Gransnet forums


Here we are again- unwanted gifts.

(71 Posts)
Cabbie21 Sat 26-Dec-20 09:55:42

My family handed over a bag of beautifully wrapped gifts, saying “You are so hard to buy for, you don’t need anything.””Very true, “ I said, “ You shouldn’t have bothered”.
Unwrapping the presents, there are two scented candles, which will go to the charity shop, some shortbread, which will be eaten, and chocolates, which we really need to avoid, as one of us is diabetic and the other is prediabetic. I normally take those into work, but we are working from home, so I can’t do that this year.
I have suggested before, and probably written on here for the last three years, that we would rather not be given gifts. I did not buy anything for them this year as I have not been to any shops, and did not want to get something online which was unwelcome, so I gave them money.
I need a plan for next year.

songstress60 Sat 26-Dec-20 09:59:32

I put them in the present cupboard and re-gift! You save a great deal of money that way or you can give the unwanted gifts to charity. As I stated I have saved a great deal of cash with re-gifting!

Jaxjacky Sat 26-Dec-20 10:00:36

As they seem determined, next year I’d sow the seeds early of something you would like, even if it’s vouchers toward a project. One year we asked for Argos vouchers towards a new TV, for example.

sazz1 Sat 26-Dec-20 10:04:19

I always buy my DD and DSs a tin of biscuits, bottles of spirits and wine and tin of chocolates. Also I give them money.

Nortsat Sat 26-Dec-20 10:10:51

We seem to have acquired a lot of edible stuff, chocolates, mince pies, a hamper etc. We’re not ungrateful but there’s only two of us.

I think we’ll make up a large donation for the food bank.

M0nica Sat 26-Dec-20 10:15:57

In our family, we produce Wish Lists in November. Present giving is contained to between immediate family, so those who give presents know each other well and the Wish Lists make suggestions and trigger ideas for other presnets

I had lovely presents yesterday, none will be recycled; bird food, a book I really wanted, 2 more I will really enjoy because they were bought by people who know this bookaholics taste, some sweets that indulge my weakness for white chocolate and someone sent me flowers, which were delivered on Christmas Eve.

Dibbydod Sat 26-Dec-20 10:20:33

I’m sorry but I feel your being very ungrateful, Christmas is a time for giving and gifts should be gratefully received . What’s wrong with lighting the candles , they can be very relaxing as well is giving off nice scent to your home . As for the chocolates how come you don’t mention that you are diabetic, surly you can tell your family that you are ?
Giving money is very unimaginative .
Why have you written on here for the past three years you would rather not be given any gifts , are they members on GN to read your comments ?
Be grateful for what you receive and accept with a warm heart , there are many in the world who are poor or lonely who don’t receive anything at all for Christmas .

mumofmadboys Sat 26-Dec-20 10:27:26

People who love you like to give presents. It is important to receive graciously. You could have one chocolate a day. Why not try the candles? You may find you
Iike them.

Spec1alk Sat 26-Dec-20 10:33:54

We don’t buy gifts any more, we all have what we need. We take family members out for a meal and they do the same. It’s great because the meals tend to spread out over the year. Covid disturbed the rhythm this year but we will enjoy the get togethers in 2021!

Chewbacca Sat 26-Dec-20 10:36:01

I'm always rather uncomfortable reading posts about unappreciated gifts and wonder whether the gifts that I've chosen with love and care for my loved ones are treated with similar distaste. This has been an especially hard year for us all to get out and search the shops for that ideal gift; the one that you just know is perfect for the recipient, as you yourself have pointed out. So we've mainly had to fall back on generic gifts but have given them with love just the same.

I'm sorry Cabbie but to me, you just sound ungrateful and I feel sorry for those who did their best for you but have been found wanting nevertheless. I suggest that your "plan" for next year is to ask for donations to buy a goat for an African village or maybe donations to a homeless shelter that would give it's eye teeth to have just 1/10th of what you dismiss.

Hymnbook Sat 26-Dec-20 10:53:08

I am fed up of people giving me gifts that no thought has gone into. Don't they know me at all and what l might like. I'd rather have nothing. If l buy someone a present l put a lot of thought into it. So that they receive something they will really enjoy.

fevertree Sat 26-Dec-20 11:04:10

All you have to do with a gift at the moment it is given is receive it gracefully and gratefully.

