Gransnet forums


AIBU to go abroad for a few days ?

(71 Posts)
Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 11:15:43

I'm due to go to a family funeral in Germany. My partner won't come due to the coronavirus risks of flying, and would prefer me to stay at home too. I feel l must attend the funeral at all costs. Am l being selfish ?

Oopsminty Sat 14-Mar-20 11:21:12

I can understand you wanting to go and I can also understand your partner's concerns

The way things are going at the moment I'd be somewhat concerned about the logistics of it all

Just this morning, planes en route to Spain have turned round mid-flight

Tricky one, Baldl.

Sympathies to you at this sad time

glammanana Sat 14-Mar-20 11:26:47

Not a good decision to have to make is it? I would stay at home if it where me, what would you do if you managed to get there then found you could not get back ?

ginny Sat 14-Mar-20 11:29:44

Sorry for your loss and it is a hard decision to make. Personally, I would not go.

Luckygirl Sat 14-Mar-20 11:51:05

Stay at home. Would the deceased person have wanted you to put yourself at risk?

Sparklefizz Sat 14-Mar-20 11:57:11

Sympathies for your loss, but personally I wouldn't go. Every day the situation changes. What if you could not get back home? I would spend the day of the funeral in quiet reflection on your loved one.

rockgran Sat 14-Mar-20 12:34:58

I would stay at home - no question. Your loved one would understand, I'm sure. Your thoughts will still be with the family but what good would it do to become ill and/or stranded?

Fiachna50 Sat 14-Mar-20 12:35:04

Sorry for the loss of your loved one. Go onto the Foreign Office website for travel advice. One word of warning. If you travel against FCO advice, your travel insurance company will not cover you.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 12:35:39

Thanks for your comment Oopsminty...yes it is a very difficult decision. I have a few days to decide.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 12:42:29

Thank you everyone for your comments here which are a great help to me.
I think the collective opinion is to stay at home in case l get ill or stranded abroad.
l think l'm going to follow your wise advice and just spend the funeral day thinking of my loved one and maybe visit when this virus is beaten.
Thank you again for helping me come this decision x

Grannmarie Sat 14-Mar-20 12:49:24

Condolences on your loss, Bald 1.

Flights to Spain, Balearics and Canaries have been cancelled this morning by Jet2 and TUI, some flights are turning around mid air because of CV fears.

If you managed to get a flight to Germany, you might be unable to return.

You can remember your loved one thoughtfully from the safety and comfort of your own home.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 13:26:15

Thank you granmarie...good advice. It would be terrible getting stranded over there. I just can't think straight at the moment.x

Iam64 Sat 14-Mar-20 13:46:58

Bald1, so sorry to read about your loss and the difficult decision you're struggling with. As other have said, Jet 2 have cancelled all flights to Spain, with planes turned around mid air. I flew home from a planned trip to Spain last weekend. We were all anxious that we may be confined to Spain if things escalated. That would be my main worry when balancing the risks in going to Germany

Poppyred Sat 14-Mar-20 14:21:35

Very sorry for your loss. I think the decision will be made for you. It cant be helped and no one will think less of you.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 15:13:58

Thanks poppyred, if they banned all flights in the next few days l'd be relieved in many ways.

Hetty58 Sat 14-Mar-20 15:20:10

I really have to agree with your partner Bald1. There is no great duty to attend funerals, especially abroad.

In times of pandemics it wouldn't be expected, in fact it could be seen as reckless behaviour to make an unnecessary journey.

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 15:36:49

Thanks Hetty58,
At first l was determined to go...but having second thoughts now after most posts think it's unwise.
As you say, my relatives should be understanding if l don't show up due to the circumstances.

Calendargirl Sat 14-Mar-20 16:03:34

Is it a cremation? As mentioned on another thread, some crems offer a video link to the service for people unable to attend in person,

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 16:21:42

Thanks Luckygirl, l was sort of hoping to hear that.

Niobe Sat 14-Mar-20 16:26:59

I have told my husband that if I pop my clogs during this pandemic then he is not to hold a funeral. I shall be simply cremated and no one is to travel to attend. When the pandemic is over he can hold a memorial service.

I have a feeling that this is what will be happening in many families.

MaggieTulliver Sat 14-Mar-20 16:38:55

Sorry for your loss Bald but agree with the others that it’s best to stay home. My German mother didn’t go to her sister’s funeral in Germany a couple of years ago and it was hard for her but she spoke to everyone there and felt part of it.

Namsnanny Sat 14-Mar-20 16:39:35

Condolences Bald1 bad luck. Difficult circumstances, plenty of good advice that I would follow though

BlueBelle Sat 14-Mar-20 17:02:37

I, not sure you ll be in any more danger in Germany but I wouldn’t travel simply because I d be afraid of not getting back and I can’t think of anything worse than be stuck for weeks or even months away from home

Bald1 Sat 14-Mar-20 17:08:33

Calendargirl - yes it is a cremation, that's a good idea about the video feed. Thanks.

JackyB Sat 14-Mar-20 17:13:46

I live in Germany. Absolutely everything is cancelled - e. g. all church services. People are being told not to attend funerals (I will have to forgo one myself next week) unless closest family.