Christmas disasters

It was our first Christmas as a married couple. 1970. Traditionally my husband and his workmates finished work at 12 on Christmas Eve and went to the pub for a festive drink. He must have shopped after that and arrived hone, tipsy, at 6pm with a pepper plant in one hand and a bottle of Advocat (sp?) in the other. ‘Merry Christmas’ he called to me, stretched his hands out to give me my presents and dropped them both on the tiled hall floor. OMG what a mess!

Soroptimum

We always cooked the turkey as per Saint Delia in a foil tent. Usually worke ok, but one year must have got the timings wrong. Called into the kitchen by DH to view what could only be described as roadkill - turkey completely collapsed with ribs sticking out. We have a turkey crown now!

I’ve always found Delia’s timings are far too long. Following her guidance I’ve had burnt cakes and pastries and over done meat. It’s not by a little either, in her cake recipe it was an hour too long. These days I trust my own timings.

A freezer full of Christmas food and New Year party food defrosted when the stupid thing give up the ghost. Cooked and cooked all day long and we took to over to the village pub where everyone enjoyed it that night.

Mine is another Christmas Day power cut with family of ten expected. Sitting in bed at 8am with my cuppa and thinking of putting the turkey in the oven in the next half hour there was a click and the lights and radio went off. Family all arriving at eleven so we sent the men to the pub while we got everything together that could be cooked on the gas hob, lighting with a match. At twelve the power came back on so instead if the long roasting in a slow oven the turkey was blasted at 200 degrees and was done by two thirty. Phone call to the pub to send the men home and our Christmas lunch was almost on time with the turkey voted the best ever.
Nowadays we always roast it in a fast oven, or on daughter in law’s huge bbq with her in charge. She’s from SA and they know what they’re doing with bbqs.

I had a house full - DD + boyfriend, DS + DiL, DiLs mother and sister. My parents were in sheltered accommodation up the road and I was to pick them up for dinner.
I got a call from Dad in the morning telling me he was a little ill. Rushed up there to find he was in a bit of state and an ambulance was called. I won't go into details as it would put you off your dinner.

He was taken into hospital as he was dehydrated. DS cooked the dinner while DD and I went to the hospital. Dad was finally released having been on a drip and insisted on drinking the Buck's Fizz and fine wine we had got in for dinner.

Forgot to say DSs MiL had just had a knee replacement so could not move. All I remember about the day is that after I had driven my parents home I got completely smashed.

Needless to say one by one everyone came down with the Norovirus - not all at once fortunately but one after the other. It is a wonder the washing machine did not break down.

Gabrielle56

Message deleted by GNHQ

What are you talking about?

spent Christmas eve in a and e one year, actually it wasn't too busy, it was not late at night and guess all the drunks were still in the pub. Fortunately arm was not broken just very sore and bruised, spent Christmas day in a sling. Still had to do the cooking, children too small to help, now ex too much of an arse to help. It was a combination of this and having the inlaws who never lifted a finger to help, which led me to go over to frozen veg, well basically anything that could be bought preprepared. If anyone wanted it fresh, they were at liberty to do it themselves. I was upset with the inlaws, as whenever we went there for christmas they got everyone else to peel and prepare everything apart from the turkey, they did none of it, and I always seemed to end up doing the washing up or at least some of it, so never lifting a finger to help peel a spud or take through their empty plates or help with washing up seemed unfair. The year I was pregnant and they came over at Christmas they had done nothing either, but I came back from work the day after boxing day to find them both helping their son peeling veg for soup making. This after they'd stayed up late insisting we kept them company, even though I'd said that I had to be up early for work the next morning. MIL's explanation for that was that she thought that I was joking about having to go to work. No apologies though
There was the time now ex deliberately broke one of our nice plates and it cost £22 to replace.

Years ago when I was catering for 18 for Christmas dinner, I took my small daughters to the supermarket (no online deliveries then!) and when they were helping to carry the bags indoors one of them dropped a big bottle of ribena which naturally smashed and splattered over everything. It took me forever to clean it up. I’m not sorry I don’t have to do that anymore.

MayBeMaw

Gabrielle56

Message deleted by GNHQ

What are you talking about?

Still wondering @gabrielle56 who that was addressed to?
And with what justification?

One year I was persuaded that it would be easier to cook the Turkey on Christmas Eve, something my friend had been doing for years. Half way through the cooking we had a power cut, we wrapped it in foil and drove it across the town to my mother in laws home where she had the oven on in readiness to revive my part cooked turkey! Never again, although I guess we could have had the power cut on Christmas Day too.

In the late 70’s after I married I used to host my parents for Xmas Dinner at my home. After dropping off my Dad at the pub I went to back to collect my Mam but got waylaid by unexpected visitors. It was only when Mam and I got into the car after the guests had left that I found it wouldn’t start. I’d forgotten to switch the headlights off and the battery had gone flat. So it was back into my parent’s house, where I made sandwiches and opened a tin of fruit salad and carnation cream which we ate after my Dad arrived back from the pub for our ‘Christmas Dinner’. Fortunately a friend was able to get the car started using jump leads later that day. We finally managed to eat our Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day.

