It's all getting a bit much...

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If you haven’t sent cards this year, or forgotten someone’s gift.
If you don’t have matching pyjamas or a festive family photograph.
It’s okay.

If you can’t find the energy to be merry and bright
or your tree isn’t even decorated yet
That’s really just fine.

If you don’t feel like watching your favourite Christmas movies, or honouring the traditions that you normally always do
Don’t sweat it, my friend.

This year has been hard, for many
Really hard.

If you can’t see a way to celebrating like you have in the past, don’t worry.
Just hang on in there, finding any joy you can in any little way.

Just make it through till next year.
One day at a time.

We need you.

Hang on in there.

You are loved.

~ Donna Ashworth from 'Wild Hope' ~ Donna Ashworth

Christmas emotions are so hard to handle for many. Family members let you down when you have supported them all year. I have acquaintances who I see in the park and they always hug me when we meet!

I am very lucky to have a few loyal friends who I can ring to offload on.

Yesterday was intense but today has started very calm so it is getting my living room back after a few days of chaos and no shopping.

I understand it is common to have a 'dip' day during Advent when it seems everything is falling apart. It really isn't. So having had a serious dip yesterday I'm climbing out of the hole slowly and just prioritising what is most important now, and one of those things is my sanity!

Only a week to go now and hope all will be well for everyone. Thanks for being so understanding.

Yes it is getting a bit much. The television is full of Christmas - a lot of it rubbish - and the adverts drive me nuts. The expectations are probably not real but I feel I have to order food, wrap gifts [that maybe people don't want] and send out cards. Like others I've not been 100% and I'm tired of it all - though I admit I've enjoyed attending 2 carol singing sessions which were fun. So really it ain't all bad but I look forward to the finish line - and then here comes the birthdays!!!

I know how you feel KP - The run-up to Christmas is just so stressful. Aches and pains all over. Trying to please everyone. D.I.l. has bought tickets for me for the Panto, and then dinner at one of these dress-up places. She means well but I just have no energy and it’s a long walk from the Theatre to the eatery .I love to spend time with the little ones, but can I just have them here at home for a few hours please 😂

I had a good cry reading all the above comments. It will be just me and my friend here for Christmas Day. I just can't do what I used to do, so have ordered two Christmas dinners from Wiltshire Farm Foods. Even the large size isn't very big but I will add some sprouts and other veg to it. My friend won't mind as he's very easygoing. I only wish I felt well enough to make more of an effort.

Sending you big hugs! I’m usually like you, but weirdly this year I’m ok. Gifts are done. I keep to a strict budget.
Don’t do decorations because I’m not at home.
Go for a walk, do something ‘nice’ for you, yourself.
I recently treated myself to flowers.
Go outside and scream!!!!!
Take care and call Samaritans if necessary or go to a church and listen to a Carol concert.
Sending big hugs and remember it’s just 1 day -

Is it sad syndrome? I suffered from that but now just take a vit D everyday just a cheap one from Tesco. I have felt so much better this year. Lack of sunlight is a depressant

Harris27

Have the Christmas you want and family demands push them back saying you can’t cope with it. Make sure you put yourself first and do as little or as much as you want. Prioritise.

Absolutely, do what you want not what is expected. Christmas is one or two days, all this hype is making so many people ill, it is ridiculous. I don't send Christmas card, I don't decorate, but I do celebrate with and without people. I do exactly what I want to do and love what I do. Take a deep breath and think of you, what you want to do and what you can manage in a relaxed manor. Do not stress, it is not doing you nor anyone else any good. Ask yourself will I still stress over this on 27th December, if not then forget it.,

cards, manner, sorry

Lists! I always start my lists with 2 or 3 things I've already done, just ticking those off gives me a boost!

Also, set a small goal. Or, give yourself a 30 minute time limit to achieve something in a room, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you can make a start and see a difference at the end if 30 mins.

My mother died in September I’m trying to do decorations but my heart isn’t it. I’ve done lists and tick them off when sorted. Normally have Christmas lights up outside but consoled myself thinking post Christmas it’s a bind to take them all down as the weather usually pretty awful so this year will look at everyone else’s. I think Christmas if you are not well things get totally out of proportion so just do what you can when you are able too after all we do all the preparation for weeks in advance and it’s over in a couple of days. I would explain how you feel to family don’t bottle it all up and I hope you feel much better and have a much better New Year

Thank you for your post and sharing how you are feeling …
It has really helped me and so have the very helpful suggestions everyone has shared

Kate1949

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I agree with what others have said. Do the minimum of chores. In the scheme of things housework doesn't matter. I took feel overwhelmed and was also recently at the docs in tears. Not over Christmas but life in general. It's all very difficult. Not helped by me and DH finding a man dead in the street a couple of weeks ago.

