I intensely dislike christmas.

I think a little cottage on your own sounds perfect for you and then the little gits and their parents can spend Christmas on their own

Well I dislike Christmas too but love my grandchildren, two of whom live in Australia so I have no chance of them “ruining” my house .....sadly.
Sorry but you’re making a rod for your own back. If you are only doing it because it’s expected then don’t !

It’s up to you to make the change, don’t have them if you don’t want to.

I agree with Roses &Lucca if you are feeling so unhappy about hosting Christmas this year why don't you find a nice little cottage hideaway somewhere and take all your favourite treats.

I have 2 grandsons who are spoilt little gits

Sorry Grannyscrooge but much as I love my grandchildren, that made me laugh out loud!

Back to the topic.... if Christmas is such an unpleasant chore and you hate it so much, there's a very good chance that your feelings are all too clear for those who have to spend the season with you. It would be to everyone's benefit if you did absent yourself for the Christmas period, somewhere where you could spend the time in perfect Yule-less bliss and let the family get on with enjoying themselves as they see fit. Probably not possible for this year now (Covid) but start planning for next year.
I was going to wish you a Merry Christmas but I'll leave it......

Maybe just say no this year?

Christmas can be so difficult for people for a variety of reasons.

I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable about it.

Jaxjacky

It’s up to you to make the change, don’t have them if you don’t want to.

Exactly

How old are the 'spoilt little gits'?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GrannyScrooge It sounds to me that you do not like the
Spoilt little Gits that are your grandsons, well welcome to the world children have changed over the generations and your grand-sons have been brought up by your daughter so are you calling her a bad mother?

You should cancel all Christmas and take yourself off to a little cottage until it is all over why do it if you hate it.
Leave "the little gits" at home with their parents to have their own enjoyment.

I have two young sons who are little gits

Made me laugh out loud too!

I'm glad you've got that off your chest. Maybe some of the ideas proffered on here might help?

I think your feeling ignored by your daughter, and possibly left out?

They do shove the loving family aspect down our throats this time of year dont they?
Give yourself some treats and try to hide away until you feel better

Not this year but why don’t you go away for Christmas? A nice hotel to be waited on if you can afford it or a cosy cottage. A friend and her dh used to do the latter and just buy something to eat on the way - it could be Turkey one year or salmon another depending on what they could find.

That reminds me of my nephews when they were small. My older sister would bring them to our house and they would be into everything. Open all the cupboards and get everything out, then they’d be upstairs in my and my other sister’s rooms trashing the place. We called them the brats. They were very spoilt and my older sister (their mum never seemed to tell them off) I hated them coming! ?

This is a genuine post. I can't just up and leave as I have an adult Autistic son who needs me. He finds it all soo difficult at this time of year and isolates himself away. My daughter and her husband love coming round and I put on a front to give them the best time. I have a severe pain condition, EDS and spend the season in utmost discomfort but I cover it to make sure everyone is happy. I have unstable hips, joints that dislocate and veins that burst under the skin at the slightest pressure. I was under the impression that this was a support forum for everyone, not a place to bash someone who is having a hard time. As I get older my condition becomes more painful and everything is so much harder. But not to worry I will just soldier on. thank for all the positivity.

Nobody is bashing you ! First of all you didn’t explain about your health issues in your OP so really it did just sound like a moan. However if it is causing you so much pain as well as to your son it may be time to have a serious talk to your daughter about things like how the grandsons behave in your house etc.

I feel so sad reading this post.

To refer to your own flesh and blood as a little git is grim.

Perhaps you need to think carefully before having anyone in your home this Christmas.

As a child my mother did Christmas with a big dollop of resentment.
It was awful.
You could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

I have no happy memories of a childhood Christmas.

To think of little children going through that is awful.

I'm sorry, I just feel so miserable.

I'm sorry you feel this badly Granyscrooge

Missfoodlove

I feel so sad reading this post.

To refer to your own flesh and blood as a little git is grim.

Perhaps you need to think carefully before having anyone in your home this Christmas.

As a child my mother did Christmas with a big dollop of resentment.
It was awful.
You could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

I have no happy memories of a childhood Christmas.

To think of little children going through that is awful.

That's the point, no one knows how I feel, they all choose to come here. They are not invited, my daughter loves christmas with us, she could go to her husbands parents but wants to spend it with us. They open their presents and then head straight here to spend the day. I don't let them know how I feel, I would never do that. As much as the boys are a pain, they are still children and I wouldn't ruin Christmas for them. I keep my misery to myself so everyone is happy. I paint on a happy smile and get through the day.

Any chance of a Frank and full discussion of your situation with your daughter?

I think the word 'git' is a horrible word to use about an old person, but about a child, it's unspeakable.

No one says anything to them and if we dare chastise them we feel like monsters.

You 'chastise' them?

Grannyscrooge

I'm sorry, I just feel so miserable.

I'm not surprised you feel miserable

Chronic pain is a massive burden

It saps your energy. It's exhausting.

They love to come to yours which proves you put on a good show.

You have a lot on your shoulders

Can't say anything to help really

I wish I could

My Mother did Chri5with a big dollop of resentment
I hear you Missfoodlove mone too!
But the circumstances are different for Grannyscrooge

I think the added info you gave us grannyscrooge changes how people will reply

You're not alone, grannyscrooge.
I feel much the same, and it's legal. Liking Christmas isn't compulsory, however much others do.