When the time comes I’m not going into a Care Home

Hetty58, I don't see how you can make a blanket assertion about people not living long in care homes. Some do, some don’t - I believe the average is somewhere around 2 1/2. years. Obviously a lot is going to depend on the person’s general health at the start, and of course by definition the vast majority of people needing residential care will be physically or mentally frail, or both.

For the record, my mother moved into her (dementia-only) care home when she was 89, and was very well looked after until she died there at 97.

I know she was unusual, but there were other residents who lived there for several years, too.
And as I said before, it was by no means the most expensive home we looked at, either, though we did look at a lot before choosing.

Just a couple of interesting facts:
Only 5% of over 65s live in care homes and other specialist housing at any one time. See www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/reports-and-publications/later_life_uk_factsheet.pdf

I work alongside CQC and all of the inspections I've attended have been unannounced. I have never found that a resident not engaging with an activity would penalise the home, indeed resident choice and control are a priority in the assessments. It is not "easy" to get a good rating, multiple factors are taken into account including residents and relatives opinions and views.

So many of you are assuming that you will be in your right mind when you go into care. The majority of care home residents have dementia of one kind or another, or go there straight from hospital because they are incapable of managing at home. That is why 2 years plus is the average stay. Some are there only weeks or months. Two of the family members I was responsible for spent 6 years in their care home. One was there 18 months and another 7 weeks. It entirely depends on the reason and age they went into care and their state of health. The ones with the longest stays were in good physical health when they went in, but with mental problems. One with dementia and the other with depression. Those with the shortest stays, had terminal condtions when admitted.

Two years ago after being in hospital the hospital sent me into a care home for rehabilitation. I don’t know if it was because the NHS was paying but I was in a different part of the establishment to the paying clients on the top floor and it was very much below standard. The sheets on the bed were too small to cover the bed which was not made the week I was in there. I had to provide my own Tv. Owing to mobility problems I couldn’t walk to the Tv lounge because no walking aid was provided.
When I was in severe pain and rang for help I had to wait half an hour before someone came and said I would have to wait until the drug trolley came in an hour and half time.
One day I was not helped to shower or dressed and was left in nightie til next day.
I had to have a commode for the night. A heavy iron thing with no cover which they did not take away in spite of requests until midday so had to eat with that in the room. When they did take it they left it in the toilet doorway and I had to move it myself when I wanted to use the loo. Not an easy task for me.
It was hot sunny weather and the private patients were taken into the garden for a barbecue.
Worst week of my life like being in prison. Certainly was not a care home.

Sounds as though it was a bad one - they do exist sadly. But so do really good ones too I am glad to say.

What is happening is a total and absolute national scandal.