Christmas- a rethink?

We also do Secret Santa for all the grown ups who will be together (23 of us) as do many others.
Our target figure is £20 however, which seems about right.
Your day sounds fairly familiar- the Christmas quiz is set by SIL1 and always keenly contested.

My 17 year old grandson had very few items on his wish list costing less than £50! His sister, nearly 20, had a very short list, but needs money more than gifts, to run her car.
I am hoping for the chance to play games with my family too.

We tried secret Santa one year as a family, but others decided to buy individual gifts as well - we were the only ones to do the “secret’” bit so ended up feeling mean. Not long after, we decided to mostly stop gift giving as it was becoming expensive and more difficult as we were buying things I suspect ended in a charity shop. I think some of them have continued gift giving, but we’ve cut back considerably. To be honest, it’s removed a lot of pressure.

Not sre what constitutes the “re” in “ rethink though.
Sounds a bit normal to me

For older family adults we do edible/drinkable presents only now - preferably something ‘treat-ish’ that they wouldn’t normally buy for themselves.

None of us older ones wants any more ‘stuff’ and we mostly prefer to choose anything like clothes/toiletries ourselves.

Unless I know there’s something specific they want (this year I ordered some boots dd2 wanted) adult dds get cash, and something edible to open. Dd1 loves Ferrero Rocher, so that’s very easy!

I wouldn’t be able to specify anything for a £50 Secret Santa.

We all make wish lists of things we’d like, five adults, three children. This year those list items range from thermal gloves to a çan crusher, none are stupidly expensive.
The list idea comes from my parents, it’s worked well for many years and generally stops the guesswork and unwanted gifts
My daughter and children will be here for most of the day, my son and partner will call in briefly after they have finished work.

Is this for real? I must be reading it wrong - £50 for a Secret Santa pressie[tch shock]. There would be a mass rebellion in my family if it were even hinted at. Anything between £5-£10 is the accepted amount, for some a bit less, for the well off, a bit more.

£50 is more than any of us would pay for 'big' main presents.

I feel I'm living in a parallel world

I think that’s a fair amount as a family gift ‘from everyone’ to be honest. By the time you’d add up a pair of socks from one member, a book from another, chocolates from a third etc.
I like the idea. Our Yorkshire Lass suggested it a couple of years ago but the vote didn’t carry. That’s democracy. Maybe we’ll hold another referendum next year! 😁

We’re thinking of going this next year. My friend has been doing it with her family for a few years now and it works well. I think £50 is about right.

Boheminan
If parents and grandparents have the money to buy the presents that their family want what is wrong with that?
Perhaps you would prefer we leave it in the bank for them to make a profit from?
No thank you.

As I said at the beginning of my thread - 'I must be reading it wrong', which it seems I am.

I find the OP confusing and wonder if it's been written by a human being! I've never heard of Elfster, it seems to originate in the US and on reading about it, I still don't understand how it works. For me a 'Secret Santa' is a little additional present costing a small amount of money (stocking filler) given out secretly along with 'big' presents, now it's becoming complicated.

So petra in reply to your scathing response, no of course I'm not out to make a profit from the little money I have in my bank account (not everyone has a fortune stashed away) but am quite happy (as are my family) to carry on as we've done for years, without the intervention of any Elfster (it should be simple enough)

We have bought DS and DIL some hedging plants, are paying for GS to have some work done on his car.

The same amount has been spent on each, so will give GD the cash equivalent.

It costs more than £50 each, but far rather give them ‘useful’ stuff they need than rubbish they don’t.

As long as we can afford to do so, it seems far more use.

We give £30 per family member - that is enough. We only give to dds dhs and gc. Christmas shopping is def in the past along with all the angst.

Every year we give money to a charity in a close family members name, send them the email, and buy them a small gift that they really need. GCs of course get toys or books but we buy off vinted at our families behest.
Have also come to an agreement with my circle of friends that we stop gift giving and get together for a Xmas meal instead. They love the idea.

petra

Boheminan
If parents and grandparents have the money to buy the presents that their family want what is wrong with that?
Perhaps you would prefer we leave it in the bank for them to make a profit from?
No thank you.

Actually, my AC and GC much prefer that we spend our money on enjoying holidays and travelling whilst we are fit enough to do so. Therefore, we have a strict budget for each GC, no longer buy for AC and there's no pressure for gifts to be reciprocated.

OP still hasn’t explained what constitutes a rethink

I had a midwife kit last year...no, not for me obviously, but for a mobile midwife in Malawi.
This year, my daughter has " bought" me some funding for Medicin Sans Frontieres.
However, there is a stack of wrapped gifts awaiting the arrival of six excited
grandchildren aged one to eleven, and I will enjoy the ensuing gift - fest very much.

boheminan
Is this for real? I must be reading it wrong - £50 for a Secret Santa pressie[tch shock]. There would be a mass rebellion in my family if it were even hinted at. Anything between £5-£10 is the accepted amount, for some a bit less, for the well off, a bit more.

This is a lot less than we would usually spend buying everyone in the family a gift ( £50 would be quite a bit less than £10 each if that was the budget for presents to give to everyone) We decided to try it this year as most of us work full time and buying gifts for everyone that they will appreciate has become stressful for some. Though if we decide to do it again next year we will more than likely decrease the amount.

RosiesMaw2
OP still hasn’t explained what constitutes a rethink

I agree the title isn't descriptive, I found it difficult to express in a few words. I meant that we as a family decided to try out Secret Santa, meaning instead of buying everyone a gift in our immediate family, we would just buy a gift for one person picked anonymously - for instance I have no idea who will be selecting my gift.

Ziplok
I imagine this is a familiar feeling for many of us.

Thank you foreverautumn - having done Secret Santa for the last 9 yeas, I suppose I was expecting something more radical!

boheminan
I find the OP confusing and wonder if it's been written by a human being!

Sorry you are confused by my post, I'm actually surprised that so many people read it. I was identified as human at birth

Family secret Santa for anyone over the age of 10 for us, £20 limit. My DD sets it up using an app like Elfster which allows each person to write a wish list if they want. Works well for us. We do keep it fairly secret too.

Our teenage g’children are aware that they get ‘spoiled’ through the year and are happy that each of their birthdays is acknowledged with gifts.

We did the secret santa thing a few years ago, using the site mentioned.

It didn't really work- you don't get to see the gift you sent or the quality.

We quickly reverted back to our usual practice of personally buying and wrapping and handing over when its convenient. We don't set a budget either so people spend what they can and everyone is appreciative of what they are given.

Some people think we're crazy for still doing this but with another sibling missing this year it seems all the more important to treasure each other.