Very needy 'needy' neighbours!

And as far as i know,just cause some are not 'out'on doorsteps clapping for theNHS,doesnt mean theyre not grateful,nor support them,it means theres other reasons not to be outside doing it,(mobility,or bedridden elderly,or agrophobic,or not knowing what day or time is?etc etc) doesn't mean they don't care,or weren't doing clapping in their beds or homes?Just as theres lots of reasons for people who cant get out,theres lots for the "80% of neighbours" who cant stand out to clap.please dont make assumptions.

Jane10 I have felt very sorry for kind volunteers buying locally for some elderly who cannot get out. They have been very rude to the volunteers because they do not and will not eat that type of bread- it must be sliced, not unsliced etc. They should be grateful to get anything.

I never noticed on asda site it told you what number you are in queue? It just said it was high traffic & made me wait nearly an hour? It did say there were over 25000 on boots website though.?

My brother would fall into this category. He has Aspregers and does not go out he finds it almost impossible to interact with society. He wouldn’t let me organise a shop for him since before Christmas as there was a new boiler being fitted and he cannot cope with strangers and disruption. Now of course it is impossible to organise one. He doesn’t understand why his neighbour can’t get him everything he would like. So for someone who didn’t know he would come across as demanding.

So hard to understand, when the restrictions first came into place there was a man on a phone in complaining bitterly as he was 76 years old, he worked, he went to the gym, played golf, had an amazing social life. he considered himself to be FIT. No one was telling him what to do. The man answering the questions tried to explain that when you are in your seventies and older you may be fit but it is your immune system that is not as strong as you get older.That was the reason for staying at home no matter how fit you are.

I live in a rural village where a community scheme was set up to help and support people. Cards would be posted through everyone's door explaining and giving you numbers to contact for help. Our side of the road has received nothing, I was speaking with one of the volunteers only yesterday and she asked had we had cards. Apparently, the woman who agreed to support our side of the road is too busy and hasn't got time but didn't bother to let anyone know.

I have a vulnerable 83 year old neighbour who hasn't been contacted. He is his own worse enemy as no one can do anything right for him and there's only him that is ill. He is frightened as to what is going to happen. I have made numerous 'phone calls and he is eligible for the food box and other support. No doubt the bread won't be suitable or the toilet rolls up to his standard. The fruit and veg. will be wasted as he only eats frozen veg. and the occasional banana. You really can't help some people. I have been warned by my son and his family to stay at home.

They make daily phone calls to update everyone on how THEY are doing and never ask how the recipients of the calls are.

Ive stopped taking their calls. They have dozens of neighbours and charities running around doing non essential things for them so Im not abandoning them, there are people who need my energy more.

Calls go like this
"Well as you know I'M vulnerable so I am in TOTAL lockdown so I have X coming to water my flowers because I can only go out for my walk...*
Me: "isnt X on immune suppressants for her arthritis? She is on "lockdown" too and shouldnt really be doing your gardening"
"She isnt over 70 I am!"

Yes charleygirl5,i know i for 1 would be extremely grateful and im surprised at them really,as if theyve lived in wartime,or up to the 50's they'll surely remember the rationing& how they couldnt get things? So should have this pointed out to them that its similar now? (im not old enough but my late mum used to tell me all about it!) So perhaps the organisations could point this out,or the volunteers could mention it and just say ' well its all theyve got in im afraid' with a rueful smile& hand it over,& go.? I think a lot of elderly only like to 'stick' to one thing if its what theyre used to? (They shouldnt be rude to people helping them though)Or sometimes if its a person with ASD issues they can only 'accept' certain items and its very difficult for them,and for the purchaser. My sons have 'issues' with some food items/ textures and its a nightmare doing shopping,especially right now.Also theres any food allergies& intolerances to take into consideration with some people as well.

Whats unfortunate is that people like this burn out the volunteers good will

I wondered that too about Tapdance's post. Why do daily shopping when we are told to do weekly shopping, and for a good reason?

I wondered that too about Tapdance's post. Why do daily shopping when we are told to do weekly shopping, and for a good reason?

Maybe the daughter is on foot and cant carry much?

I am on the gps 12 week isolation , husband decided to stop going shopping 2 weeks ago to prevent any additional risks to me. Hard for him as he goes food shopping several times a week. But luckily or neighbours are involved in setting up the villages support scheme and did some shopping for us . They went to our favourite supermarket(WAitrose) instead of their usual Tesco and have decide to shop there themselves in future. We don’t speak to neighbours on the other side, they fall out with everyone.

Saw people complaining that those who run a community fridge voluntarily should be doing home delivery!

Some people only think of themselves and will find themselves totally cut off if they carry on like this.

Some people only think of themselves and will find themselves totally cut off if they carry on like this.

Unfortunately thats not the case. They're the ones shouting loudests and grabbing everything going. Pushing themselves to the top of lists etc. Leaving the quieter types and the more needy without

E.g. my relative. Completelt independant 2 weeks ago, now insisting that they cannot have deliveries left at their gate and must have everything carried right to their door for them (where they stand and direct!) becauase they insist they are "vulnerable"

Their demands are time consuming meaning that volunteers etc wont get to someone else

They have all kinds of people lined up to run around after them

People who have been written to by NHS England and told to stay in for 12 weeks are in the ‘extremely vulnerable’ category and require ‘shielding’. They are also required to keep two metres from others in the household. These are the ones eligible for the food box, but only if they have no-one else to help them.

