Christmas disasters

NanaandGrampy I laughed so much at your post I could hardly read it aloud to OH. It was imagining the stunned dogs, both clumped with a flying turkey, that did it for me! We had a mini disaster one year when the cat managed to get up onto the kitchen work surface - never happened before - and under the foil, to chew one of the legs of the cooked turkey that was awaiting carving. Unfortunately I wasn't organised enough to have another turkey cooked and ready, so I had to hastily trim the offending area and hand it over to OH to carve when he breezed into the kitchen. I have never mentioned this ghastly event until now...

A certain poster is really winding me up atm MaybeMaw. She shoots flames at anyone she can target. Her comment on this thread regarding care over Christmas is completely unforgivable. I don’t generally participate much on forums but I commented on the thread about online shopping today and cleaning after a comment left by the same person.

I’m afraid Gabrielle ‘s sour comments have risked spoiling this thread- I was enjoying all the “disaster stories” too!
However, nothing daunted…..
So, long long ago on a distant galaxy my mother was once given a turkey by farming friends. What was not to like?
Cookers were smaller in those days - well our old gas one certainly was- and the bliddy bird would not fit into the oven!
By the time she realised, it was Christmas morning and no chance of nipping out for sausages or a haggis supper so she decided to cut the wings and legs off and somehow wedged it in.
Disaster averted.
I suppose she could be said to have invented the turkey crown?

Not a culinary disaster and didn’t happen to me personally.
The year we were married we were flying out to Australia at new year to live, supposedly forever, and decided to treat both sets of parents to Christmas dinner at a nice restaurant.
It was very well heated and mother in law sat in the winter sunshine with her back to the patio door. A small rather round woman on spindly legs.
At her request one of the doors was opened a tad. As she finished her dinner she leaned so far back in her chair she ended up falling back through the open door with legs in the air.
Just as well she wasn’t hurt because I’m afraid Orlin and I found it very funny and couldn’t control ourselves.

Usually help the Christmas dinner preps with a few glasses of Cherry brandy. Yes, well jolly and never problems with dinner. That is until one year, for some reason, I remained totally sober and dropped the turkey. What a mess but a lesson I learned - never cook the Christmas dinner unless at least a little tipsy.

Not exactly a culinary disaster either, but one year we arrived late at the ferry port in France on Christmas Eve due to snow. We were just in time to see the boat sailing off to Portsmouth. The problem was we had all the wine in the car for that evening's party! A few phone calls later and a changed route plan, we managed to arrive in London a bit late to the party but with the necessary booze.

MayBeMaw I have absolutely loved this post, and hilarious mishap comments from people. It has made my day.

My only Xmas mishap was when I set the temperature dial on the oven for dinner and forgot about turning the switch to 'on'. So when I went to put the turkey in the oven - no heat! I thought the oven was broken until DH pointed out to me I'd forgotten to switch the blasted oven on.

Thanks so much for this thread Maw, and for everybody relating their disasters. I‘ve been in stitches with some of them. I’m sorry a certain poster saw fit to say something nasty (as per). Don’t let her upset you.