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Christmas

Anybody else glad it’s over?

(86 Posts)
MawBe Sat 26-Dec-20 20:58:47

How churlish that sounds
But faced with making the “best” of a Christmas alone because DGS in my bubble tested positive last Monday and both other DDs like me are in Tier 4 all my plans were up the proverbial spout. Once I had got over my initial disappointment (tears) I resolved to don my big girl pants and put on a brave face pinning my smile on.
Zooms, FaceTimes, phone calls from friends and a plated Christmas dinner from my best friend two doors down - what was not to like?
Walked the dog in the morning and greeted the other dog walkers cheerily .
But by bedtime when I had unpinned my smile I realised that behind it all was a crushing loneliness, sadness, isolation and bleakness about the future.

Glad that’s behind me - anybody else feeling it too?

lemongrove Sat 26-Dec-20 21:04:17

So sorry to hear that Mawbe and fully understand.I have two friends locally in your position, it’s been a rotten year for them with bereavement and Covid and now a lonely Christmas too.
It’s behind you now and hopefully this year we will all at least start to regain some form of normality.flowers

janeainsworth Sat 26-Dec-20 21:05:38

Maw I wasn’t alone yesterday, but I did shed a tear at the end of the day, thinking about how much I missed DS in America and DD1 in Shropshire. I don’t know when I’ll see either of them, or my DGC, again.
It occurred to me that at Christmas we reflect, and things come into sharp focus. Simultaneously, I’m very grateful for what I have in my life, and painfully aware of what I’ve lost.
But this too will pass, we will be with our loved ones again, however hard it is to bear just now. thanks

Auntieflo Sat 26-Dec-20 21:07:17

MawBe flowers

Charleygirl5 Sat 26-Dec-20 21:07:30

I have no living relatives in this country- I am on my own and I treat it like a normal day- I even hoovered upstairs!

Jaxjacky Sat 26-Dec-20 21:12:34

MawBe I’m sad you feel that way, I can’t possibly understand as I’m not on my own. I’ve had my own depths though and the only mantra that helps a weeny bit, sometimes, is the thought that tomorrow will be different and hopefully better. I wish you well, hoping your tomorrow’s may have a chink of hope, x.

SuzieHi Sat 26-Dec-20 21:13:05

Sure you won’t be alone. Most of our friends/family had their plans blown apart too - due to tiers or worse- illness / isolation/ COVID-19 infection. We were only able to see one daughter & family in the garden & only because she’s nearby. We’ve had tears from other daughter & haven’t been able to give out about half the family presents.
We have been ok but mainly because we are safe and well and grateful for it. We all need to look forward now to getting our vaccinations so we can resume a normal life.

ginny Sat 26-Dec-20 21:36:23

I think you are perfectly entitled to feel that way. I was not in my own but other than DH I was not with the people I would want to be.
I really don’t think it is just that it is Christmas but the months that have gone and the uncertainty that is still with us.
Maw you have many friends on here and we know you are strong. I doubt there are any of us that don’t have our down times however lucky we know we are.

HAZBEEN Sat 26-Dec-20 21:37:05

I feel that way most years. I never see my DD and GS at Christmas they live far away and to be honest after a few years of estrangement (although all is well now), they have their own lives which I am careful not to intrude on. My OHs family are not the welcoming sort so its usually only us two. After a pig of a year with first my DMs death and my cancer diagnosis and of course covid this has been a worse year than usual!
Mawbe my love and prayers are with you, remeber you are not alone, many on here are with you.

GagaJo Sat 26-Dec-20 21:46:25

I'm with you MawBe. Good riddance. I'm stuck overseas and have been supervising stranded children. One of whom got into a 4 way fight resulting in injuries all round.

I also Skyped grandson to watch him opening his pressies and had a cry afterwards.

rafichagran Sat 26-Dec-20 21:49:46

So sorry you feel like this.

Urmstongran Sat 26-Dec-20 21:51:57

I think this has been a rollercoaster of a year for so many of us, in varying degrees.

As you say Maw it’s done & dusted now. You can relax now & let go of the forced cheeriness. That in itself must have been tiring. I’m sure mostly you did it to reassure your family ‘I’m fine, really I am’.

