Its Over Thank God - Who else feels like this

I am sure many people both on Gransnet and elsewhere agree with you, but I have a completely different idea of what Christmas is.

For me it does not begin when shops start selling Christmas decorations, advertising presents or telling us there are so and so many days to Christmas. I can happily ignore all this.

Nor is Christmas only one day to me. It is the special time from the 24 December to the 6th January, where day by day I can follow the events that make this time special: the birth of our Saviour, St. Stephen¨s day, the Feast of the Holy Family. the secular year's end and the new year's start, and the feast of the Ephiphany.

I have practically no-one left of my family to celebrate with, or give presents, so I try to find others in a like case to be with.

I would not do without Christmas, although in the years where I have been mourning the dead my celebrations have been muted, or practically non-existant.

Walkowl I’m sorry you have those sorrows. It must be hard for you, not just at Christmas either. 🤦‍♀️

Boxing Day ---- cards down, no decs all done and dusted. Back to normal.

How depressing.

We had a good 'un spent with younger DD and DSiL and his parents at theirs for the first time. Despite barely knowing his parents we all had fun, including the tug-of-war between their rival pubs - which their pub won!

Elder DD and DSiL with two GC spent theirs at home cos they only got back from Lapland on Xmas Eve, but we all had a Zoom session. It was lovely to me to witness younger DD with her nephew and niece, I wondered where she got her wonderful way with kiddies from!

Our DDs and their DHs are both fine people and family is important to them, so we are very lucky compared to some others. This Christmas was special to me as last year I was waiting to start radiotherapy for oral cancer and feared I might not get through it - but I have and last week had the good news that it has gone! Hopefully 2025 will result in my younger DD (age 41) will be lucky with their fourth IVF treatment to have a much-wanted baby.

But Christmas for us nearly didn't happen. DH's peripheral neuropathy has progressed badly, plus he has been trying to cope with a nasty ulcer on his leg (treatment now into month 9!). Our accommodation close to our DD for Christmas was with our touring caravan on a farm field and the day before we were to set off the car battery died. AA called to fit a new one, with a 5-hour wait and £150 lighter, then the caravan battery failed so the mover didn't work. Recharged the following day (so the overnight stop was cancelled) I was moving the van in order to hook up and DH walked into the van which knocked him to the ground. Kind neighbours hoisted him up and he insisted he was fine but nearly a week later and he is still stiff and struggling to walk. I am feeding him paracetamol and ibuprofen.

But we made it (fortunately I am still able to do most of the caravan chores) and have had a lovely time. Back home on Sunday I will have two days to unpack, clean the house, and plan a meal for NY Day when the more local DD, SiL and two GC visit. Santa has delivered gifts for them to our house too!

I am so sorry that not everyone has enjoyed themselves for whatever reason. At our ages we don't need reminding that giving is more important than receiving, but it's also nice to receive too, and more than a tad hurtful if our families leave us out.

I'm really glad it's all over too. But for me it isn't yet. DIL and DS1 are coming Sunday with the DGC 12 and 16 just to visit. DS2 came for xmas eve and stayed until Boxing day. DD and DGD 10 are still here for a few more days, they came on the 20th. They aren't the tidiest of people so I feel like I'm constantly clearing up although OH does help. Really wish we could go away for Xmas. Separate rooms in a hotel would great. Love seeing them but they stay over as all live 100miles away, so its beds to make, their washing to do etc etc. Having a bad stomach myself (I have IBS and COPD) hasn't helped either I just feel exhausted. Maybe next year we will go away fingers crossed.

I am sorry that so many of you have had difficulties and disappointments at Christmas.
I had a difficult year, but my daughter and I made it through tough challenges. She decided to come to my home and we had a very chilled few days together. I nearly lost her to suicide in February and that would have destroyed me. I've never prayed so hard. But we worked on solutions and positive actions. So Christmas was extra special this year for me. No pressure, just love, laughs, hugs, plenty of food, and fussing our pets. I know I am blessed and am profoundly grateful.
I pray that you may all have peace, plenty, and gratitude for the blessings you have in your life, no matter how small and insignificant they might feel whilst you're in the midst of troubles.

