Treating myself. Living alone

Second Christmas for me. The worst time of the year for me because he absolutely adored Christmas. It was his time. I’m resigned to it. Last year I didn’t even want to put up a tree, but GS persuaded me that “Grandad would be sad if I didn’t!” I was a month into having had my hip replaced which didn’t help, so I couldn’t be left alone even though I wanted to. This year I have agreed to go to DD’s on Christmas Day and stay over, and DS and his family will come to me on Boxing Day. None of it is what I want, but they are wonderful people and don’t deserve for me to be churlish with them, no matter how I feel.

oh Greyduster... you and I are so different. I wish my family would visit me more, but then I guess I have been a little too self reliant in the first years... this is year 5 for me.

I can do a few decorations, but.. like so many people and not all widows/widowers,, will be glad when it is over.

I have been invited for Christmas Dinner to ds and dil, so I should be grateful, and I am.. but so many days.....

I am debating about whether I should bother with decorations, or not. Most of me is minded not to bother but the christmas season needs that bit of cheer and the pretty decorations. I had started to collect beautiful things, georg jensen and alessi and my husband had made a couple

It is easier for me as I have a wooden scandi tree which is perfect for the beautiful hanging things. I don`t even have to go into the loft, I placed everything carefully in boxes on two shelves in my garage. I do have to psyche myself to set everything up and perhaps that will happen nearer to the day

Maybe getting through my lakrids advent calendar will motivate me

I didn`t have any warning about becoming a widow. Out he went on his bike on one of his usual rides. A policeman came to the door, there was an air ambulance. It has taken a lot of will power to overcome the trauma but I live with the thought that I can cope

karmalady Your decorations sound beautiful - if they have given you pleasure in the past, maybe try putting some up and see how you feel. It helps that you have made sure they are easily accessible and they will make your home cosier and welcoming. I'm so very sorry you lost your husband so suddenly - you very definitely deserve special treats for the festive time.

Food is very important and needs a bit of thought. It is all too easy to grab some cheese and biscuits instead of a proper meal.

I will be getting an organic veg box, getting such a box makes sure that I eat properly every single day and I have been adding to it for the christmas period

I will be getting cream and a small stuffed turkey breast or stuffed leg. I was in marks today and they have the nicest looking christmas dinner for one, which can be frozen but not for me, I need to be `hands on`

I have the organic mincemat and an air fryer and in a couple of weeks will make small mince pies, which I freeze raw and they bake very nicely in the air fryer. I bought a small tefal air fryer so anything in that has to be small. I use egg tart moulds from amazon, 12 in a pack for £11. They are 7cm in diameter. Very good quality

One year I made a 6" christmas cake but I have decided to be more mindful about what I eat these days, it took me a very long time to get to the weight I am now

No crisps as they are too tempting but I did get some roasted nuts and a few biscuits and a limited amount of chocolate. I have ordered a small cheese platter because I can freeze the hard cheeses in chunks, to match that I have some nice bath olivers.

I am not fussed on alcohol but have bought a lovely jar of cherries in kirsch. Not forgetting the croissants, which I have already made and frozen and the lovely tiny pots of tip tree jams in my `after christmas` second advent calendar. Smoked salmon is in the freezer, I portioned it first and today I got a small gammon from marks, in the freezer now, to cook for christmas.

Thank you Jackaranda