My worst Christmas,last year when we had a fire on Christmas Eve.I managed to cook dinner for seven in a s.ow cooker and a portable.e two ring hob,amidst the wreck of my kitchen

Some years ago we had our niece with her husband and 2 small children and my SIL and BIL all coming to stay with us. On Christmas Eve we discovered that the sewer at the side of the house was blocked. Horrible visions of coping with a houseful and non-functioning loos! We phoned a plumber who had done some work for us and two men came out and unblocked us. Beyond the call of duty but it saved the day. At the end of the visit niece’s husband, who had done absolutely nothing to help in any way including looking after the children commented that ‘That was the most relaxing Christmas I have ever had!’ Strong words were spoken in his ear by SIL but he is Italian and was used to being waited on hand and foot.

There was that one time the oven caught fire with the turkey in it........

I once forgotten to serve the Brussels sprouts!!!

I didn't even realize until I found them next day still in the pan on the cooker.

For a lot of people, I know that wouldn't be a disaster - the opposite probably - but we all love them in our family. The great mystery is how come none of us even noticed there weren't any on the table

@NanaandGrampy; I giggled visualising the turkey bouncing off the dogs! My 2 would have cleaned up the turkey fat though.

I can remember my Grandad dying on Boxing Day, I was quite young. Dad had to then drive up from Cornwall to Hampshire for some reason. Mum made him turkey sandwiches which he ate in a lay by.
It put me off Christmas really, it is not my favourite time of year.

One Christmas many years ago just after we married we had a big Boxing Day party, I spent all day making platters and platters of food but too many to go into the fridge and didn’t want to put on dining table in a warm room. So DH had an idea to put up a pasting table outside the back door and with everything covered thought would be OK until guests arrived. As I put the last platter on the table the whole thing collapsed smashing all the platters.
Sooo I am afraid instead of throwing it all away we picked out the broken glass and china and put on new plates. I was terrified someone would find a piece and choke or cut mouth.

Nanaandgrampy.
Absolutely in stitches when I read your post. I read it out to OH, who in turn couldn’t compose himself. What a cracker ?

Purplepixie

One year my DH (at that time) invited all of his family and omitted to tell me until Christmas Eve! I was expecting our first at the time and could have done with going out for the day! Luckily I had lots of frozen vegetables in the freezer and the turkey was huge. My mam and his mam joined forces, rolled up their sleeves and did most of it for me. THEN the gravy was placed in a Pyrex dish and put on the sink side. Hot met cold and it exploded!!!!!!!!!!! Hell!!! It was the last straw and it is a wonder that I didnt go into labour. Luckily all the food was covered and we all gathered together and cleaned up the mess. More gravy was made. No one was hurt! THEN my MIL dropped the christmas pudding and my mam stood on it! One of our neighbours came to the rescue with a couple of christmas puddings that she had and the custard was made. We laughed about it for ages after infact I had hysterics at one point!

So funny purple pixie, especially the Christmas pudding!

I had 3 children, aged 8, 6 and 18 months, and my 4th was due at the beginning of January. She decided that she didn't want to miss Christmas, so arrived on 18th December. DH got a few days off work until I arrived back home on 21st. Instead of taking it easy I went into overdrive with the delayed Christmas preparations, and ended up having a haemorrhage. Baby and I were whipped back into hospital for a few days. Poor DH was left trying to organise the best Christmas he could manage by himself, for the children, and we ate our Christmas dinner on New Year's Day.
The kids got their presents, and their choice of food on Christmas Day (Fish fingers, chips and beans) and visited the baby and me in the afternoon.
Not a Christmas that we easily forgot!

NanaandGrampy

This brings back memories lol

Early on in our marriage when I was still a novice in the turkey dept , I cooked a huge turkey for a family gathering. I got the tin out of the oven and had the 'inspired' idea of shoving a rolling pin inside to lift it out of the pan and drain off any juices.

The initial insertion went swimmingly, I tilted the turkey and then turned to slide the turkey off onto a platter. I obviously turned too fast because the slippery little sucker flew off my rolling pin and - to the the Dam Busters tune in my head -bounced down the length of the kitchen like a bouncing bomb!! It hit one dog on the way , careered off the other and hit the radiator as if we were under nuclear attack!!

Both dogs were too stunned by the assault to tear after it so fortunately I got it before them.

There was nothing for it , with guests imminent but to rinse it off under the tap and hope for the best !!

Took weeks to clear up every scrap of turkey fat that had decorated the kitchen and I have to say every time someone said - the turkeys lovely and moist I grinned !!

??????????????

It wasn’t really a disaster but we had little money when the kids were young and always did the Boxing Day sales, where I promptly burst my waters while in a homewares store picking up boxes of ceramic tiles to do up our kitchen. ? never to be forgotten.

@maybemaw. She was getting at you for getting your father into a nursing home . Without knowing any circumstances she is being very cheeky casting aspersions on your care of your dad . ?

Thisismyname1953

@maybemaw. She was getting at you for getting your father into a nursing home . Without knowing any circumstances she is being very cheeky casting aspersions on your care of your dad . ?

Thank you Thisismyname
Blimey - what a blankety blank cheek to make assumptions about my father’s choices about staying in his home town in his beloved Scotland in the wee town where he had friends, where his brother and sister-in-law lived and his family have been for over 200 years. Of course I would rather have had him live with us, but with an incurably ill husband unable to work and a full time teaching job (as somebody had to pay the mortgage), it would not have been easy. And don’t think Gabriellewhatsit that we did not try to get him to move south when Mum died, but he refused point blank and with hindsight, it woukd have broken his heart.
As for “impressing” anybody by hosting my widowed MIL and DH’s family over Christmas , what is she on about? I am somewhat speechless at the effrontery at making judgements about something that poster knows bu**er all about. ??????