Gransnet forums

Christmas

Mother won't make a effort

(92 Posts)
Misty007 Fri 22-Nov-24 15:02:04

Every year I do christmas dinner for us all and my mum's boyfriend comes with her. Do you think it's unreasonable to be annoyed by this his very tight with his money and I find it so rude he never brings anything even though his getting a 3 course lux christmas meal plus drinks. Everything we offer him he never turns down. I feel his sponging from us. Also my mum's changed and won't be bothered to shop for gifts says you get it and I'll give you the money. This has been going on for 5 years. I'm 57 and my mum's a very young 84

Allira Sun 01-Dec-24 19:47:58

it is now so ancient that people are giving it to charity shops

I saw some in the window of a local charity as we drove past and was tempted to go back and buy it but thought, no, you have too much stuff, do not buy.
I wish I had.

Primrose53 Sun 01-Dec-24 19:29:43

TillyTrotter

Primrose I love your Royal Worcester “Evesham” pattern serving dishes.

Mostly I cook for adult children and I ask them to come to the kitchen and take what they want from the table there.
That way the dining room table is uncluttered when we all sit down at it to eat.

Thanks. When I was still at school I worked weekends and holidays in a lovely gift shop. We sold masses of Royal Worcester in various patterns. It arrived in big tea crates and I had to unpack it and price it all up.

I loved it so much that I promised myself that I would have some RW one day. It was too expensive for us when we were young but it is now so ancient that people are giving it to charity shops ….. so I have bought quite a bit and I believe most of it has been on dressers as it’s perfect.

TillyTrotter Sun 01-Dec-24 15:35:51

Primrose I love your Royal Worcester “Evesham” pattern serving dishes.

Mostly I cook for adult children and I ask them to come to the kitchen and take what they want from the table there.
That way the dining room table is uncluttered when we all sit down at it to eat.

Allira Tue 26-Nov-24 10:51:35

Fish knives and forks plus servers anyone?
They're on the decluttering pile.

Allira Tue 26-Nov-24 10:50:39

00opsidia

I have a Colclough set but it's always been ornamental (doesn't leave the cabinet) Then inherited a Royal Doulton set which I love using because of the design and because I'd always had my eye on it, not because I'm like Hyacinth haha.

These days I rarely get the silver plated cutlery out because it's a faff. Same goes for the fancy butter knives I inherited. Got them out of the box once, but they have bone handles and can't go in the dishwasher.

Silver plated cutlery mustn't go in the dishwasher either. DH decided he liked the forks from our silver-plated wedding cutlery better than the everyday Viners ones - we put them in the dishwasher and the silver is coming off.

Allira Tue 26-Nov-24 10:48:21

We've no others to do wash up. No Downton Abbey here.
If family come over, don't they help?
I don't expect ours to but they do.

Spode dishes are great. I call one the Sprout Dish!

I'm not being posh when I say I put serving dishes on the table. Firstly, it's easier, secondly, I don't think it's up to me how much people want to eat.

00opsidia Tue 26-Nov-24 00:49:10

Allira

00opsidia

I am laughing up my sleeve since discovering that
Hyacinth Bucket's china pattern, described as "Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles", is a pattern called "Braganza" and was manufactured by The Colclough China Company until 1992.

i.pinimg.com/736x/8e/1a/13/8e1a132a469c969250ddba318974525e.jpg

I wouldn't want to put actual Royal Doulton in the dishwasher though.

I have a Colclough teaset, different pattern, which was a wedding present 😀

It came out every year on Christmas Day - but not for years now.

I agree with you about the crystal glasses too. I love the sound they make. So much nicer than cheap glasses.

My health has been so bad this year that I just decided not to save anything "for best". Not saying I'd eat off a RD plate every day, but if I thought of it and felt like it, I would, just because I wanted to grin I doubt those left behind me will value the china or glassware, so it may as well be enjoyed.

I like dressing up too.

00opsidia Mon 25-Nov-24 23:59:25

I have a Colclough set but it's always been ornamental (doesn't leave the cabinet) Then inherited a Royal Doulton set which I love using because of the design and because I'd always had my eye on it, not because I'm like Hyacinth haha.

These days I rarely get the silver plated cutlery out because it's a faff. Same goes for the fancy butter knives I inherited. Got them out of the box once, but they have bone handles and can't go in the dishwasher.

Norah Mon 25-Nov-24 13:41:16

Primrose53

I have crystal champagne flutes which were a gift from a former boss and I wash those by hand. My serving dishes are too big for the dishwasher. I also have some beautiful glass dessert bowls with different coloured bases and I hand wash those.

Others, of course, do all this while I have my feet up.

We've no others to do wash up. No Downton Abbey here.

Crystal, cutlery, items too large for the dishwasher - lots of hand wash. Christmas crockery is just Spode - all dishwasher safe.

I love to cook, dislike wash up.

Soon January will arrive.

Smileless2012 Mon 25-Nov-24 11:58:46

What a lovely story Primrose smile.

Primrose53 Mon 25-Nov-24 11:53:38

An elderly Aunt gave me a 1940s tea and dinner set in white, red and gold. I had it in the loft for years. Cleared the loft and decided to sell it.

A lovely young hairdresser bought it and was close to tears when she saw it. She said she always vowed to have a big table and beautiful china at Christmas when she grew up because as a child her family just ate off trays on their knees. I knocked a bit more money off it and she went away absolutely thrilled.

