worried about christmas

Ask them what they would like. In our family everyone is asked to circulate a list before the end of November. There is no guarantee they will get anything and certainly not every thing on the list, but we rarely stray far from it.

We do not give expensive gifts, books feature a lot, inexpensive clothing. We have a knitter in the family and she will knit things, Sweaters etc get discussed in advance. but fingerless mits and bedsocks are always well received.

Last year I had a sneaky peek in their favourite stores. So John Lewis, Fat Face and Next vouchers were bought. Eight yr old GC got a Beano subscription and 12 yr old GC a WH Smith voucher. They were all very pleased.

Meant to say 'had a look in their favourite clothes!

That's a brilliant idea!

Ask them for a list of a few things they would like (within reason price wise of course) then buy one of them, they won’t know what they have until they receive it. That way you know it is not unwanted and will make life easier for you. I have in the past given presents that I thought were a good idea but sadly the recipients didn’t! I now either don’t buy or ask for ideas.

Take along a box of expensive christmas crackers to each meal. That way everyone gets a surprise of what's in them. Alternatively, take along a scratch card for everyone at the table. I did this for my nephews one year I was at my brothers for Xmas day. If you want to give the kids something go for colouring book and pens and small selection box. Or you could offer babysitting time if the kids are small. Family cinema ticket if they older. There are many ideas x

Mine have everything they want and it has been difficult thinking of something to gift them.
I have bought my 3 ACs and their partners cinema vouchers so they can have a night out and I will babysit where necessary.
For the three younger DGCs I have sponsored an animal at there local petting farm for a year they can visit their chosen pet when they want and get a picture with it.

travelsafar

I am already starting to worry about Christmas. I dont know what to buy people or how much cash or vouchrs to give. My middle son is taking me out for Cristmas lunch as its the first year with out DH and he thought being in a happy enviroment might take the edge of things. I Am with my daughter, other two sons and the rest of the family on Boxing day so i dont have to worry about entertaining and getting lots of food shopping in. But the thought of going round the shops or trawling the internet for gifts is making me axious. Everyone seems to have everything they want and i just have no idea what to buy!!! Help, ideas please.

Why should you be worried? It is ONE DAY! If your kids are miffed by no 'big spread' or no 'big' presents then I'd worry more about them! What's Christmas about? Celebrates the birth of a prophet 2021 years ago, some follow his teaching more than others but I'm sure he didn't advocate blowing a year's budget on rubbish to get our offspring to like us! Of you want , why not make an equivalent donation of what you can afford to ' War on Want' or Sally army? They do astounding things for those in dire straits all year round but specially at Christmas, tell her kids to go whistle!

You could also help your local independent bookshop and order books from them for presents. I was really surprised that the ones I ordered were no more expensive than ordering through Amazon!

I asked my 12yr old DGD what she would like last year and she said "Can I just have £50 cash?"
Her mum was horrified and started to tell her off, but I was so pleased as it was the amount I intended to spend. So I cut in and said "Yes of course you can" She was saving up for a new laptop for school. I also gave a book and a tin of chocolates. So easy.
I give cash to DS but DD always wants presents. She writes a list and I pick from that. DC also get chocolates, biscuits and booze.

Gabrielle 56 please don't speak to Travelsafar in that way. This lady has been through a dreadful time in the recent past. Some of us know her story, you evidently don't or you wouldn't have been so harsh. Travels is grieving and I fully understand that at this first Christmas since being widowed and her personal experience of Covid, she is feeling nervous.

Meaux

I get mine to make wish lists on Amazon, then I can pick things off the list that I know they want and that is within my budget.

Yes, I do this too, makes Christmas shopping easy.

Kalu

What a lovely family you have travelsafar. I am sure the uppermost thing on their minds is to be there for you on this first anniversary?
Your family won’t be looking for gifts from you. I would be honest with AC telling them you are finding things a bit stressful this year so will buy gifts for younger children if they could give some ideas and cash for older children enclosed inside a card.

Exactly this. There is enough worry around already without worrying about what should be a happy time.

To people who ‘have everything’ I tend to buy lottery tickets and/or scratch cards, gift wrapped of course ... that way you can spend as little as you want.