Soon it will be a new year. Let’s all hope 2021 brings us peace of mind and hope for better days ahead. x

Dorsetcupcake61 Sat 26-Dec-20 21:54:00

I think I know where you are coming from MawB. I was in the same situation as you yesterday. The day passed pleasantly with phone/video calls.
At the end of the day there was a feeling of almost relief. Despite all the upbeat tv programmes wishing us a Merry Christmas or was a Christmas like no other with the underlying knowledge that no amount of tinsel could change that. Many friends commented it was fine but it felt strange. For me it wasnt about being alone. It was knowing that my eldest daughter and grandsons hadn't got their Christmas Cards and the hand made scarf I had made my grandson.Fortunately I had posted presents in November but was going to give these in person. No one minds and its certainly not the end of the world but it's a reminder of how different things are. I think the news of the vaccines,and even a potential drug that can stop covid developing are wonderful. Unfortunately for me that is slightly dampened by the news of the two new strains. I think it will take more than a couple of jabs before life is anywhere near normal. I think in all likelihood we are facing a few very difficult months. Christmas is often seen as a period of light in the darkest of winter months. This year that darkness seems a bit darker. Christmas was a bit of a distraction. It did occur to me today that I havent listened actively to any Christmas music whether pop or Carol's. If it's been on it's on but not the usual connection. Maybe I would find it stranger if people told me that they had the best Christmas ever. A time to count blessings yes,a full on celebration? Not sure about that.

Bluebellwould Sat 26-Dec-20 21:54:30

I absolutely agree with you Mawbe, this is the worst Christmas I have ever had and trying to look forward is so difficult isn’t it? It’s been two years and two weeks since my husband died and my health is in a perilous state. I can’t eat anything much and what I do eat causes pain. I’m going for an op on 9 January and to be quite honest if I die on the operating table I don’t think I’d really care. The keeping a smile on my face act is becoming even harder to do and being cheerful for my children and grandchildren is so difficult. When people moan about poor presents or there was only two of them for Christmas dinner I get so sad. I was totally on my own like others on here and I can’t even have some chocolate or drink to cheer me up. Let’s hope next year is better for us all.

BlueBelle Sat 26-Dec-20 21:55:36

I m always pleased when it’s over

Ellianne Sat 26-Dec-20 21:57:49

Sometimes we try so hard to appear cheerful and upbeat, we need to let it all out. I think you did well to last until bedtime. flowers

GeminiJen Sat 26-Dec-20 22:04:39

MawBe flowers

BlueSapphire Sat 26-Dec-20 22:04:40

Oh Maw, so sorry to hear that. We will get through all this one day I'm sure and there will be happy reunions and occasions and things to look forward to. Just a case of gritting our teeth and putting on the best face until then.

I feel so grateful that my bubble with DD is still intact and that I have company, and that they put up with me. Going home tomorrow and will miss them.

Urmstongran Sat 26-Dec-20 22:04:47

I hope your operation goes well Bluebellwould. I shall keep you in my thoughts on 9 January and hope to hear from you at some stage that you are very much better. You must be anxious right now and reassuring your family when you feel unwell must be hard going. x

Shandy57 Sat 26-Dec-20 22:05:08

I was alone yesterday, and I'm glad it's over. I didn't really feel like planning anything this year with Covid, plus I'm in a tiny rented property. I'm going to plan next Christmas really carefully and make sure it's enjoyable whether I'm with my kids or not.

Urmstongran Sat 26-Dec-20 22:06:32

You have done SO well this year BlueSapphire. It’s great to hear how much stronger you’ve been these last few weeks. x

Lucca Sat 26-Dec-20 22:10:21

BlueBelle

I m always pleased when it’s over

I heartily dislike the so called festive season. Roll on January 2.
Not seen elder son for over two years, had a real weep this evening missing him and feeling thoroughly old ugly and useless !
You’re very brave Mawbe. Best wishes to you.

Urmstongran Sat 26-Dec-20 22:16:40

Lucca ?

Calendargirl Sat 26-Dec-20 22:19:38

Like many others, glad when it’s over really. Not just this year, I’m always pleased to get back to normal, whatever ‘normal’ is at the moment.

Sar53 Sat 26-Dec-20 22:27:08

Maw so sorry to hear that you felt like that yesterday. This has been a dreadful year for so many and although I have DH, I miss my family very much.
I must admit to having a good cry yesterday morning when DH went out to deliver presents to his grandchildren. I try to keep my sadness to myself.
I sincerely hope that 2021 is a better year for everyone but especially for those of you who find yourselves alone most of the time.
flowers xx