Smileless2012 Mon 25-Nov-24 11:45:22

We have cutlery for 'best' which doesn't go in the DW along with expensive glasses.

I have a Christmas dinner set; plates, bowls and sauce boats which have to be washed by hand because of the decoration but it's worth it.

Primrose53 Mon 25-Nov-24 11:45:05

Allira

00opsidia

I am laughing up my sleeve since discovering that
Hyacinth Bucket's china pattern, described as "Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles", is a pattern called "Braganza" and was manufactured by The Colclough China Company until 1992.

i.pinimg.com/736x/8e/1a/13/8e1a132a469c969250ddba318974525e.jpg

I wouldn't want to put actual Royal Doulton in the dishwasher though.

I have a Colclough teaset, different pattern, which was a wedding present 😀

It came out every year on Christmas Day - but not for years now.

colclough did some beautiful patterns. I have been looking around as I plan to do an afternoon tea in the Spring for a couple of old schoolfriends. I don’t want mismatched so I am buying Royal Stafford Fragrance bits and pieces. Have tea cups, saucers and side plates and cream jug so far. It’s good fun looking in charity shops and markets. I have a beautiful hand embroidered table cloth given to me by a very elderly lady before she died. Crisp white with spring flowers.

Allira Mon 25-Nov-24 11:41:08

Primrose53

I have crystal champagne flutes which were a gift from a former boss and I wash those by hand. My serving dishes are too big for the dishwasher. I also have some beautiful glass dessert bowls with different coloured bases and I hand wash those.

Others, of course, do all this while I have my feet up.

We decided it was pointless keeping lovely crystal glasses for best and drinking out of cheapie glasses, so we're using them.

As they get broken, so there will be fewer to wash. 🙂

Primrose53 Mon 25-Nov-24 11:38:48

I have crystal champagne flutes which were a gift from a former boss and I wash those by hand. My serving dishes are too big for the dishwasher. I also have some beautiful glass dessert bowls with different coloured bases and I hand wash those.

Others, of course, do all this while I have my feet up.

Allira Mon 25-Nov-24 11:09:08

00opsidia

I am laughing up my sleeve since discovering that
Hyacinth Bucket's china pattern, described as "Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles", is a pattern called "Braganza" and was manufactured by The Colclough China Company until 1992.

i.pinimg.com/736x/8e/1a/13/8e1a132a469c969250ddba318974525e.jpg

I wouldn't want to put actual Royal Doulton in the dishwasher though.

I have a Colclough teaset, different pattern, which was a wedding present 😀

It came out every year on Christmas Day - but not for years now.

00opsidia Sun 24-Nov-24 23:29:29

I am laughing up my sleeve since discovering that
Hyacinth Bucket's china pattern, described as "Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles", is a pattern called "Braganza" and was manufactured by The Colclough China Company until 1992.

i.pinimg.com/736x/8e/1a/13/8e1a132a469c969250ddba318974525e.jpg

I wouldn't want to put actual Royal Doulton in the dishwasher though.

Allira Sun 24-Nov-24 14:13:01

Norah

Allira

Each to their own.

We have a dishwasher.

We've a dishwasher, of course, but many serving bowls and platters don't fit in dishwashers. A few extra pieces do fit well, along with 16-20 plates, sauce dishes, pudding plates...

Our table(s) are large, but too cluttered with many people. The numbers are daunting, I suppose others don't have our size family.

Soon enough lovely January will arrive.

If family are over, we've also got DIL 😁
Dishwasher Extraordinaire.

Norah Sun 24-Nov-24 14:05:51

Allira

Each to their own.

We have a dishwasher.

We've a dishwasher, of course, but many serving bowls and platters don't fit in dishwashers. A few extra pieces do fit well, along with 16-20 plates, sauce dishes, pudding plates...

Our table(s) are large, but too cluttered with many people. The numbers are daunting, I suppose others don't have our size family.

Soon enough lovely January will arrive.

Allira Sun 24-Nov-24 13:54:42

Each to their own.

We have a dishwasher.

Norah Sun 24-Nov-24 13:47:24

Allira

MissAdventure

I don't do anything that involves extra work.
No cauliflower cheese, no warm plates, just a roast as I'd usually do one, really.

I don't even cut a cross in the sprouts.

Plating it up is more work than putting it in dishes.

Each to their own. Plating is easy, less food waste, less to wash, less clutter on the table. We plate every meal of the year, why not Christmas?

We've serving bowls and platters for the extras.

Caleo Sun 24-Nov-24 12:29:56

Send them both to me for Xmas dinner. They can share my roll with fried egg and my complete disdain for Xmas gifts.

Allira Sun 24-Nov-24 12:27:38

I've also got some Christmas serving dishes (Spode).

Quite naff but fun.

Allira Sun 24-Nov-24 12:25:15

here is a selection of my serving dishes which we use most days. Ancient Royal Worcester, Emma Bridgewater and a rare ceramic Le Creuset. I also have open dishes. 😉

And very nice they are too, Primrose!

I was going to buy a Royal Worcester patterned dinner service, having never had a 'wedding dinner service' but DH said he preferred the plainer platinum one.
I do have a few bits of Royal Worcester and Portmeirion though. 🙂

Allira Sun 24-Nov-24 12:18:45

NotSpaghetti

Allira I don't serve up whole meals either - but someone has to "carve the bird" or slice the nut roast, surely?
Most people help themselves to (say) peas...

DS!