After that it's your property to do with as you wish smile

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 26-Dec-20 11:13:36

Very ungrateful of you to say that they shouldn’t have bothered!

Do a wish list, as others have said if you really don’t want anything get them to donate to charity.

MIL bought me a special 50th gift, it’s horrendous, glass and spiky, bright colours and if I fell on it I would be impaled, (maybe that was her cunning plan) however I stick a candle in it and bring it out with the Christmas decorations, I know that they took a lot of trouble to find something that they thought I would love, so whilst I dislike the gift I appreciated the effort they put into finding it.

Pittcity Sat 26-Dec-20 11:16:55

Did you watch "Call the Midwife"?
Just be grateful that you didn't get bath cubes!

Gwenisgreat1 Sat 26-Dec-20 11:21:20

Dibbydod yes, giving money is unimaginative, but sometimes you need to browse the shops to find something suitable. I bought a few bits for my family and made it up to a reasonable amount with cheques.
One friend wanted to give some money to charity I gave her a cheque, another friend I gave a voucher for a local shop, because I haven't been able to get out and about.

Nannylovesshopping Sat 26-Dec-20 11:22:20

Just saying, many lonely people would love to have a family who want to buy them a present. I think you are very lucky.

Calendargirl Sat 26-Dec-20 11:31:16


I put them in the present cupboard and re-gift! You save a great deal of money that way or you can give the unwanted gifts to charity. As I stated I have saved a great deal of cash with re-gifting!

If I thought that presents I had given were just put in a present cupboard and re-gifted, then I really wouldn’t bother!

What on earth is the point? Either the givers have absolutely no idea what the recipient would like, or the said recipient really doesn’t need anything.

Absolutely pointless.

Sunlover Sat 26-Dec-20 11:41:31

Why not light the candles?

grandtanteJE65 Sat 26-Dec-20 11:47:49

To start off with you need to tell the family firmly and kindly, that as one of you is a diabetic and the other pre-diabetic chocolates, cakes, jam, etc. are no longer gifts you can accept.

Then tackle the question of presents. If you really do not want to give or receive presents that is up to you. I find it a totally incomprehensible attitude, but I do see your point about unwanted or unsuitable gifts.

Ask for something you do want - keep a list during the year of things you would like or need, or ask for gift tokens.

25Avalon Sat 26-Dec-20 11:48:24

I had a lot of chocolates which had passed their bb date so I advertised them for free on social media. A local health centre had them for their hard working staff as a little treat.

rockgran Sat 26-Dec-20 11:55:57

Sometimes a surprise can be fun! I received a wool felting kit - not something I have ever thought of taking up - but I have really enjoyed playing with it and may take it up as a new hobby. (Lots of videos on youtube.) If not just pass it on - it is the thought that counts.

Hetty58 Sat 26-Dec-20 11:57:25

I just smile and say 'Thank you' these days. People really want to give a present.

Anything unwanted goes off to the charity shop or, if 'forbidden edibles' to the large family who live over the road.

I've explained that I get indigestion, so they're helping me out.

choughdancer Sat 26-Dec-20 11:59:10

A couple of years ago my daughters and I decided to give second hand books, preferably from a charity shop. In the past they have given me tokens for a massage and similar. This year I gave one of them a veg patch from a local business, which delivers veg plant plugs at the best time to plant. My other daughter was coming for Christmas but then went into tier 4. She didn't have time to get anything by then, so she sent flowers from a local to me small business. From when they were children, most of the contents of their Christmas stockings were charity shop bits and pieces; my GD has the same. I don't think any of them feel hard done by, and it means there is nothing wasted.

SuzannahM Sat 26-Dec-20 12:10:05

I was once regifted a silky camisole top - too big. Took it back to M&S to change and they hadn't sold it for three years - wasn't even in their stock list. I suspect it had been doing the rounds for three years.

Be careful when regifting - you never know where it started.

timetogo2016 Sat 26-Dec-20 12:15:31

I do the very same Sazz1.
And it`s very much appreciated too.