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How are people going to manage who look after their ill parents if we have to isolate

(38 Posts)
bikergran Sun 15-Mar-20 08:09:08

Recently I am having to spend more time looking after my parents, my mum has cancer my dad Parkinson's copd they are both 84 been reasonbly fit n healthy.

My mum had a fall last week so crisis care team in at the mo.but their time is limited.

What worries me is if we have to isolate ourselves, how are our poorly relatives going to manage without us, that rely on us for popping in, taking meals, cleaning cooking etc.

I know you can put meals in freezer but when they are ill and elderly they sometimes just cant be bothered and go down hill,

Has anyone got a plan in place?? some people don't have friends or family, and a lot of people help elderly neighbours.

Hithere Tue 17-Mar-20 11:11:41


Of course he is scared!
Would he be open to be educated about how to care for his wife in a more rational and effective manner?

Hithere Tue 17-Mar-20 11:20:13

What would you suggest instead?

glammanana Tue 17-Mar-20 11:39:23

Biker Your dad may have the misconception that mum will dehydrate if she doesn't take the drink he is after all 84 yrs old so really he does not need to be educated as such poor man must be worried sick about your mum.Just take her some flavoured water in the big bottles and get dad to refill smaller bottles for her to

Mamie Tue 17-Mar-20 11:39:26

One of the exceptions to lockdown here is that you can go out to care for elderly relatives.

Urmstongran Tue 17-Mar-20 12:18:01

Maybe all us ‘oldies’ should bunk up together if we can? My 87y old stepfather is okay but if he needed more care I think we would move in with him (his home has a spare bedroom ours doesn’t. (as retirees it would be do-able for us bikersgran - obviously you have a job to consider so that’s not possible for you).

Maybe we all need to think outside our usual boxes? Short term inconveniences for long term health gains. There may well have to be uncomfortable discussions within families in the weeks ahead.

Purplepixie Tue 17-Mar-20 12:24:53

My best friend looks after her mam who is 100 years old and she is scared stiff in case they get this virus. Scary times and I wish I could help them but I cannot as I live 200 miles away and they have relatives but they have been told to stay away. Where is this all going to end?

Grammaretto Tue 17-Mar-20 12:40:44

I'm currently with gt grandpa. He's watching the news. He 's not worried and says his life won't change much.
He doesn't want us to take him out for a drive . He says he's been out in the garden and has plenty enough fresh air.

bikergran Fri 20-Mar-20 20:57:46

Hithere my dad has Parkinsons, copd, heart trouble, but does not need to be educated in how to care for the love of his life after 65 years, He just gets frightened if he thinks she isn't drinking/eating enough.

Thankfully whilst I have been there sleeping etc over the last 3 nights days, my mum has improved, the sickly drinks have gone out the window.mum has been enjoying other drinks, iced water.juice etc.
Bassets vitamins so all is a little better at the mo.

Thankyou Maw and Glamm smile

SalsaQueen Fri 20-Mar-20 21:01:55

Social Services aren't the only care providers - there are lots of care agencies around, and they are all still working. If your parents are able to pay for their care, t would be a simple case of you ringing one of the many agencies to set it up. If your parents are unable to pay, couldn't you help/ With hand-washing, gloves, etc., it shouldn't be too much of a problem, should it?

Hetty58 Fri 20-Mar-20 21:06:58

My daughter is worried. She wonders what happens if she and OH get ill. Who will look after the kids? Perhaps her brother's family - but will they want to risk infection?

bikergran Fri 20-Mar-20 21:09:19

Thanks for that Salsa my mum has just started having a carer in to help with washing etc,its all quite new to us all.

I just feel like I have to do as much as I can as the carers only have a limited time for each person, they are truly wonderful and in the even that it is impossible to visit /shop.clean/chat etc then at least I know some one is going in every day.

Hithere Fri 20-Mar-20 23:11:46

He doesn't need to be educated? Ok then.

Best of luck

How did the drinks end up in the house?

Denial runs strong in the family