Dreading Christmas this year

I have always loved Christmas. I was born in a village outside York and all my Dad's family lived there. We didn't get loads like children expect now but appreciated anything we got and they were happy times as we all got together. We went to Chapel and then to my Gran's for dinner.
I've now lost all my closest family and have no partner or children. On Christmas morning my closest friend used to ring before she went to her sisters and I used to ring my last Auntie at home (Dad's sister in law) as she was my last link to home and have continued to go and see her about 3 times a year, even when she went into a home . (I have lived in Cheshire for 40 years.) However, my best friend died suddenly at the end of June (the day after we'd had our usual hourly chat) and my Auntie died at the end of August the week before my birthday so have just been "home" for the funeral. I do have other friends but they have partners, husbands, children etc and wouldn't want to ring and bother them at Christmas. I have booked myself in for a Boxing Day meal a couple of times in recent years and have felt like a spare part and the food wasn't even enjoyable. Is anyone else in this position? Do you make plans? I still put up my decorations but no one sees them. I've been on my own for years now so that part doesn't bother me. It's just the memories of all those happy times come back.