AIBU to go abroad for a few days ?

Well done to all the sensible people deciding to stay at home and keep away from travel and family gatherings. You are keeping yourselves - and the rest of us - safe!

Sadly (or perhaps a relief) I would imagine it has been decided for you.
So many hard choices these days

So sorry for your loss.

Are you sure you will be allowed into Germany? The borders to both Denmark and Austria have been closed.

I would stay at home and consider my duty to the living more important than to the departed.

I find it very unreasonable of you even to think of going anywhere right now Especially as the UK seems to be doing nothing at all to contain the virus compared to what other countries are doing.

Glad you have come to terms with not attending. It could all get very complicated if you had to isolate yourself in Germany and then here if you manage to get back. Also very hard to isolate from your partner in your home unless you have masses of space and two kitchens and bathrooms. Perhaps you can order a rose or a plant for your garden online so you’ll have a special place for him/her.

stay home or yours might be the next funeral!

I have a similar dilemma. My new GS is due mid May in Australia. My ticket is booked, but I have no insurance. I have 6 weeks to decide what to do. They are already enforcing a 2 week isolation period for travellers over there.

Bald1

There will be many people like Bald who don't quite realise the enormity of the pandemic .

I don’t think you’d be able to travel to Germany, Bald1, and as JackyB says, the funeral probably won’t take place now.

I’m so sorry for your loss, would it be possible for the service to be live-streamed to you.

I wouldn’t I’m afraid. Irrespective of any risk whilst you’re there, I would not put myself in an airport or on an aircraft at this time. Also Germany is today, closing its borders to 3 European countries (not us yet). In addition, what if you have to self isolate there. Most insurance companies are not covering that, so it would all be at your own expense.

I don’t think the German government will want you to turn up anyway. Best to stay home.

Hi Baldl - I don't think that you have to go to a funeral to think and reflect about your family member. Spend the day quietly thinking about them and what they meant to you - I will be doing this next week instead of travelling a long distance and putting myself at risk. Your family would not expect you to put yourself in danger for a funeral.

Thanks to you all for the sound advice. After much consideration I've taken it on board and have cancelled my trip, and will think of my deceased love one on the day of the funeral from my own home.
Sometimes it's hard to think clearly and other's opinions are a real help - so thanks again.

I think the current travel restrictions may have taken the matter out of your own control. It doesn't mean that you loved that person any the less. If possible, why not go for a walk in a woodland, a moor or deserted seashore, take a hot drink in a flask & something to sit on and read some poetry, or a prayer and meditate on your memories of the person. Shout goodbye into the wind and perhaps have a tree planted in their memory or make a donation to something they would have approved of. Send your apologies to Germany & let them know you tried & what you have done in your loved ones memory. I'm sorry for your loss & the added grief this awful virus has brought you. It's an aspect of it that had not occured to me until now.

And yes as GoldenAge said,please dont help spread it.

Sympathies for your loss.but if you do go and you got ill that would not bring your loved one back and may risk your life too.or on a less note,you may not get back if locked down.No dont take the risk its not worth it! Your loved one would not have wanted you to be at risk im sure.visit when all this is over (hopefully) and buy a huge wreath or bunch of lovely flowers when you get there.

So sorry for your loss Bald1. I expect there will be others in your situation too. I’m glad you’ve made the difficult decision not to attend the funeral . You’ve done the sensible thing and as others have said you can go and pay your respects once this virus has been controlled. Sending hugs. ?

Lucky if you can get a flight. Doubt you will and hopefully you won't. The person's funeral whose it is won't mind. Just say a little prayer and don't go.

Bald1 - I sympathise with your plight but honestly, are you reasons for not going 'in case you become ill' or 'in case you are stranded'? I work with bereaved people and I know that being in a state of grief can cause confusion in thinking, but surely the main reason for not going is so as not to catch the virus and bring it back here and infect others? That has to be your main concern, not whether you personally become ill or become stranded. Attending a funeral is purely for yourself, not for the deceased, and in a pandemic none of us can afford to risk being part of the spread of the virus.

Sorry I wouldn't go. It's not worth the risk. We've decided today to forgo our family holiday to Spain, losing £2.500 if it's not officially cancelled.

Your feelings are a fact and not selfish . Your decision may or may not be based entirely on your feelings. Some people amy prefer reason to feelings.

Condolences to you. Their soul flies free. I think you need to stay home. Just keep your relative in your thoughts....they would not want you risking catching the virus X

Best not to go. You could get stranded there, or put into 14 days quarantine on return, or worse still you could catch it and bring it back. One of the first outbreaks in Spain came from a family in the North attending a funeral. JackyB has the local information, to help you decide.

Really! Are you really willing to take the chance of catching the virus on board the plane (airplanes are petri dishes at best) or elsewhere and possible spreading it and bringing it back to this country. Really give it some thought. The person who is being buried won't know whether you are there or not and will look down from heaven and know that you have done good not to go. If you are religious then have a small blessing at home for the deceased and then go and visit the grave when things have calmed down a little.