I'm happy for all of you who had/are still having a wonderful Christmas but it's not that way for all of us. So, to those of you who seem to think we're just being miserable, try to remember that some of us don't have your type of family, are ill, are lonely, don't like upheaval or had to spend Christmas in a way that we would have preferred not to.

You do realise that no-one talking happily about their Christmas on here has applied the word miserable to anyone who was ill or lonely. Why twist what they said? One or two of the upbeat posters have even come back two ior three times to sympathise with others.

I don't know why, but I watched the tsunami documentary until midnight last night. It happened on Boxing Day 2004. Many people lost 3, 4, or 5 members of their family, I think nearly 250,000 died in total.
But the overriding feeling 20 years on was one of shared love for anyone and everyone who had suffered or was still hurting. ❤️

escaped

You do realise that no-one talking happily about their Christmas on here has applied the word miserable to anyone who was ill or lonely. Why twist what they said? One or two of the upbeat posters have even come back two ior three times to sympathise with others.

I don't know why, but I watched the tsunami documentary until midnight last night. It happened on Boxing Day 2004. Many people lost 3, 4, or 5 members of their family, I think nearly 250,000 died in total.
But the overriding feeling 20 years on was one of shared love for anyone and everyone who had suffered or was still hurting. ❤️

Yes, this is the way I see it.

Reading some of the posts here I get the impression some people think Christmas is just something to be 'done,' brought out of a box in December and then packed away on Boxing Day. It seems devoid of any other meaning to them.

Then there are others who just ignore it- I find this far more honest, especially if it associated with past un-healed trauma.

Others see it as a family occasion, like me, and also like me, a spiritual and religious festival which takes us out of our ordinary selfish preoccupations and presents an alternative to hatred and discord.

The way I see it is that Christmas is not a 'day' when we are forced to do things we rather wouldn't want to, but an entire week or so when we can spend time with others, have some quiet reflection on childhood memories and how they have shaped the Christmasses we share.

Disaster and pain happen I know only to well, but we have to live through that at any other time too, so Christmas is no exception. Babies get born, and people die.

What I feel every year as I am getting older, is that Christmas is about moving forward into the next year and hoping that this one will be better somehow, and not looking back too much to previous ones.

Christmas is the festival of hope, more than anything, so lets take a little bit of that forward to every day, and not just pack it in a box to be brought out next December. Otherwise there is no point in it at all.

👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

I agree escaped the upbeat posters haven’t called anyone miserable.That word first appeared in a post by Doodledog who wrote that people calling others miserable must be miserable themselves🤔or some such wording.
What a great comment keepingquiet lovely sentiments and surely what this religious festival is all about.👍🏻

Oh for goodness sake!

I was trying to take the sting out of some of the comments criticising posts that don’t 100% chime with individuals’ own views. These days whatever anyone says is wrong.

I give up. Crack on being horrible to one another.

escaped, I have 3 nativities bought over many years. My adult children tease me and ask if I’ve added to the collection, nope, each one represents a special time in my many Christmas’s. I don’t go to Church as often as I did but it stays in my heart.

I had the good fortune to go to Egypt has January, historical tour. One of our guides was a Coptic Christian, who took us to the site believed to be where the Holy family hid when escaping Herod’s edict. The2 strength of his faith shon gently through. Our other guide and the men running our Nike cruise were Muslims, again strong gentle faith clear.
I’ve no issue with people of other faiths or none but I wonder if whatever faith you are May influence basic approaches to Christmas. My town has a large Muslim community, who seem to enjoy Christmas. One of our family was brought up as a Muslim, her mum celebrated Christmas with special food and family gatherings.

Good post keepingquiet.

