I intensely dislike christmas.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'm not as far along the scale as you, grannyscrooge, but I must admit I'm not a Christmas lover. I enjoy the present giving and receiving for immediate family, and the special food etc, but I think Christmas starts far too early (like in October for some people) and a lot of it seems so false. A lot of fuss and ridiculous expense for just a couple of days, which most people have forgotten or ignore the original meaning of anyway. For so many it's just an excuse to get pissed, cause family rows and get into debt. I'm always rather glad when it's over and the decorations all come down. And this year it will be a time when many entirely ignore all the covid rules, with the inevitable spread and increase in cases and deaths afterwards.

If you don’t like doing it, explain to your family and don’t do it . Or don’t explain and don’t do it. It’s horrible being in pain and feeling fragile but no point in being a martyr about it, that just gives you emotional as well as physical suffering. Be assertive.

I could have written this post. Totally understand. I think your family are being very disrespectful both to you, your home and your adult son who does not disguise that he cannot manage the day. I manage similar by setting ground rules. So Its COME and very WELCOME in the morning. We'll have a Secret Santa max spend £15. We'll have something nice to eat (used to be sit down pancakes but now its Prosecco and little nibbles). We will open the Secret Santa presents and everybody will stay in the same room and be involved. And then you will leave and go home to your own houses and have a riotous time and leave me be. IT WORKS.

This year is the perfect year to break as you can say you need to keep yourself safe and everyone else with Covid19 around. Once cycle is broken, it'll be easier to suggest something different next year.

Dear Grannyscrooge: you need to acknowledge the way you feel, actually it will help you. There is a difference between caring and being a doormat. Please tell your relatives that you are in pain and unable to host people this year. Maybe one day you can all pool together and find a cottage where everyone can help. I tried for years and realised it was really such a chore I started going to volunteer at a Christmas lunch for those in need. I can't do that now, but it broke the pattern. Parents these days have the child/ren at the centre of their universe and think everyone else needs to as well. You would be amazed at how many others feel the same as you.

I would have thought this year is the year to ring the changes . Just say your worried about getting covid before the vaccine is available so don’t feel able to meet up this year . You could send money for their meal or some kind of Christmas hamper from a website if you think they will struggle financially ? Once the routine is broken it will be easier to say just pop round for a couple of hours in future years.

* I have 2 grandsons who are spoilt little gits who I don't particularly enjoy seeing. I miss my daughter, their mum, because she has no time to have a chat anymore, it's all about these little gits that ruin my house, open drawers and dig through my personal possessions like they own the house*

It’s not that she doesn’t have time for you
It’s because you have such a horrible and unrelentingly negative view of her children that she doesn’t WANT to talk to you.

I really feel concerned for you that you feel this way about your family.....and your grandchildren in particular. You sound very miserable and depressed for whatever reason.

Perhaps you could make a concerted effort to join in the family enjoyment this year, keeping in mind that so many people have lost loved ones during 2020 especially, and would right now give anything to have 'another Christmas' with their loved one/s who is/are gone.

With that in mind you might find you can actually enjoy the Festive Season once again with the right mindset.

I really feel for you grannyscrooge. Have you tried asking your daughter for help with the day itself. Let her know how much pain you are in and an extra pair of hands would be helpful not just for the cooking etc but also to keep the kids under some sort of control in your house. I have 4 grandchildren and yes at Christmas they are as high as kites and I do fall exhausted into a chair once they are gone but wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m sorry I can’t offer any practical help but just thought maybe a wee heart to heart with your daughter might help. ❤️

Surely if you hate it all so much, your family must be able to detect it - unless you are a fantastic actor.
Why not just say to them all ‘I really don’t feel up to it all this year, so I think I’ll just stay on my own’?

If that’s what you want to do it, life is too short to spend time thinking about what you rather do. Christmas is just one day of the year, maybe you could arrange a spa day for your daughter and yourself to have a day together after Christmas or if finances don’t stretch to that just a walk and lunch together?

spoilt brats is more appropriate, and you don't have to like Christmas, I am like you in having a hatred for it, stems from childhood for me, always ends in tears , its too commercialised and as I am not religious it is irrelevant. Much prefer Pagan celebration, winter solstice, I remember saying that I was a pagan to one religious person, didn't go down well. and at least a brilliant excuse not to see them is covid....

I so agree, Christmas is my “dreaded” time, just get it over with, grit my teeth and then relax in January

Your not alone i dislike it as well, i dont see my 2 children their decision not mine so i dont have to worry about it really, my partner and i just cook ourselves a christmas dinner we dont bother with cards or presents and do we do not feel in any way like scrooge we just enjoy our day and do what ever we want, you should just say your not doingchristmas this year and let them get on with it, do what you want and enjoy.

I dread Christmas and that everyone is supposed to love it .
I feel more alone and tell myself it’s only a couple of days but it makes me feel more sad and isolated

Christmas is the worst time of year for make I absolutely hate it cannot wait for January the second

So pleased with my son and lovely daughter in law. Agreed absolutely no adult presents and no fancy dinner. Just a fun time for the very small people,

I think the older we get the more boring Christmas becomes because we’ve done it so many times.
A cottage in the country until it’s all over sounds great.

You’d be surprised how many people feel the same.
It’s all so fake.
Well, most of it.
It was lovely when my kids were little seeing them all excited & writing Christmas lists etc.
But once they grow up Christmas can be quite tedious I agree.

When I broke my arm one Christmas, the family still all came to my house, but they did all the work. The following year, my arm was fine, but they still did all the work. That carried on and became the tradition. Each brought an element of the meal early in the morning and they did all the prep together in the kitchen, children included. The grandchildren scrubbed carrots, made breadcrumbs for the bread sauce and peeled the sprouts. Then chef son directed operations while daughter kept the drinks flowing. All the adults entertained the grandchildren. After lunch and present opening, they not only washed up and loaded the dishwasher, but they cleared up the house too, with the grandchildren helping. When everyone left in the evening, my house was tidier and cleaner than when they arrived.

I see no reason why your family can’t do something similar. Children are a pain if ignored and left to their own devices, but if they are part of the food preparation and the clearing up, they have just as much fun without any of the annoyance.

Lucca

“The big day”. “Build up to Christmas” “countdown to Christmas”
Anyone else hate these ?

Absolutely me.

Same with me. I find it annoying especially with all these people rushing to get present and shops getting a good bunch of money out of it. There is a thick layer of marketing ploy in the pre-Christmas enthusiasm, but many people tend to ignore it.

You aren't alone. I'm not a big Christmas lover either, but my family loves it, so I usually get some part of their joy and happiness. In general, though, I have good memories of Christmas from my childhood, I just don't feel this excitement anymore.

“The big day”. “Build up to Christmas” “countdown to Christmas”
Anyone else hate these ?