How do I opt out ?

I made the decision years ago only to give presents to my nuclear family i.e. husband and child only. My mother and siblings were relieved! All this present giving had become a chore. Later, child’s in laws started to give , I played along for a bit, but then put a stop to it by saying that I preferred to donate to a charity.A certain amount of disappointment was expressed, but was that only out of politeness? So much unnecessary stuff is being bought and given - the world is being swamped by it

I pick up bits and pieces for GC (2) as I go along and then consult their Mum for the biggie. The adults get a gesture gift, usually something comedic, if I find something I fancy for them. Other than that a simple sweet will suffice. It's about the children and the company of the adults for me.

I'm only buying for my grandchildren and adult children this year as we are both retired and on pension. All other family members will just get cards.
As I have a huge family I can't afford it anymore.
I think rather than buying presents for your extended family and risking items not to their liking, wine, spirits, tins of biscuits, chocolates, liqueur chocolates etc are always welcome. Also a fruit hamper is a good idea.

We usually 'gift' a special day out, such as a picnic by the seaside, or pub meal in the countryside. In 'normal' times, this gives us all the precious opportunity to get together and share fun. So our present is an IOU in a pretty card with details of the gift we will organise when the time is right. I hope this helps.

My sister and I have each bought ourselves a special treat each Christmas now for years , as our gift from each other. We tell each other about our treats. Some years we manage to buy these "gifts" when shopping together. The lack of surprise is more than made up for by the pleasure of the indulgence. Hoping to convert more of our adult relations to this, rather than everyone rack their brains and waste their money

I think it is too late to make such an announcement this year.
Last year straight after Christmas I said to my friends that I would not be buying gifts for them again, birthday or Christmas but instead would like to have treat days out to celebrate each occasion, afternoon tea, shopping trip to another town for lunch etc. Hasn’t worked for this year but will hopefully for next. At the sam time I told these friends that I would no longer be buying for their (adult ) children nor their children. What a relief as I was buying for people that I never see and whose children didn’t even know me. It was really tricky to choose presents and expensive too. So glad I did it and Christmas shopping has been really easy this year.

I did hampers for a few years when my father was alive and living with my sister.

I too like to give something ive put more thought into, to fit what they like, but yes its getting harder- i do give to all my AC and their OH, and of course my grandchildren, but with this year and i may be faced with posting gifts it will cost a fortune- ive already collected most though, so at a loss what to do.Next year i might just get for/give cash to GC, and my youngest 3- (2 still at home, 22&17) and my youngest DD who still lives at her dads house& has no children ive to buy for.And possibly a small gift for my youngest sons grandparents/dad, from him.(we're divorced) might make it easier all round.

My sister and I exchange Birthday gifts as mine is in December and her's January. We decided a few years back not to buy Christmas gifts for each other's partners or grown up children. We give small gifts or money to the youngest children. I like to send books or games that they can all enjoy. I give my sons money. My OH and I don't need anything.

Another idea is to buy (online) hampers and have them delivered. There really is lots of choice...and everyone appreciates it...especially after Christmas when things fall flat!

We’ve opted out. It was easy, I think other members of your family may well be relieved to as well. We only buy presents for immediate family who will be visiting on Christmas/Boxing Day. This year my son and his wife will receive presents, mainly consisting of a stocking with small items in and one larger present each, to the value of £30.
My daughter who lives 300 miles away always treats us to lunch when we get to see them as a belated Christmas or birthday present and has suggested that this year we share a holiday cottage with her and her family in the spring. I think it’s who is around the tree and not what’s under the tree.
I like to match the present to the person. You see people shopping and picking items up saying “that’ll do for our Liam, John, Martin”, all the boys men getting the same thing, making the whole gift giving a chore.
The grandchildren always have a present.

If there was ever a Christmas to not go Christmas gift shopping, it has to be this one.l.but if you do want to give something, I personally don’t see a problem with giving money. If you want to make it more personal, you could put cash or a cheque inside a card but we are transferring money into family’s accounts. It is given with love...and thought...as times are harder for them....and they already are saying what they will do with the money.bI think it’s appreciated. If we see them, we’ll take wine for adults and chocolate for them and the children. Can’t see the point of giving unwanted stuff. It’s not very eco friendly but if you opt out altogether, I’m sure your family would understand.

