Ludicrous round robins. Who can be the braggiest.

From my own experience and in particular the one I outlined, Round Robins don't come from friends, more like acquaintances which rather begs the question as to why anyone would feel the need to give a full breakdown of minutiae of their family life, that surely would only be of interest to close family. Having said that and given we are going through an unprecedented pandemic, pretty much all cards received and given this year have mentioned Covid, and of course senders do up date the recipient of deteriorating health of sadly even death. Under happier normal circumstances, often holidays and travel are mentioned. In other words a brief resume of the past 12 months, without the in depth achievements of little Johnnie, is to be expected from friends.

Oh, missed the point there Lemon. You’ll need us all to start knitting 10 arm sweaters

Go easy on the rubbing Lemon, once the genie is out of the bottle..............

Bit harsh Monica. It’s just some fictional fun, taking the p out of braggers. Doesn’t mean we actually receive them.
I know you’re having a tough time at the moment and hope your husband gets home for Christmas. I hope you join in and make up something outrageous to amuse everyone, or at least read and enjoy in the spirit intended.

We have spent much of this year in renovating our French chateau ( the Loire Valley, you remember? Surrounded by fields of sunflowers).DH was doing some DIY in one of the upper bedrooms when the floor gave way and he ended up in the cellar, just missing our precious hoard of champagne! What luck...but it didn’t end there, he fell onto a large oak chest we had balanced an old mattress on, and he decided to investigate this ( it seemed to be filled with old bric a brac) but guess what! Underneath were six antique solid gold candlesticks circa 1700, a small box containing about 200 gold French coins dated 1635, solid silver chargers (4) dated 1400’s
And under all those, a really ancient looking Arabesque type oil lamp which doesn’t look much but with a good clean and rub should come up well.....the Arab writing on the side may be readable then, luckily DH can write and speak most Eastern languages well, so we will start cleaning this precious artefact after Christmas, although I shall just give it a rub with the corner of my silk shirt right now, honestly am so busy I
wish I had ten arms! Urrrrrrrhg!

Monica this is a spoof thread? come on, have a go.

I love to receive round robins from family and friends, thankfully none of them are of the braggy kind, just stories of the activities of themselves and their family. Most of these friemds and family I see, but not always regularly, and of course this year we have all seen nobody.

This year's letters was all about how people coped with COVID lockdowns, at our age,ineitably, a lot of health reports, of ingenious ways of celebrating significant birthdays when visiting and staying is forbidden and how much we miss seeing our grandchildren

Perhaps if the only round robins you get are braggy ones, you need to consider who your friends are and what it says about you.

Grandmabatty I shall fly to your Polmont mansion in my private jet, now that I know where it is, to collect my wonderful gift, thank you.

Lucca and Lauranorder platinum for my special friends ?

I get some real ones that are very like the spoofs. They always seem to do a lot of travelling, going to their house in France or, in one case, the house in Crete. One last year was so bad I contemplated not even sending her a card this year. I’m jealous, of course, and they are only describing their lives.

Looking forward to receiving a little gold leaf something, even if it is so last year.
Can’t wait for the goat to arrive, yummy. Oops, perhaps that’s not the intention.

Dearest Cousin Phillipa,
Thank you for your usual Christmas update.
When you say that your dear husband is away at her majesty’s pleasure, are you sure this means he has a job at Sandringham?
I’m sure your son is a barrister if you say so but all that coffee making you might want to check the spelling.
Are you sure that when your dear daughter says she is a Madame it means that she has married a Frenchman?
Do you really think that when the neighbours suggested Cacophony they were really suggesting a pop group name for the delightful triplets.

I'm loving these.......very entertaining! ????

Dido has recently received £20bn to help the fishing industry. She is procuring some world class fishing rods from Amazon. This after her world class efforts procuring PPE from her old school chums who own a string of dog grooming parlours so are well placed to diversify. Her elevation to the House of Lords was for her tireless service to the economy of the Cayman Islands.

Me too, can we wangle a vaccine jab Blossoming ?

The above is the one I would love to receive!!

