my savings. I am having to be careful because I may need to pay for cancer treatment which may not be available on the health service here out of my savings.

We have four adult children with partners and nine grandchildren. We now limit spending to £40 for adult kids, £30 for partners and somewhere in between for the GCs. Same for birthdays unless they’re significant ones in which case we give them £100. Soon we’ll have to rethink spending as I’m due to retire next September.

Children can be incredibly materialistic!

I have one GD, one year old. I gave her £50 towards annual ticket to fun park and zoo nearby. I could afford more but I know how I’ve always appreciated everything I’ve had all my life which I put down to not being given loads of stuff as a child. I don’t think you do children any favours giving them all they want, and your love and time are the most precious gifts.

This year I was left feeling like a real scrooge. 7 year old GD had a wish list prepared with DiL which I found helpful. The most expensive items was a party dress and I bought this together with a couple pairs if sparkly tights all as her main gift. Also bought 4 other little items including a game. I thought I was doing well. At DiL for Christmas Day opening of presents from other GP went on all day long. I didn't see most of the stuff on GDs wish list so there must have been another one for other GP. Never felt so mean in my life and vowed I would not spend another Christmas Day there.

I am not the other GP. I spend on my GC and have no idea to the banking of the others. I may be mean.

This year we went to great lengths to find exactly what was requested, and although our income has decreased we're finding the requests increase! Due to illness and other family members desperatly needing our time & travelling distance we couldn't physically deliver the very large, heavy box of 'stuff' to one family branch, so posted (stiff charges) it with an explanation & apologies & it arrived in good time (no acknowledgement from recipients though). In the past we've been the family courier service, this year we just couldn't do it & warned everyone- no attention paid and we've had the irritation generated by our perceived lack of effort! It's very hurtful. This year we didn't even get a phone call. DH says we should go on holiday next year or book ourselves a restaurant Christmas dinner, send vouchers for gifts & stop trying to please everyone else.

I have three children and seven grandkids they all get £100 each Christmas and birthdays
I only have my pension no other money coming in so it’s a chunk but they are all I have and I can’t start making it less and still feel comfortable so that’s how it is for me and that’s how it will stay even though at least three earn a lot more than me ?

We are comfortably off and we like to spend on our family now rather than leave a large amount for the children to pay in death duties! We spend around £500 on each child and £200 on grandchildren. Half in money...rest in presents. We are scrupulously fair....each has the same monetary value.

Cabbie don't be upset about it. It's too blooming materialistic these days. The real reason for Christmas has gone out of the window for a lot of people. I have a friend who says "Jesus is the reason for the Season." Makes sense whether or not you are a Christian in my opinon. It's the thought that counts.

We have 16 grandchildren and along with their parents have 30 to buy for. The children all know their other grandparents spend more because they have less to buy for. Our whole family Christmas party and cousins who will be friends for life more than make up the difference.

I don’t have a set amount for each person, but once summer is over start to put away bits and pieces I think the recipient will like.

My youngest GD, (two in November) was thrilled to bits with the orange she had requested and which her other GP’s gave her. She had eaten it within ten minutes of opening it. Her other favourite was the soft toy sausage dog we gave her, which I’d bought in a sale.

She had other gifts from both GP’s but those were the ones that were loved the best, and were the cheapest.

Sussex born I agree with you. Do not be pressured into something you don't agree with. Quite frankly 15 yr olds can be pretty manipulative and will quite happily set different family members into competition if they are to benefit! I have seen this in action - and it's not nice to witness, I was on the periphy so could not interfere.

Don't worry about it. You cannot be equal to others all of the time. You're inevitably going to be more generous at points in other ways. Don't compare or worry. Your grandson just stated facts thoughtlessly. It's not knocking you. My grandparents were never equal in gifts or time spent with me. I valued quality time and heartfelt moments so much more than the generous gifts.

My three AC and their partners plus 7 GC and 6 friends - about £20 each. I spend only a little more on birthdays.

I give all my grandchildren money, which they are old enough to appreciate. Their other grandparents don’t live nearby, and one set in particular spend at least 5 times what we do, but mostly on stuff which ends up in the charity shop. I feel no guilt at all about this, and can’t be ars*d with competition. They’ll get what I can afford, and if they don’t like it, tough.