Travelsafe, I know exactly how you feel, I got though it in a daze really, was with family but it felt unreal. I think if you just go to the Post Office and get One For All vouchers for everyone, everyone can choose what they want. Children under 8 or 9 I would ask their parents what gift to get and hand over the cash. You must not worry about material things they will just want you with them, we all put too much emphasis on gifts, I have been more than guilty of that, however I am not bothered if I have any as I have what I want. Changed a lot since my husband died, I go with the vouchers now. Christmas is not the same, however it’s lovely seeing everyone. Be kind to yourself and think of how many you and your husband had, in your heart they are not far away.

Something like this, obviously if they like marshmallows www.grownupmarshmallows.co.uk/

Travelsafar what a kind and considerate person you are. You have had a rough time but your thoughts are about pleasing your family.
If you have a limited budget just get a one for all gift card for your family. They are at the post office and can be spent in lots of places. They do have a time limit to be used so check that. I personally get them for my family and they are very welcome.
Don’t stress about it your family will understand just enjoy yourself at Christmas and reflect on years past with your loved ones ?

Allsorts I have just noticed you already mentioned the post office cards.

Son’s long term partner has a BD at the end of November. I requested, and she now sends me suggestions for things she would like so I can choose for birthday and Christmas. All with links as to where to buy, but most are Boots or Amazon. Also useful when siblings ask for suggestions for her and so straightforward to do. My son, her partner on the other hand leaves things until the last minute to tell me what he would like. I like to be organised and avoid last minute stress. Youngest son just says clothes, but no way would I waste time and money choosing anything for him. He leaves everything until last minute and takes his sister out on Christmas Eve to help him! Daughter is easy to buy for. We just buy for our adult children and partners these days. Dh and I buy a few token things for each other. We really don’t need anything.

I set up a board on Pinterest, call it Christmas Present Ideas and invite family,, (adult DDs) are very good at this. Everyone then posts on there what they would like, I get to choose what I buy everyone plus how much I will spend, I know they will have get what they want but there is still an element of surprise!!

MissAdventure

DeeDe

Here we go again, So much stress about so called Christmas
Just wondering who knows who this Santa Claus really is we lie to our children about, then tell them off for lying
…the man in the red outfit who likes dropping into a (fire) place
Do some research check out Dear sweet old Santa
Also Known as St Nick … old Nick
Turn the letters round Satan

Who teaches children to want and makes the lonely even lonelier and the poor even poorer and puts some parents in debt for months … Ho ho ho ! More Oh oh Oh
We’re brainwashed from babies in arms
We’re off abroad with our family .. Hee Hee Hee
Have fun !

How vile!!!
The op is bereaved, it is her first Christmas without her husband.
Shame on you.

I agree and with Ellet's post too.
It is a very unpleasant post to someone who is bereaved and was also very ill herself, Deede.
We’re off abroad with our family .. Hee Hee Hee
There are no words, Deede
Well, there are but it would get deleted.

Saint Nicholas was a Christian bishop who helped the needy. After his death, the legend of his gift-giving grew. Saint Nicholas transformed into the legendary character called Santa Claus, who brings Christmas presents to children around the world.

Our DC who are overseas sometimes order us a hamper which is always much appreciated.
Perhaps a small gift each and money or a voucher.

We really shouldn't get anxious about this -and in the meantime I have four birthdays to worry about! ?

Have a lovely time with your family travelsafar

Aldom

*Gabrielle 56* please don't speak to Travelsafar in that way. This lady has been through a dreadful time in the recent past. Some of us know her story, you evidently don't or you wouldn't have been so harsh. Travels is grieving and I fully understand that at this first Christmas since being widowed and her personal experience of Covid, she is feeling nervous.

Well said, Aldom

travelsafar I used to have recurring nightmares that it was Christmas Eve and all the shops were closed, and I hadn't finished buying presents - until one year my brother's girlfriend dumped him just before Christmas and he was so distressed he didn't give anyone anything, and the world didn't end after all.

What I'm saying is, go easy on yourself; you've had a very upsetting time, I'm sure no-one would hate you for not getting them anything, and anything you do get will be much appreciated.

Good luck

If I was to receive anything nice, I’d really appreciate Afternoon Tea anywhere. Look up several places, I recently had a chocolate afternoon tea on a 1st class steam train carriage that went about 11 miles up & down the track. Theatre tickets are also nice. Or some cinemas do Christmas gifts like a year membership etc. Of course depends on what your financial allowance is for presents. Toiletries gift sets? Although I cannot use as sensitive skin so avoid all gifts from family of toiletries, but for some are really useful.