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Coronavirus

AIBU to go abroad for a few days ?

(72 Posts)
Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 11:15:43

I'm due to go to a family funeral in Germany. My partner won't come due to the coronavirus risks of flying, and would prefer me to stay at home too. I feel l must attend the funeral at all costs. Am l being selfish ?

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 17:23:15

Niobe, Namsnanny, Maggie, Blueberry - thank you for all your good advice. I think l would be daft to ignore all the collective advice posted here- so l'll stay home.
Travelling abroad seems to be getting more difficult by the hour due to corona lockdowns - l'd hate to get stranded away from home- or worse get ill.
My partner will be pleased too - that l've come to my senses at last.
It's probably the hardest decision l've made for years x

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 17:49:07

JackyB - That sort of confirms my fears, and it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. Thanks for the local info.

Ellianne Sat 14-Mar-20 17:57:17

What a hard decision to make Bald1 but you're doing the right thing.
I like Niobe's suggestion about holding a memorial service at a later date.

varian Sat 14-Mar-20 18:08:39

Just don't go. You would be puting yourself at risk, particularly when travelling.

Ask yourself whether the dear departed or any of your other loved ones would want you to come to harm.

I'm guessing the answer is NO, so don't go.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 19:07:57

Thanks for the advice, varian and Ellianne.
I won't be going now - a difficult decision, but 100% of posts think it's best not to.

Tangerine Sat 14-Mar-20 20:08:28

I am sure your deceased relation will understand.

Tangerine Sat 14-Mar-20 20:08:45

I meant "would" understand.

harrigran Sat 14-Mar-20 20:14:25

I have a funeral to attend next week and am a little worried. It is a church service then at the crematorium, afterwards there is a meal at a hotel.
If I have any doubts on the day I will not attend, most of us have health issues and are at risk.
I have a sick relative in Germany too and praying I do not have to travel in the present situation. The relative has lung cancer so is vulnerable.
I would stay at home if I was you, the deceased will not know whether you are there.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 22:17:25

Thanks harrigran and Tangerine, you're right, l've decided it's better to stay at home.

JackyB Sun 15-Mar-20 06:52:35

Bald and harrigran the choice will be taken from you. Like several other countries, Germany will probably be closing its borders as from this weekend.

Authoress Sun 15-Mar-20 09:23:06

Stay home. Cases are doubling every day.

Mtc59 Sun 15-Mar-20 09:24:47

Very sad and disappointed to pull out of our holiday to algarve at last minute. Decision made after speaking to our friend who has a very popular beach front restaurant. Portugal has not yet closed its borders but is likely to especially as manySpanish are crossing into Portugal. Our friend has closed his restaurant and says clubs,bars and businesses closing locally. We just had to be sensible. So sat here, suitcases packed but still at home.

Moggycuddler Sun 15-Mar-20 09:46:57

Stay at home. These are not normal times. I am sure the person who passed away would understand. If it was someone close, have your own private little ceremony here at home.

polnan Sun 15-Mar-20 09:47:33

Of course it is not an easy decision to make.. my prayers go with you and all.

if it is the deceased person you are thinking of, I am sure he or she is aware... and yes,, very hard.

imo the best decision you could make

Witzend Sun 15-Mar-20 09:55:03

A very good friend’s husband died about 9 days ago. Haven’t yet heard about the funeral, but we were planning to go and stay overnight in a hotel or B and B - it’s about a 2 1/2 hour drive away.
I dare say it’s a pretty safe bet to say we won’t be going now.

grannypiper Sun 15-Mar-20 09:56:37

It will make no difference to the deceased if you are there or not.

Rachand Sun 15-Mar-20 10:25:17

My DH brother died in Spain 9 days ago, he had to make the decision to go or not knowing there had to be a number of c19 cases in the town there. In the end he didn’t go as he was worried about catching it. Sad, but safer!

GracesGranMK3 Sun 15-Mar-20 10:34:03

My son came over for my mother's funeral but my brother (75) did not. If it had been a week later my son would have been on his own in the spare bedroom when he got back as he would have had to self-isolated.

It's an awful decision to have to make but thinking about coming back is important.

Phloembundle Sun 15-Mar-20 10:38:00

Why on earth would anyone with a modicum of sense get on a plane to anywhere at the moment?

NannyG123 Sun 15-Mar-20 10:46:22

I'm sorry for your loss Baldi, but seriously I wouldn't go. I'm sure you can remember your loved one in your own private way, at the same time the funeral takes place. You may get they're and not be able to get home again. Stay safe.

Lancslass1 Sun 15-Mar-20 10:46:33

Please stay at home.
Perhaps you could go to your local Church or even somewhere quiet like your garden at the time of the funeral and spend a little time thinking about the person who has died.
I send you my condolences ,Baldi.

Newatthis Sun 15-Mar-20 10:48:09

Really! Are you really willing to take the chance of catching the virus on board the plane (airplanes are petri dishes at best) or elsewhere and possible spreading it and bringing it back to this country. Really give it some thought. The person who is being buried won't know whether you are there or not and will look down from heaven and know that you have done good not to go. If you are religious then have a small blessing at home for the deceased and then go and visit the grave when things have calmed down a little.

Maremia Sun 15-Mar-20 10:59:53

Best not to go. You could get stranded there, or put into 14 days quarantine on return, or worse still you could catch it and bring it back. One of the first outbreaks in Spain came from a family in the North attending a funeral. JackyB has the local information, to help you decide.

Theoddbird Sun 15-Mar-20 11:03:02

Condolences to you. Their soul flies free. I think you need to stay home. Just keep your relative in your thoughts....they would not want you risking catching the virus X

Alexa Sun 15-Mar-20 11:05:06

Your feelings are a fact and not selfish . Your decision may or may not be based entirely on your feelings. Some people amy prefer reason to feelings.