I have always given Christmas gifts to all my friends, as well as the immediate family. This year I decided it was ridiculous to continue to give them to friends as we all have far too much stuff already. I discussed this with them and we agreed it was a good idea. I am giving presents to their grandchildren as they are all quite young and would appreciate a little something to open on Christmas Day. The son of one of my friends doesn't seem to be able to stop having children though - seven at the last count, so I'm going to buy a little gift for the two youngest and leave it at that. Of course, we send gifts to the daughter, son-in-law and baby in New York and the grandchildren in Copenhagen and they all get birthday presents. My wonderful next-door-neighbour's two young granddaughters get an Advent Calendar each.

In our family we stop giving presents when children reach 18, then only give to adults on significant birthdays ie. with a nought on the end. We live a long way from family and often don't know their tastes. Have recently discovered P.O. "One4all" gift cards, ideal to send with loads of choice for where to spend.

Over the years we've wound the adult children's presents down to just something small as the number of grandchildren has increased. This year we are beginning to also wing the giving for the oldest two grandchildren (17 and 19) down to the adult proportion too!

I suppose once you start it is difficult to stop. As someone has said, just bit the bullet and stick to immediate family.

We have only ever bought presents for children, whether it be our own or grandchildren. We have also now decided to stop buying for grandchildren when they get to 18.

Several things you can do: ask that there be a limit spent (note: if you get things from charity shops there might even be un wanted gifts that are still in their original wrapping); I used to ask my children to give me a home-made card, and some loose change, so I could get as many second-hand books and craft things as I could. You could make a sort of raffle where you write a person's name once, twice, or however many times you want, and then draw lots, and everyone gets gifts for just these 1,2,3, people. You can buy tiny containers - pots, purses, mugs, boxes, and put money in them - that way it's not "just" money. You can make stuff - knitting, preserves, pot plants... or you can buy things during the year and squirrel them away...

Please be careful with secret santa online I've heard some have lost their money

In the present climate I don't think anyone would take issue with a "no presents" rule but I do think you need to tell people quickly otherwise they may already have bought you one and will feel resentment.

I like the idea of 1 present per household. That would save a lot of problems. Thank you

We realised 8 years ago (pre grandchildren) that 4 hours for 6 adults, myself DH, 2xDD and 2xDSIL was far too much. More so after opening a box from DD in Australia that had many lightweight wrapped gifts and instructions to ‘lucky dip’ our gifts. We had so much fun we decided to use that theme for our future Christmas’s.
We agreed we each buy 3 x £5 presents, 1 x £5 charity present, 1 x homemade present. All wrapped and placed in a black bin liner with just one of us (usually me) to display them - sofa or table or floor depending where we spend Christmas. We start with eldest or youngest and take it in turns to select one gift at a time. No touching. Anything touched is what you have. We really do have so much fun. When all are opened we then barter and or swap.
Grandchildren arrived and we removed the hand made and replaced it with a recycled gift of any value. This is something gifted to us in the previously from anyone. We fully agree no offence.
We now wait with excitement until all the grandchildren are in bed and this is ‘our time’ and the start of party time.
So presents cost each of us £20 for however many of us there are. We have been joined by friends and or other family members. January sales are perfect for getting our bargains. If something costs £4.99 we add the 1p.
We also do a £10 secret Santa for the dinner table. Last year we upped it to £20 but unanimously agreed to put it back to £10 for this year.
I hope this might be useful to some gransnetters for future years ?

tanith could you explain how Secret Santa works online? How do you do the draw?

A few years ago I told the family I was no longer buying Christmas gifts for adults. They have everything they need and if they want anything they usually just order it online.

Could you give each person a Christmas card and write inside that this year instead of buying gifts for friends and family you are donating to a charity/ good cause - then name it?

I did this a couple of years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. We do have children in the family, but we only literally see them every 12-24 months. I know so little about their likes and dislikes so I knew I had to do something. I no longer work due to my health and so one day I just put in the family group that I was no longer buying Christmas presents as it was getting out of hand. It didn't go down well at all, but in fact two other family members followed my lead and stopped buying presents too. As I said it didn't go down too well, but it made me feel so much better and less stressed. Just do it, you won't regret it I promise. Good luck