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Coronavirus

Feeling guilty

(69 Posts)
H1954 Wed 15-Apr-20 10:26:42

Humbertbear, you should NOT be visiting your mum. The management at the sheltered housing are totally wrong for allowing and encouraging it. Sounds like a cop out on their behalf, they are the ones paid to protect their residents!

Joesoap Wed 15-Apr-20 10:25:24

Do NOT feel guilty, you are doing the right thing,you are keeping conatct with your Mum by phone and keeping her safe.
Keep safe too.

H1954 Wed 15-Apr-20 10:24:18

With your own underlying medical conditions you should not visit your Mum. Do not feel guilty, by staying away you are protecting both her and yourself.

TrendyNannie6 Wed 15-Apr-20 10:19:05

Don’t feel guilty Anne107 we are being told to stay at home, humberbear, it doesn’t sound like self isolating to me, so wrong

Jaye53 Wed 15-Apr-20 10:16:46

Management are wrong too Humbertbear and tbey can get fined for breaking rules too.

Authoress Wed 15-Apr-20 10:14:10

Your sister should not be doing what she is - that is not an essential journey; your mother will have a local group of people who can do her shopping, meds, etc. You are doing the right thing!

Jaye53 Wed 15-Apr-20 10:12:05

Humbertbear your Mother is getting lots of visitors ie carer sister and you. Wrong so wrong.!!

Missiseff Wed 15-Apr-20 10:09:17

Your sister shouldn't be going in the house!! It beggars belief! And to stay with her?? When your sister is clearly out and about. What if she's carrying the virus, then passes it on to your mum?? Unbelievable.
Don't feel guilty, you're the one doing the right thing!

vampirequeen Wed 15-Apr-20 10:07:55

Don't feel guilty. You were doing the right thing. It wasn't as if you weren't keeping in touch.

Pippa22 Wed 15-Apr-20 10:07:41

Humberbear, totally isolating is being at home not popping to visit your mum twice a week. Your mum who had Carers and your sister visiting as well as you.
This is not following Government guidelines. Can’t you see the risk you are putting yourself in and also your husband, you could bring the virus home to him. He being vulnerable could easily catch the virus , then what ? I really cannot get why people cannot just understand what the Government is asking us to do. This virus is killing hundreds daily and people are just flaunting the advice. Stay home Humberbear, we all want to get out of this alive.

Sharnana Wed 15-Apr-20 10:03:53

My first post. Please don't feel guilty. My mum is 91 and lives alone. She has stopped all visitors including my brother and I. My brother lives 5 minutes from her and does her shopping which he leaves at her door. I let her make the decision about visiting as we were more likely to bring the virus in with us. Must admit I was relieved she decided not to let us come as I would have felt so guilty if she had caught it. We speak everyday ... sometimes two or three times. She's had a few wobbly moments but seems to be coping well. Take care all.

Disneyfan Wed 15-Apr-20 10:03:35

We are in similar situation. Father in law has carers 4 times a day but both sister in laws also visit. We wont go as per government rules but feel so guilty. I feel that they are exposing him to multiple risks.

tickingbird Wed 15-Apr-20 09:46:45

vickymeldrew She said a carer visits twice a week.

vickymeldrew Tue 14-Apr-20 22:58:16

Humbertbear, you say you are “totally isolating” and then say you are visiting your mum twice a week ! With all the comings and goings at your mother’s, you and your sister are putting her and indeed your vulnerable husband at risk. Please stay at home as instructed.

Humbertbear Tue 14-Apr-20 17:20:40

We are totally isolating because my husband is on the vulnerable list but I am visiting my mother aged 99 twice a week. My sister who lives alone pops in on the other days. The management of the sheltered housing have said we can visit and I spend my whole time washing my hands. However, my mother has at least two different carers in her house every day and I am more worried about catching the virus there than I am worried about giving it to her.

AGAA4 Tue 14-Apr-20 16:32:16

The instruction is not to visit anyone so no need to feel guilty.

suziewoozie Tue 14-Apr-20 16:28:35

You’d feel more guilty if you infected her on one of your visits - you’re doing the right thing.

phoenix Tue 14-Apr-20 15:08:44

No, Anne107 don't feel guilty, your mother is being well cared for, you are following guidelines and phoning every day.

Anne107 Tue 14-Apr-20 15:04:12

I live very close to my mum aged 88 years who is relatively healthy for her age but with mild dementia. My mum is also visited by a carer twice a week just to chat and ease the isolation. Mum is able to cook and wash herself. I am 66 and have heart disease, live alone and therefore I have also isolated myself. My sister who is 63, healthy travels from Surrey to London to visit mum and brings her food. (her husband drives her but does not go in to see mum). She visited mum yesterday and will be staying for one week with her as don’t want her being on her own. Prior to isolation I had made arrangements with my community for food to be delivered in particular for mum. My other sister who is also 62 is also on her own but lives in herts and I have 2 brothers - none of whom will visit mum as instructed by government. I feel awful fact I am too scared to leave my home to pop up and visit mum although I phone every day as does my brothers and other sister as well as her grandchildren. But I am feeling so wrong in not visiting her, but I am just too scared at moment.