Here we are again- unwanted gifts.

On reading the OP, how do you think your family would feel after reading your post! Ok youve used a nickname to hide your identity, but you have given a full description of the gifts they gave you so your family would know who you were!
To those who hate recieving gifts they dont want, you dont know how lucky you are that someone has been thoughtful enough to buy you something!

Its a waste of time telling people not to buy gifts.I asked for my 60th birthday for doanations to Mary's Meals people said they would do as I asked but then turned up on the doorstep with presents as well.I felt awful they had spent on stuff AND given a donation so I haven't done it again.I tell my own children not to Buy for me ,my son does what I ask and he gives a donation every birthday and Christmas.Apart from last year I haven't had a gift but the one last year was homemade and came from both my children their partners and all the GC and they had all got together one day and made it.I was thrilled and in tears.That was worth all the jewellery and silk scarves in the world .

What’s wrong with bath cubes that was a great gift in the 70s! I show appreciation for every gift I get the effort has been made at least.
What’s annoying me more these days is people not even bothering sending cards a text message is not acceptable to me it’s lazy.

I don't send Christmas cards, Redhead56. Not so much because I can't be 'bothered', but because I see them as an invention designed to make money for the producers, who have overplayed their hand, IMO.

The cost of cards far exceeds the cost of producing them, and I feel that we are being taken for fools. I send birthday cards, and cards for new babies, new jobs or just 'because', if I see one that is appropriate to the recipient - but I'm not going to buy write and post dozens of them at Christmas simply because manufacturers have made it into a 'tradition'. If I care about people I'll be in touch all year round, and I don't see the point of sending cards to those I don't care about, sorry.

you could ask for a gardening gift card ...or any gift card ...

Cabbie, You are right about money gifts being very OK. Most good causes need money more than anything.
I agree some presents are awkward . A good general rule is to give small presents that won't take up a lot of room when you have to store them somewhere. My best present this year a unique second hand book chosen with knowledge of my current interest.
Useful things such as a ball of gardening string or an electric torch are easy to accept as will come in handy.

Candles and other smellies are usually not too much trouble to either use of stash away.

Think you do sound a little ungrateful, many folks will be sitting with no gifts. Really think you need to let everyone know a few months before Christmas that you would rather your gifts went to the homeless or to someone else in need, I would be so hurt if I thought someone regifted a present from me.

I'm afraid to say that I no longer buy gifts for Family or Friends, and give them a nice card with cash inside instead. This is out of necessity rather than laziness on my part, as for the last couple of years I have been self isolating and have seldom left the house, and when I have, it's been to attend an hospital or Medical appointment, not to go shopping! My family say that they actually prefare to receive a Cash gift from me to spend as they wish, and mostly put it towards their main Summer Holiday fund, or a Daytrip out to a local attraction, which the Grandchildren love to do.
Regarding the Scented Candles, my Eldest daughter bought me a lovely one for my 60th Birthday, complete with a fancy Cristal glass stand. However, I have not been able to use it, I am Asthmatic, and the fumes from any candle set me off Coughing and gasping for breath, so the candle remains unused on its stand as an ornament for the rest of my days! My daughters now ask me what I would like for my Christmas and Birthday presents, I often choose something small and affordable, and that I know will be useful, or not get wasted. This Christmas this has included some very nice Fresh fish, and a supply of Non-stick Bacofoil!

My Mil was very difficult to buy for so I always put a lot of thought into buying for her. After she died I found most of my gifts shut away in a drawer. Even things like some L'Occitane lavender soap (Which still smelt wonderful 10 years on!) Why on earth couldn't she just have washed with it?
Until her arthritis got too bad she used to knit our presents, an endless line of shapeless, overlarge garments.

I’m very fortunate that my family usually buy me gifts that I like and it demonstrates that they know my tastes. I think I’m difficult to buy for as I am allergic to perfume and most facial creams but generally they seem to find quirky gifts. As I am divorced, my children tend to buy me a few small presents so I have more to open.

This year my sister got me a lovely carton type garden ornament and a box of infusions for gin. My daughter got me some fluffy slippers ( I like to get at least one new pair every Christmas), a personalised case for my crochet hooks and a bottle of gin. My son bought a me a very unusual craft key ( can’t remember the name) but it’s when you embrace broken pottery by emphasise the join with gold filler and a bottle of flavoured gin - did I mention that I like gin, crafting and gardening! The only slightly disappointing gift was from my brother who let his partner chose it and she got me some face cream which I won’t be able to use but my daughter will love it. If he buys the gifts, it’s often something alcoholic which is much appreciated.