?? I am furious! Said "needy " neighbour has just shouted over the fence that he feels "so much worse today", was "having trouble breathing" and smoking a cigarette! He had the bloody nerve to ask us to buy him some when we go shopping later! We have no reason to go shopping until probably next Tuesday at the earliest. NO! We will not be buying them for him, not making any special trips for non essentials at all. I despair!!!!! He didn't even ask how we were?

Shopping sites update their delivery slots at about midnight and I haven’t been able to book a slot then as so many people trying to get in the sites and by the time you can all slots are gone.

You haven't actually said how he is coming into contact with you and what he is doing?

I just feel that some people are so selfish I volunteer for singing for the brain and memory cafes for Alzheimer’s so I see these people and their carers who could need these deliveries

We have young neighbours, we take parcels in for them frequently and thought they might have rung the doorbell and asked if we are okay.
Until now we have shopped once a week but I am getting jittery so DS will probably have to come and bring us bread and milk, he will have to drive 45 minutes each way but everybody else I know is over 70 and in the same position.
We have tried for weeks to get online for shopping but have found it impossible and the local greengrocer who delivered has stopped taking orders because he is inundated.

I'm horrified, reading this thread. The way these people are so demanding really gets my goat! I'm in the "shielded" ie extremely likely to be very ill &/or expire if I catch this disease group and am very grateful for offers of help. My immediate neighbours & a village iniative have offered & to me that's a lovely gesture which I will use only if I really need it.

My DD, who lives about 20 minutes away by car has had Covid-19, & is helping me once a week; I'm relying on supermarket deliveries every 2 to 3 weeks for the majority of my grocery & household shop. Of course we can't always get favourite brands, greedy people stockpiling are to blame for some of that. Being on one's own and on a very low fixed income to start with makes it difficult too. I would however, only take my "free" survival box if I was desperate, in the same way that I have never used a food bank as they should be there only as a last resort for those who literally have nothing.

We're always hearing about the greed and consumerism of the young but it sounds like the older people in some of GN's communities are pretty greedy & demanding too.

Tapdance...did I read that correctly?
‘My daughter is still working, has a disabled son’ and is doing your shopping DAILY!
Poor women...is there really any need for her to do this every day?

Many thousanfds of vulnerable, sick over 70s have been unable to get special shopping slots after applying for them. It is a MASSIVE problem. It has been discussed in the Welsh Assembly.

The "packages" are only available to single people where there is a terminal patient in the home and is only enough for one for a few days. They are emergency packages. The family still need help with other shopping

Co-ordinators and volunteers are not working out in half of all areas. They or their families become ill and councils and charities tell people on their own to ASK NEIGHBOURS.

These are times of emergency and no one was ready for it.

We do not want to be in a Spanish situation where elderly are being found dead after covid , on their own, no food in the house. Family far away and maybe dead themselves.

All over 70s have to stay in their houses, they cannot or must not go into any shop. Many did manage to get shopping slots but many were too late even after years of shopping o line. And many of these over 70s have conditions which make them vulnerable to Covid19 but they are not on the list. They would not survive it if they caught it trying to get food. Some have already caught the virus that way

Neighbourhoods must try and help. Not be critical and impatient. We ALL have to change our behaviour to save lives.

It's working well in many neighbourhoods. It is difficult to get some very elderly to understand the new rules but be firm, and stick to them. If shopping, only shop once a week and "only what's available".
If they are online and do not have slots try an advocate for them. It's best they shop themselves using their card but some supermarkets prefer someone applying for vulnerable elderly. It can take hours to try and get through to the supermarkets and the elderly cannot manage that.

God forbid we have neighbourhoods where elderly died from hunger because they were too scared to ask someone for help. Last weekend we saw some in my area living on porridge because they were chronically ill and knew no one in their area. They had always shopped on line but failed to get slots for weeks.

The supermarkets are full of goodwill but the demand is greater than they are capable of offering slots.

Many elderly are no longer getting regular agency carers and they are especcially vulnerable. Their neighbourhoods are asked to keep an eye and shop for them. Or cook them a meal , leaving it on the doorstep. There is no other help.

The "millions of volunteers" are probably in isolation, or ill themselves. As I said my whole cul de sac (15 houses) is in isolation from the virus or they're over 70. The charities are no where to be found.

We're a mixture of older people and young families on my road. The young family across the road put a note on everyone's doorstep, giving their phone number, and offering to pick up anything needed. The neighbours on either side of me have phoned me, before going out for any shopping, to ask if I've needed anything and I've done the same. I'm fortunate that, so far, I've been able to fend for myself.

The "spanish situation" was not due to lack of care.

Things are different in catholic countries. Many nursing homes are staffed by aging clergy who are themselves beyond retirement age. It was tragic but it was not a case of fit young people not bothering