What a whirlwind year it has been! Where to start?
DH has taken early retirement from Goldman Sachs and is presently in India running a sanctuary for homeless goats on a purely voluntary basis, in fact we are giving every family on our Christmas Card list a goat this year....expect a delivery on your doorstep any day now, and no need to thank us!
DD1 was awarded the Booker Prize and the runner up prize too for her first novel in Summer and since then has had a further six books published , and the latest one is at the top of The Times best books of the year.DD2 married a Russian Prince in September ( he’s such a dear, and very dashing!) he traces his family to the Romanovs.They are living in the Winter Palace now in St Petersburg and we have been invited over for a very grand Christmas.
DS as you know, became PM last year and will be too busy with affairs of state ( what with Covid and Brexit) to relax with us in the Winter Palace, but we have posted him and dear Carrie a goat anyway, Number Ten has a lovely back garden for it.
I have been busy too, and have knitted 5,000 masks for our local hospital, not to mention getting a gold ( a gold!) for my winning design at Chelsea ( and two air kisses from Monty Don.)
What will 2021 bring I wonder, can life really get any better?
Happy Christmas xxx

Sorry, I’d love to do this but I have to dash. I have a meeting with the WHO to co-ordinate the ‘Vaccine For Grans’ project.

Olivia has had another neck tattoo and has now had her labia pierced 6 times.
She is busy attending any protest she can and has been arrested 7 times this year, she thinks she may do another degree, this time in journalism and write about her experience as a freethinking trust fund kid.

Felix has now become “ fregan “ he felt veganism wasn’t a strong enough statement.
He is living in a squat in Kensington with some like minded ex school chums.
The squat belongs to Tarquin’s parents.
They are trying to make the squat eco friendly and carbon neutral, even the hot tub!
They are unable to spend the winter solstice in Verbiers so are putting yurts up in Sebastians grandparents garden in Richmond.
They are thinking of setting up a sourdough and Brie kitchen to support and feed restaurant deprived West Londoners over the festive season.
He’s always been such a caring boy.

He feels after another gap year he may be ready to enter the world of work.
So he is exploring the idea of touring islands in the Indian Ocean and blogging about the experience.

I cannot believe he will be 37 next year.

Gold leafed Knick knacks from Harrods? So last year sweetie, don’t you think ?

Another year has come and gone, dear friends. Where has the time gone to? I suppose working with the rich and famous has its drawbacks, as my housekeeper often tells me! Dh has semi retired from his global law practise. He handed most of it over to Amal when we hosted her, George and the twins, Alexander and Ella at our new lakeside villa near Como. How we laughed. Dd1 has been acting this year. She was spotted by Spielberg as she was modelling in LA. As most of you know, I wanted her to take up her place at Oxford but I suppose an acting career will do just now. Ds is studying hard just now as he's been asked by a certain Royal Family member to be his Head Gardener. You will recall his passionate interest in all things green since before he could walk. I will sign off now, as I'm going for a jaunt in the plane. Finally got my pilot's licence! Harrison and I share stories, although he's not as keen since he crashed. Have a lovely Christmas. Harrods are sending you all a little gold leafed something from me. ?

...................I know my place

Lucca if Sean Bean is from North Yorkshire and your OH is sexier, I have OH envy.
AGA only lunch with Liz, we spent the whole weekend at Balmoral last year.
Pant your daughter may do better in the beauty pageant with her swollen glands, I have often thought she was rather gaunt.
Come on EV, you’re on the Wirral, that’s usually good enough reason to brag. I only get away with saying that as I’m part scouse.
Terribull your children sound as though they should be sent to Brussels where there is a shortage of good negotiators.
Laughterlines your son needs rescuing from a wife who has five cars and he only gets to build the garages.
Lolo oh dear, touch of envy here for wallpaper made with essence of unicorn. How delightful.
Situpstraight not necessarily on the wrong thread, many real robiners brag about the biggest operation scar or the worst pain or a more severe twitch than anyone else.
Kate1949 the wrong caviar, oh dahling I feel your pain.

I can't find anything to brag about. This year has been awful.
DH pranged the Porsche and it was out of action for weeks. I had to get our driver to take me shopping in the Rolls. It was very inconvenient. It's far too big for most car park spaces.
With this virus thing, we've been unable to visit either of the villas. I'm beginning to forget what The Seychelles and Barbados look like.
Fortnums ran out of our usual brand of caviar. The sent a substitute. Can you imagine?
All most annoying and inconvenient.
I'm sorry this is so brief this year. I know how much you all enjoy my Christmas round robins. Still I'll hopefully have more to report next year. You'll just have to wait I'm afraid.

Sorry posted on wrong thread!!