I know I am lucky to have such a lovely family who take the time to think of appropriate gifts. At Christmas I now buy a token present ( which I put a lot of thought into) for all the adults together with a voucher for a shop of their choice. I get one joint voucher for each couple so that they have a decent amount to buy what they want.

Craft kit, not craft key

The OP asked for ideas for next year - you could organise a Secret Santa for the adults. You buy and receive one present, set a budget and write a wish list. That way you get one decent present and only have one to buy, which you know the recipient will like. I would recommend this website
www.drawnames.co.u.k.
or if your family are resistant to this idea, you could start and write a wish list on this website
www.thingstogetme.com
and send it to them when they ask you for ideas so they get you something you actually like. Nothing to stop you putting practical things or charitable donations on the list.

I love giving presents and try really hard to buy some thing they want, always a couple of gifts and money, you need it when you're younger. I get chocolates back, which if I really shouldn't have so I share them when I meet up with friends, open a box and it's a couple each,they do the same back, the odd chocolate wont hurt it's the quantity. It us just lovely they think of me and I wouldn't dream of being anything other than happy with their gifts . I can't see how anyone can not like the scent off a candle, light it just for the odd hour. I love a card and small gift, whatever, when I was young my parents and grandparents were generous too, I daresay some of the gifts I bought were not to their liking but they never showed it. If someone kept telling me not to bother anymore I probably wouldn't but think them miserable, and I might say, ok we will will stop gifts all together if that's what you want. Just think of all these people on their own with no one to buy for. If that were me I would wrap a gift up for a neighbour or a charity.

moggie57

you could ask for a gardening gift card ...or any gift card ...

With so many big names going out of business, gift cards are a no no.

Martin Lewis advises you not to buy them, or risk missing out.

He says give hard cash!

Last year we received a gift from a neighbour which still had the Christmas tag- inside- the box from the previous donor!

So remember to remove all trace of labels/tags if re-gifting!

Another neighbour gave us a Christmas gift which we had brought back for her from our summer trip to Canada ...!

My sister

My sister also regifted the same pair of socks with a cousin for about three Christmases...until the cousin realised!

My MIL was another who put all carefully chosen gifts in the foot of her wardrobe - some of them not even unwrapped. However, her most annoying habit was to gift her 2 DGDs a highly expensive party frock each when she arrived for Dinner on Christmas Day, i.e.when all the parties had passed (and as they grew like weeds were too small by the next Christmas). As I had stopped working when I had the DDs money was exceedingly tight, so this extravagance was frustrating. Other Granny & Grandad, gave the girls one big toy and socks, nighties, gloves, etc. all useful.

Surely the whole idea of Christmas gifting is aimed at children?
Why do adults need gifts? Does gifting prove love?
It all seems more and more bonkers every year!
Looking at the comments on this thread, it seems “money gifts are unimaginative”. “People should be grateful for any gift even if it’s inappropriate, unsuitable or unwanted”
What a load of tosh!
As a sensible, mature adult, what on earth is the point of gifting something unwanted or unusable? Surely adults can safely say they don’t want a gift?
Wouldn’t it be far better to gift to a favoured charity? Or buy yourself a treat you’d actually enjoy? Or spend the whole gifting budget on the young people in the family?
As for suggesting that the diabetic recipients eat the chocolate and burn the smoky, wall staining, smelly candle they did not want .... words fail me!
Why is saying “no gifts” suggesting “ we don’t love each other” or getting useless gifts “ my family are proving they love me” ??
It’s such a waste of money and effort for supposedly mature adults.

Surely the whole idea of Christmas gifting is aimed at children?

Is it? I have never heard that before. Gift giving goes back to the beginning of time, gifts exchanged between potentates, parents and children, lovers. I love giving Christmas presents, not to many but to my nearest and dearest, no matter what their age.

You can't always get it right, even when you ask.
"Is there anything that you would like for Christmas, dear?"
"Yes please, I would love some lorry oil."

It wasn't until Boxing day that I found out it was spelt L'Oréal.

Ha ha Spangler, you've reminded me of a funny conversation I had when the local hotel receptionist was retiring. It is a 'posh' hotel, but has a public bar where dogs are allowed, so I used to go in after my dog's walk for a coke. Her lorry driver husband came in to the bar, and as she was out of earshot I asked him what good luck gift I could get her. I couldn't believe my ears when he said 'Chanel' - in response I said 'pardon' and he then said Badedas bath oil! Obviously thought I was minted until I said pardon, was so funny. In the end she liked the photo of my dog best, she always spoilt him when she was there