A party etiquette question, in these strange times!

Thank you for coming back to us Nannarose. Sounds as though you are happy with your wise decision and have maintained happy neighbourly harmony as well.

I’m a little concerned by some of the views expressed on here. Currently it’s is permitted to have parties but also very understandable that some invited guests would rather not go. It’s a free choice as we’re not under any restrictions at present. To be kind and gracious to your neighbours and to offer to contribute food isn’t “condoning” their decision to have a party. It’s showing polite appreciation for the invitation.

I'm a bit late to the thread Nannarose but FWIW I think you've done the right thing by refusing the invitation but still providing the food you'd said you would.

As you say it's a gesture of friendship.

It's moot anyway Doodledog, as we donate already to alleviate food poverty (and thank you!)
I know many of us don't like it when someone drifts off, so I am going to let you know my decision. I have welcomed all comments, and don't disagree with any of you.
We have said that we won't go, and that has been graciously received. We offered the rolls, in a gesture of friendship and they have been accepted. I have pointed out that they can be frozen.
I carefully considered the idea that this may be encouraging mixing, but this is going ahead anyway, and the gesture of friendship trumped the 'mixed message'.
Again my thanks for the thoughtful way this has been discussed.

Where would anyone go to donate home made sausage rolls to people who are struggling?

I don't think that food banks take perishable food (ours certify doesn't), and I'd have thought that most charities would want to see hygiene certificates and so on before taking in food that has been prepared in someone's kitchen. Of course I am not implying that Nannarose's standards are questionable, but precautions have to be taken.

I'm with Ixion on this and would either pop along or telephone to clear up the situation with my neighbour. Would only take a couple of minutes and both of you would have comfortable c!arity. Good luck with your decision.

Food not good

If not going wouldn’t send good. Buffet and finger food a breeding ground for virus’s. Don’t think anyone would be serving it.

Thank you all!
A point I had not considered was 'appearing to be condoning', or 'mixed message'; although I had wondered about Scribbles point about 'veggies'.
I was also amused by Teacheranne's comment on being 'a feeder'; although not veggie myself, I have been around them all of my life, so am often the person who makes veggie stuff.
Although I take your point, Bluebelle, we already make contributions to feed people locally, so I regard this 'open house' as standing on its own.
I appreciate everyone responding exactly to what I asked, and your comments will inform the decision I'm going to make later today.

You say there is always plenty of food so if you love cooking and want to be benevolent why not make the food for someone who is struggling
Why add more to those that have plenty

If I'd decided not to go, I would politely decline the offer. No need to give a reason, just simply say that you're sorry you won't be able to make it, and I wouldn't be supplying food either. If it were my party, I certainly wouldn't expect anyone not attending to supply food.

I wouldn't go - or take the rolls - as it's just plainly irresponsible behaviour on their part. We're in the middle of a pandemic.
There's no need for any explanation or apology from you.

LauraNorderr

I think it would be a kind gesture to make the rolls anyway. Probably not as many as usual as I imagine lots of others will feel as you do. I would let them know you won’t be going and drop off the rolls early evening wishing them well.

Exactly what I would do! I have a reputation with my friends as a “feeder” so often take tasty treats around to friends, my cream meringues are in demand at this time of year! I enjoy baking, it’s one thing I can do sitting down so would offer to make my usual contribution and give my apologies for not joining them.

If you have already agreed to dropping off the rolls this year, I would do so say Merry Christmas and leave.

If you have not agreed, then you are not obligated to drop off anything, send along best wishes and stay home.

I’d make and drop off the rolls myself. They are probably expecting them. However I might make fewer than usual as there will probably be others who feel as you do and won’t go. I’d explain beforehand so they don’t expect you. They may even say don’t worry about the rolls as fewer people than usual are going.

your instincts are right and I am astonished how people will carry on as if normal unless it is forbidden. Madness. I think to provide the veg sausage rolls would be a rather mixed message. Just send your sympathies that Omricon has come at this time and decline, thanking them profusely and genuinely for their proffered hospitality and hope they will understand. Hopefully, they will. For all our sakes.

Take the rolls if you feel uncomfortable not doing so. Drop them at the door and make a hasty retreat. Irresponsible of your neighbours to have open house !! They may be very nice people and you may like them but they are not thinking of other people, you are wise not to go.

I would tell them a few days before, if possible, explain you're just not risking big groups just now. I'd say I'm still happy to provide some veggie rolls if you need them? Then they have the chance to get extra supplies themselves, and hope they don't accept your offer.

If I invited someone to a function and they declined the invite I would not expect them to contribute to the food for the event.

Yes, I'd drop the rolls off and leave then they won't think that you'd already pre-arranged backing out so decided not to provide food as well. If you get my meaning.

Me too.

If I had accepted an invitation and offered a contribution I would honour the offer if I had decided to pull out. I would take the rolls at a time when there would be few people there, drop them off and go home, with a truthful (but not accusatory) explanation of why I didn't feel I could attend.

LauraNorderr

I think it would be a kind gesture to make the rolls anyway. Probably not as many as usual as I imagine lots of others will feel as you do. I would let them know you won’t be going and drop off the rolls early evening wishing them well.

I agree with this.

If I wasn’t going I wouldn’t be making them food but up to you we re all different

I bet you won't be the only ones not attending so the rolls won't be necessary.

I would let them know in advance by popping round and saying that you are sorry, but you don't feel comfortable attending in the current climate, but that you will continue to provide your sausages rolls and drop them round in advance.