What would you do?

Would you even consider gathering anything like this on any other day? - Inside, dining together -etc, all ages mixing.

Now that your much needed move is on the horizon of course you are right in not wanting to take any risks. We have told our AC we will not be seeing them over Christmas because we want to be here to see them in the spring. DD not pleased but I don’t think she is seeing it from our elderly and vulnerable point of view. Like your family, our AC and GC are out and about and potential carriers of the virus, so stick sweetly to your guns and see individuals outside as and when you can.

Of course you are not being unreasonable!

I don't think I would go. I have a small family, and usually it is 5 or 6 of us on one day over Christmas and even now I am considering whether to take that risk as I am considered clinically vulnerable. Both my sons work at home and one DIL does too. The other however is working in the community and although all precautions are taken there is a slight risk to her. We have all done as we are told for almost a year and it is worth the risk for just one day?

I do hope things work out well for you - just keep yourself safe.

Luckygirl would not be breaking the rules as she is already in the bubble with one family so that counts a one household, plus the other two. However I still would not go. Meeting outdoors sounds a lovely idea to me, you could always take some lunch home with you too to save cooking. I am sure they would be happy to oblige. Hope you have a good day despite Covid

GrannyRose15

I'd definitely go. Sounds like fun with the added bonus you won't have to cook.

??? Seriously????? What a ridiculous attitude!

Well you can't go anyway, you'd be risking a fine, as your presence would make 4 households which is one over the allowed amount.

You don't say where you are but in tier 1 it's a maximum of 6 indoors , the other 2 tiers are no one indoors at all - in a bubble or not. People have also been asked not to move between tiers as well.
Personally I wouldn't go. But each area will be reassessed from 16th December, so anything can happen after that

Luckygirl
You have a house move (taking place immediately after xmas???????) the move is in itself one of the most exhausting tasks in most peoples lives xmas or no xmas
Not unreasonable then to back out of the xmas festivities inviting people to your' new house warming' once settled in.

It also depends on what, if any, risk factors you have.

A bubble is one household so no rule breaking going on. An elderly relative some years ago lost her DH and announced to DC she would in future be spending Christmas on her own. She made it sound lovely- decs, m&s Christmas dinner to pop in the oven, feet up watching TV. Maybe that wasn’t the reality, and obvs you would rather be with family, but you will need resolve- and you have some super ideas. Keep firm, tell them o have a great day, say you are not going for the day whatever changes they come up with, and refer them back to your list. Maybe do a few things with someof them pre-Christmas too. Put a happy face on, rest up for your move, plan a few treats for yourself and you can think of happier Christmases with DH without everyone being concerned about you. Best wishes.

The risk is too high. Stay home

win

Luckygirl would not be breaking the rules as she is already in the bubble with one family so that counts a one household, plus the other two. However I still would not go. Meeting outdoors sounds a lovely idea to me, you could always take some lunch home with you too to save cooking. I am sure they would be happy to oblige. Hope you have a good day despite Covid

I think (though not 100% sure) that existing bubble are replaced by the xmas bubble. Otherwise you could end up with 6 households all meeting up if they all took their existing support bubble with them! Also it wouldn't be a very popular rule clause because that would mean the person you'd bubbled with year round - for example two single mothers and their kids, would have to choose one single mother's family to stay with over xmas even and stay there together with some family they'd probably never met before and not see their own mother and nan! No I think the existing bubbles are set aside over the 5 xmas days

I certainly wouldn’t go, far too many people. I don’t think the virus waits for an hour before infecting so even a short visit seems risky. My family (all living in tier 3 areas) have decided to have Christmas in their own homes and use tech to share the celebration. Joint decision, no arguments, jealousies or hurt feelings

I am afraid I do things I don't want to do very often as I don't like rocking the boat. The same this Christmas, for two weeks after I will be looking for symptoms.

This is awful - anxiety for 2 weeks, and maybe an actual severe illness, all to be 'polite'.

Luckygirl if you really think it would cause difficulties to say beforehand that you're not going - just phone on the day to say you feel unwell (dodgy tummy?) so you won't be coming.

Could you say on Christmas Eve develop a sore throat and decide to self isolate? Then on Boxing Day start to feel better?

Sleepygran

Could you say on Christmas Eve develop a sore throat and decide to self isolate? Then on Boxing Day start to feel better?

Best idea of all!

Thank you everyone for your supportive posts and suggestions. I have told them that I will not be coming at Christmas - normally I stay over from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day.

They are concerned about it, as they know that my first Christmas as a widow is when I really need family around; but I am clear that this is the right decision and I am sure we will find ways of "meeting" either virtually of outdoors.

Maybe we need a gang of Gransnetters who are on their own to have a thread of their own to send Xmas wishes.

Well done on making your decision, Lucky. Very difficult indeed for you. First Christmas after my H death I escaped on a European break. Unfortunately that's not an option this year. I've had many Christmases alone and haven't found them awful at all. As long as there are injections of contact from those you love then physical distance doesn't seem so bad. Good luck with your planned move. You'll certainly need all your strength and resourcefulness for that. Stay content in that you've made the right (and understandably brave) decision

That's good Luckygirl.
I'm sure they'll find ways to show they love you - and keeping you safe is one of them.

Could you see them on Boxing Day when not so many people are in tge house?

I really wouldn’t go. This is how the infection will spread. I honestly think that this five days, although I can understand how people want to see family, will be catastrophic in terms of spreading the virus and all the lockdowns and tiers will have been a waste of time. I’m staying home on my own and am quite happy about it.

Don't risk it when we are so close to a vaccine.

I wouldn’t go. Even for an hour. I think there will be a surge in cases with families getting together. Just one person with the virus could infect everyone else.

You have to stick to your guns, Luckygirl. That’s better than regretting possible outcomes later.

Why risk another 20 or so (don't know how old you are) Christmases by taking a risk and celebrating this one? It makes no sense to me. The government has only relaxed the rules for Christmas because they know they will largely be ignored anyway. Come mid-January many people are going to regret what they have done.