A few of on here have already stated that we suffer from chronic pain and lifelong, debilitating ill health, but we still find joy in Christmas. No-one is calling anyone miserable.

I have mentioned this before. Forty seven years ago, newly married, I was discharged on Christmas Eve after spending six weeks in HDU. My family were told I probably wouldn't make it to Christmas.
Every Christmas I rejoice in the fact that I am still here!

My faith plays a huge part in our Christmas celebrations, certainly not just one day and a box to be ticked.

I think love supersedes any faith or religion. Like both Christmas and Hanukkah are celebrations of love over darkness.

Doodledog, I must be blind if there are people bring horrible to one another here?

Yes escaped celebrations of love over darkness and hope for the future❤️

Oreo

It’s a bit sad that so many want their Christmas festivities to just be over as quick as possible.

This is the sort of thing (ie criticising others' comments) that prompted my post, in which I made a joke (hence the wink) about how the people saying others are 'sad' are maybe skewed by their own desire to be seen to do things the 'right way'.

I posted as I thought that those having a bad time might feel worse reading that sort of thing, but clearly I shouldn't have bothered.

This is the sort of thing (ie criticising others' comments) that prompted my post, in which I made a joke (hence the wink) about how the people saying others are 'sad' are maybe skewed by their own desire to be seen to do things the 'right way'.

For me, it certainly isn't about being seen to do things the right way. It is my choice to celebrate Christmas, the way I do, despite how awful I may feel. Take it from me, I feel awful most of the time. The important part of the word Christmas is Christ. That is what it means for me.

Good, thoughtful post keepingquiet and others who think Christmas is something to be celebrated, not got over with then tidied back in the box again.

I can understand someone who has no family, no-one at all to spend time with feeling left out but there are places to go to where those on their own can spend some time with others and enjoy a meal if they wish. DD went to help out at one such gathering this year, serving lunches to those who might otherwise be lonely on Christmas Day. It cheered her up too as she couldn't be with family.

Hanukkah began too, on Christmas Day.

Not everyone is religious, of course, and Christmas may just mean family get togethers, eating, drinking, giving gifts which people have done from time immemorial to lighten the dark days of winter.

It isn’t about me wanting others to do things ‘the right way’ either, it was just a statement that I found it sad that some posters wanted it over as quick as possible.I don’t do Christmas in any way Doodledog being Jewish.It wasn’t criticism from me or that I found the posters ‘sad’ but that I found the comments around Christmas to be sad.They all had their reasons to be sure.
You then introduced the word miserable saying it must be posters who are miserable if they were up upbeat, I can’t remember the actual wording so will find your original post.
A winking emoji means zilch in this context.

Doodledog

Oh, I didn't see this as a thread about being miserable - more about recognition of the fact that the picturebook/TV representations of Christmas aren't always accurate, and that however much we enjoy it, Christmas can be hard work.

Maybe those who are seeing it as a miserable thread are showing their own miserable outlook?

Here it is.

The point is that the title of the thread is wrong!

Christmas Day might be over but the Christmas festival was not over when the OP was posted. Christmas is not just one day.

all the pressure and hype starting in November
I do agree - in fact it seemed to start before Hallowe'en this year. All mention of Christmas should be banned before the first day of Advent!

Oreo

Doodledog

Oh, I didn't see this as a thread about being miserable - more about recognition of the fact that the picturebook/TV representations of Christmas aren't always accurate, and that however much we enjoy it, Christmas can be hard work.

Maybe those who are seeing it as a miserable thread are showing their own miserable outlook?

Here it is.

Yes, I know. That's the post I was on about - complete with wink. 'I don't see this as a thread about being miserable' - why single that out?

If you aren't being being nasty I don't know what is.

We all celebrate (or not) in our own way. Some have a great time and others don't. Why the need to call people 'sad'?

Anyway, I really cba with this. It's still (supposedly) the season of good will, and I'm not being goaded like this any longer.

Well OP is over it as BA69 is on a break😀