First Christmas completely alone

Sorry to hear of your situation Pastels. Like others, I think you should find a way to give yourself a special day. Plan some nice food, buy yourself something, perhaps a little extravagant for the day and remind yourself of all the people panicking about seeing family they don't like, worrying about family relationships, exhausted and worried about money.
Last year, we didn't see any of our three on Christmas day. My husband had just started radiotherapy and slept until 9am. I was up at 7 am with the cat feeling upset and remembering all those Christmas mornings of shreiks and laughter and children thundering about since dawn. I felt really sad and I suddenly thought of my own childhood and my Irish mother and so I found some Irish radio and listened to the early morning programme filled with familiar accents and the warmth and kindness of Irish people and I felt so comforted. So feel sad but it's just a day and it will pass.
I'm sure someone will correct me but I move between thinking younger people are incredibly busy and stressed and also thinking that they are a selfish generation more interested in themselves than others. They have pretty good lives despite how much whingeing they do and they will have their turn at being ignored.
I wish you a very good Christmas, Pastel and I hope it turns out better than you can imagine at the moment.

Oh Pastel that’s thoughtless and very mean not to talk it over with you which hurts more because it’s not your choice and you had no say or preparation for it and that’s shixxy of both of them to be honest

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with either of them going away but to not make any contribution or even thought to your Christmas is nasty So I can only presume they don’t communicate much with each other.

I can imagine how you feel and send a 🤗

I hope you find it not too hard after all Pastel.
I have been a widow for 4 years now and either DD or DS have had me over for the day until this year when I rashly decided to host.
I am now rather dreading it but as I am determined to downsize this coming year I thought it would be the last chance to have Christmas in the family home.
I fear it will just be too full of sad memories for us all! Not forgetting the work involved.

Definitely come on to gransnet and try not to be too sad.

Yes, also widowed, I have had a few Christmas days on my own when AC were abroad or unable to visit/host. On one occasion I decided to go for a long walk and planned a nice meal for later. So after breakfast I took a long walk in the beautiful Peak District. I sat on a wall to eat sandwiches and a young woman came along and asked to join me. We had an interesting chat and continued on our way.
Once home, I enjoyed a hot bath, a G'n'T and a big Christmas dinner.
Another year I went away (HF Holidays) and another time I invited a couple of friends whose AC were busy working. So I suggest you plan a special day for yourself .

I’m so sorry to read this, Pastel. I know what it’s like to have to rebuild your life. With me it wasn’t bereavement but divorce and with it I lost the only family I had apart from our children and most of our shared friends when my husband left us. I’m wondering if, like me, your children look on you as very strong and independent and don’t really understand that a lot of it is a facade? I’m sure that lots of us will be popping in and out of gransnet over Christmas so if you want to chat there will be people around x

Pastel - I am so very sorry for you. Children sometimes are extremely thoughtless. Did you spend the last 8 chritmases with one of them? I know lots of families who go away for Xmas. Perhaps the respective in-laws have paid for these trips and which I’m sure your sons would have gladly accepted, without giving it a second thought. But they could have told you about it. I am on my own as well and recently was not invited to attend my GCs Xmas concerts. I know they were allowed 3 tickets. So ds.i.l ‘s mother was invited. I have 2 ds.i.l. and neither of them asked me.
My issue is nothing compared to yours. I would hate being alone on Xmas Day. Do you think one of your neighbours will invite you if they knew you were going to be on your own? I know my neighbours would . Try to cheer up and treat yourself

I live in a small village in Southern England

I'm not in the same situation as my dh is still with me, but we have felt abandoned in favour of in-laws on quite a few family occasions. It's been difficult, to say the least.
I particularly felt pushed out as if we did not matter and even only invited last minute to make the numbers up.
My advice buy things or make things you love have your home cosy put some silly films on. It's what I would do if on my own and of course there is always here. There are lots of grans nans and I'm sure grandads here on their own who will love to chat about their day with you.
The tears are natural don't worry about them they will dry up and the day might surprise you. Make the best of it in the comfort of your own home best wishes to you ✨️

Pastel I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I have been on my own for around the same time and I have no family at all.

I treat it like a normal day, but I have nice food and a bottle of wine for when I dine. I do what I want, and if I see something on TV that interests me at 10 a.m., I will watch it.

A friend who lives about 300 miles away usually rings, she is in a similar position.

It is just another day and will soon be over.

Which part of the country do you live?

Could you offer to help at a community Xmas day event?
I did it one year for a homelessness charity.
There are other things arranged by salvation army and also some pubs.
It's a way of avoiding being alone or being the poor relation at someone else's house.
Try to do something anything completely different. Keep occupied.
I wish you the very best. Take care.