I wonder if it would help to carry Rescue Remedy with you Kate.. just in case something else triggers memories

keepingquiet

Well my day got a whole load worse... I just can't cope with the chaos anymore...

That sounds like more than housework.. deep breathing and do see your GP if you feel really low.. best wishes that it all sorts itself out Keepingquiet

Yes, M0nica's is probably the best advice. It's very easy to let things get on top of you at this time of year so simply cut down on anything you actually don't have to do.
I had many years doing Christmas for four children almost single handed as my husband often worked away from home. Now they've left home I keep things simple, my husband puts up the tree on the balcony outside, we do the cards together and I send my older grandchildren money as presents, my younger grandchildren come with us to choose their own. There isn't much wrapping!
My daughter does breakfast on Christmas Day and I do lunch - I enjoy cooking so this is fine by me. One son comes too but not the others who make their own arrangements.
When my children first left home I was still doing the whole Christmas performance at our home for all of them but one year I had flu and sent my husband to one of them for Christmas without me. I had a lovely time despite the flu and have never picked up all the things I used to do again.

Prioritise what is important. Ask your grand daughter to help with decorating your home.
Don’t go anywhere you don’t want to go.
Take vitamin c
Go for a walk if possible to clear your head.
Write a short list to see what REALLY needs to be done and forget everything else. It is one day which we get overwhelmed by. So don’t sweat about it and if you want to forget @bout it all, that is your right . Good luck

Ooh Casdon i like the timer idea. I’m a procrastinator and can go for days/weeks without being able to start anything. I’m going to try that idea

Your head is probably feels like it’s packed with cotton wool & you can’t think straight. You must tell your family how you feel, put your cards on the table, they probably don’t realise. If I was you,
I’d buy myself a nice meal, bottle of wine if you drink & have day to myself.
Personally, myself, I have just lost my dad. . can’t face taking my bereavement cards down to replace with Christmas cards, someone has just run into my car, made a mess & driven off, so now have to deal with an insurance claim. My head is also packed- trying to clean up, put my tree up. Just decided on having a smallish gathering on Christmas Day so my mum won’t be on her own.
Your own family may too have their own problems. Hopefully you will manage to have a lovely, peaceful Christmas🫂

Twig14

My mother died in September I’m trying to do decorations but my heart isn’t it. I’ve done lists and tick them off when sorted. Normally have Christmas lights up outside but consoled myself thinking post Christmas it’s a bind to take them all down as the weather usually pretty awful so this year will look at everyone else’s. I think Christmas if you are not well things get totally out of proportion so just do what you can when you are able too after all we do all the preparation for weeks in advance and it’s over in a couple of days. I would explain how you feel to family don’t bottle it all up and I hope you feel much better and have a much better New Year

🫂🫂🫂

Dottydots

I had a good cry reading all the above comments. It will be just me and my friend here for Christmas Day. I just can't do what I used to do, so have ordered two Christmas dinners from Wiltshire Farm Foods. Even the large size isn't very big but I will add some sprouts and other veg to it. My friend won't mind as he's very easygoing. I only wish I felt well enough to make more of an effort.

Good idea 🫂

One little thing I do is buy my Christmas cards in the January sales and write them all out then. When I pack away my decorations the written cards go with them. I sometimes have to change one or two for new babies, changed addresses or sadly deaths but I keep some blanks for this purpose. Its so nice to just stick on the stamps and post them in December.

Forget about having a perfect Christmas. It doesn't exist. And the Christmas Days we look back on with fondness as a family are those where something went wrong. 'The day Grandma's paper hat fell into the toilet', the day I got a turkey out of the oven (big enough to feed 14 people), dropped it and it slid across the kitchen floor like it was trying to escape, the day the rabbit bit through the Christmas tree lights etc.. No one ever reminices about how good the food was or how nice the decorations looked.

I’ve bee bullied by my 88 year old sister in law to cook a chateaubriand for Boxing Day. I don’t cook much as I’ve got severe rheumatoid. She wouldn’t let her daughter cook it. She also. wants me to transport homemade pavlova, cheesecake and a trifle. Then she tells me she’s a pile of mending for me to do as I’m staying for two nights.
Covid would be welcome I dispair of enjoying christmas

I'm sorry you're feeling under the weather and under the pressure of Christmas. The season asks so much of us. Do you mind if I offer my own experience? Currently we get about 8 hours of daylight, and actually a lot less due to storms rolling through. Many of us have learned to get outside every day and do some kind of physical activity, enough to breath the fresh (often damp!) air. When you're not feeling well the idea of going outside won't appeal ... but it helps, truly.