Gransnet forums

Classics

If the younger generation have Mummy Porn.....

(401 Posts)
Notsogrand Tue 26-Jun-12 20:39:47

....am I being unreasonable to suggest we have our own, more mature version?
With the Fifty Shades Trilogy breaking all sales records, spawning appreciation societies and leading to a dramatic increase in sales of handcuffs, 'Mummy Porn' is the new buzzy media expression.
I gave up after reading a quarter of the first book and started to think about the literary talents on Gransnet. We could do better!
So instead of young hero Christian Grey (rich, sado-masochist, likes to control and hurt women) and young heroine Anastasia Steele (muppet who lets him) let's call our mature leading characters, Chris Beige and Ana Zinc.
What erotic vignettes can we come up with for our new characters? How about....

As dusk approached, Mr Beige banged the safety bar on his stairlift in a masterful manner and called out 'Ana! Press the button NOW!' Ana stood on the landing gazing down upon her master as he rose towards her (geddit?) As he came closer and closer, she felt the release of her inner goddess. With one hand resting seductively on the handle of her glittered walking stick, she unrolled the garters from the top of her lisle stockings and prepared herself to be overwhelmed.

Over to you ladies & gents......

nelliedeane Sat 14-Jul-12 18:06:02

He has been seen to purchase a tight fitting jock strap,unfortunately he has not been favoured in the trouser area,which in this case is a blessing...it seems as if his earlier voyage of self discovery has not made the slightest difference apart from having his eye straightened....

Anagram Sat 14-Jul-12 18:25:40

Oh dear...I have visions of a stunted, juveline Benny Hill!

Butternut Sat 14-Jul-12 18:53:52

Reference to 4 - 5 yr. old girls in this thread I find totally unacceptable, along with further references from others, to boys and girls in a sexual context.
This is an open forum, and is available to all who wish to join. Please be aware that this type of thoughtlessness and stupidity may encourage others who do not see the 'comic' perspective you are trying to maintain.
I haven't enjoyed this thread, and have kept my distance, but this has made me very angry indeed. It is totally inappropriate. angry

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 19:06:05

I see your point and agree!

AlieOxon Sat 14-Jul-12 19:07:54

It was funny before..........

Butternut Sat 14-Jul-12 19:08:33

Thanks for the support, jeni

Anagram Sat 14-Jul-12 19:10:12

I agree, Butter and apologise for my part in it. The reference to 4-5 year old girls I found unacceptable as well, but I had assumed we had moved on to later teenage-hood. (Still not acceptable on, as you say, an open forum).
I think it's probably time to terminate the Granny Porn thread.

whenim64 Sat 14-Jul-12 19:11:37

I feel I should have said something sooner when I saw a reference to children so I am sorry I did not step up Butternut instead of leaving it others. I think the posters should have an opportunity to get the thread back on track, before visiting strangers searching for this sort of material misinterpret what Gransnet is really about.

Personally, I would prefer if references to children were deleted.

Butternut Sat 14-Jul-12 19:16:41

Yes, when and thank you.

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 19:51:15

We can ask GNHQ to delete. I'm in favour!

JessM Sat 14-Jul-12 20:09:02

I have. They are usually obliging. Once I had to disagree with them about something I thought was inciting racial hatred. They conceded. smile

Annobel Sat 14-Jul-12 20:17:26

I am also in favour - it's gone too far now.

nelliedeane Sat 14-Jul-12 20:21:55

Firstly I apologise for any offence I may have caused,it was not my intention for the way the plot developed and in hindsight perhaps the thread should be discontinued.
I no longer feel able to post on Gransnet and will cancel my membership

whenim64 Sat 14-Jul-12 20:35:27

Nellie you have been having a great time on Gransnet and I got the impression people enjoyed the funny threads, and you have apologised for your part, which did start to take a different turn when it stopped being a spoof and people with another agenda joined in. I don't want to see you leave and I'm sure others don't either. I hope you'll think it over before doing anything rash. flowers

Annobel Sat 14-Jul-12 20:39:35

I echo that, nellie. You have given us not only a good laugh but a lot of your wisdom as well. Please, please, don't leave us.

snapshot Sat 14-Jul-12 20:47:50

Don't leave NELL .. I promise I'll change my socks more often .. honest! ... BUT SERIOUSLY ... don't go, you have a genuine and a sincere wit .. I'm certain you help bring colour to many such as myself in my very monochrome life.

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 20:49:10

Don't go nell! We'd miss you. We all make mistakes. We love you. You cheer us up and I'm sure the men would miss you!

JessM Sat 14-Jul-12 20:51:22

don't be daft nellie It was actually gramps post that I think stepped over the line.

Ella46 Sat 14-Jul-12 20:51:39

Please stay*Nellie*, you've made me laugh so much, we need grans like you xx.

Butternut Sat 14-Jul-12 20:59:30

Nellie Your quick wit has always been valued on GN, and it would be a pity to see you leave. I know how important GN is to you.

I did have to make that post, but having made it, will now move on. I do hope you will stay with us, as I know many GN-ers would miss you and you them, I am sure.

snapshot Sat 14-Jul-12 21:12:36

Bravo Butternut well said, it's very much appreciated ... So Nell, don't be making any rash decisions .. I've only been here 5mins yet I'd definitely miss the fun & games your buoyant mind creates .. and anyway, I've bought a new tankard to hang above the bar in The Moon, I don't want to be found wandering the streets with an empty pot, my street cred will drop like a stone! .. do stick around kid!! smile

whenim64 Sat 14-Jul-12 21:26:11

I see that gramps has been keeping a low profile whilst nellie has been decent enough to come along and take the wrap! Typical, eh? grin

Annobel Sat 14-Jul-12 21:28:10

I have tried to pm Nellie and got the message 'this is not an existing nickname', so it looks as if she has gone and left us. What a shame. Maybe she'll be back under another name.

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 21:34:57

The same here! Perhaps GNHQ can contact her? They will have her email address.

Anagram Sat 14-Jul-12 21:35:03

when, I did apologise too.