Neighbour breaking lockdown

The point is not whether OP is at risk through her neighbour's behaviour.

She makes it clear that she is concerned about those her neighbour's family come into contact with.

Regulations that the government have put into place during this crisis are being ignored.

I think OP should ask herself whether if one of her neighbour's visitors got into a car and drove off, although obviously drunk, she would report that to the police? I know I would, and what they are doing is probably nearly as dangerous as drunk driving.

Maybe it's me.Maybe Im parochial. I'm avoiding the news lately anyway in my current state.Sick of the politicising generally.It's the little things in a community that make it or blight it.Litter,dog poo,anti-social loud music blaring out,burning nasty rubbish in your garden.I don't go around telling people off .I do litter pick a lot.And feel cross the dog foulers get dog owners a bad name.I accept there will always be idiots.But this crisis is showing a lot of great stuff going on in communities too.Maybe let's all focus on that.

My mum used to live in a block of flats, and referred her neighbours as nosy. I used to ask her what's the difference between nosy and keeping an eye out for everyone (but maybe taking it a little bit too far).
Yes these people are affecting us, not just directly. If someone walked past you with a gun, would you ignore it because they weren't shooting you?
The longer this goes on because people aren't sticking to the rules, the more people will die. And it could one of your family

It's great to take this opportunity to vent your anger on any subject with the rest of us, with very split responses here. As no-one really knows the circumstances of what goes on in someone else's home, I would not be reporting them.

My daughter is front line NHS, and this is why they are in so much danger! If they are bending the rules on this what else are they doing! Report them, is unfair on all of us doing the right thing and so unfair on the NHS! You can do anominously!!

I do not see how they could possibly be putting you at risk if you are sticking to the rules
Keeping to the rules doesn't guarantee you won't get the virus if other people are mixing. You can have it and pass it on without knowing you have it as some people are asymptomatic. You can pick it up from surfaces without knowing. My daughter has stuck to the rules and she has symptoms. But she works in a hospital and has obviously picked it up from someone either there or on her way there. Possibly from someone who had it without knowing it, and didn't adhere to social distancing rules.
We are all missing our families. I can understand why you are upset OP.

I am also seeing similar behaviour by my neighbour and feel extremely cross especially because her visitors have travelled from Holland to Berlin, which is where I live. I would not report her but my relationship with her will now definitely change. I also don't think it's fair to read comments like Chebacca wrote.

Has anyone else seen the article about the disabled lady who has been in tears since the police told her that she was having 'too many visits'? Those carers, hey! Coming back day after day, and sometimes two or three times in a day? What a scandal!
My point is that it may be the family are supporting the neighbour, not just turning up for jollies. I'd have to be VERY sure of my facts before I'd turn someone in. And very sure I could spend the rest of my life living next door to someone who hated my guts.

Yes I don't think you should think of reporting. You do what you believe is right, obey the advice. And that is it really. I live next door to an HMO (shared household of 5 adults - they have barbecues in the garden) ..it's legal. People are coping best they can. Some surprise us. None of it is completely rational. My worst experience was being accused of filming people exercising in the park. I wouldn't dream of doing that and it really upset me. It's like we are on the edge of distrusting neighbours like living under the Stasi. Resist this. Trust your friends and neighbours. People are getting paranoid. The police dont want to know. I really do think people are coping and obeying very well...and we need to. Dont make others lives more a trial than it already is.

Agree 100% with that Rocknroll, very well said.

I have read the posts on this thread and also posted myself, however in the last two hours from my bedroom window I watched two large ambulances and one small one arrive at a house just over to the back of me. All paramedics kitted up in gowns and masks and running into the house with equipment and bags. Several other occupants of the house stood outside all looking upset. The father was eventually wheeled out surrounded by the paramedics and some machinery on him. The ambulance then blue lighted to the hospital. All those people/neighbours that think they do not have to follow the rules should be ashamed of themselves. It really has shaken me up to see this close hand as so far it has felt it that only happens in other towns, it is very scary.

The reality is an element of visiting has to happen or we will be losing people in other ways. My elderly neighbour has her daughter visiting as otherwise she doesn't eat. She already looks painfully thin. We need to not be so quick to judge others for the simple crime of loving each other and not coping alone. The risk in these situations are minimal.

I think we could all find loved ones we want to visit only the message is if you do not live in that particular household then do not do it. It is not judging someone and all of us need our loved ones. The risk is not minimal in fact you could be signing their death warrant.
If an elderly neighbour has a daughter then the daughter should move in with her for awhile and do things properly that is the point too many people are flouting the rules.

I find it so interesting that people are saying “don’t report, it’s not worth falling out over”.

If my neighbours were blatantly ignoring the very serious advice to not mix households, I’d never respect them again. So either way, we would no longer have a relationship due to their entitlement.

I do wonder why we bother taking it seriously when plane loads of people from all over are arriving every day & dispersing unchecked amongst us all plus illegals floating in across the Channel.

Dont make others lives more a trial than it already is.

Shouldn’t this cut both ways? Not just “don’t snitch on people having family over” but maybe “don’t have family over, and possibly infect more people”?

Why do expressions like this only ever seem to want to defend the people doing things the wrong way?

I would report them, crass stupidity, ignorance, selfishness and downright dangerous

I only have control over my actions summerlove; I can't control the actions of my neighbours. I might inwardly judge them for their actions but it would never cross my mind to report anyone to the police because I don't know what's going on in their lives and households that's making them take risks.

Its not against the guidelines for my neighbours daughter to visit her. She has a disabled son at home too and next door is not suitable for his needs so the daughter has to go back and forth. No choice. You are allowed to visit vulnerable people. Again if both households are isolated the risk is minimal. So judging people who may be doing what they have to do is wrong. People having parties and hanging out in large groups is one thing, people taking care of vulnerable relatives is another. Unless you know all the ins and outs of the situation, you are just being judgemental.

3nanny6, I don't live in the same household as my Mother but I visit her every day sometimes more than once. I am her carer so there is no choice in the matter, she simply can not manage on her own.
The suggestion that I should move into her cramped one bedroomed sheltered accommodation flat is frankly ridiculous - and pointless as I would still have to come and go to do her shopping as well as shopping for my daughter who is also vulnerable.
Whilst there are some people who are clearly flouting the lockdown the majority aren't and there are many like myself who have to work within the rules the best way we can.

For the record, my Mother is much safer with me going in and out than she would be if we employed carers as they see many people and enter many different homes over the course of their working day - I only visit her and self isolate the rest of the time.

chewbacca, I didn’t say they should be reported.
Just that the reasoning is flawed if the only reason you aren’t reporting is to not “fall out”.

I'm glad my neighbours seem to be doing the right thing - if they are breaking rules I haven't noticed. For the most part I'm ignoring rule breaking I witness elsewhere. I've not seen much as I'm staying at home most of the time myself. I've had a few visitors dropping things off to me - medicines, homemade cake and veg from a friend's allotment, all gratefully received. Each time they have been left on the doorstep and the bell rung, then we've had a chat, with me at my door and the visitor at a suitable distance. I've made similar drop offs to a couple of people too. I don't know if dropping off a gift to a friend is strictly allowed but it certainly brightens a day when you live alone and see few people. The rest of the time we communicate on social media and have get-togethers on zoom. If this is breaking the rules I'm glad my friends have done so. My family all live hundreds of miles away and plans to meet at Easter obviously had to be cancelled so although video calls etc are lovely, seeing people in the flesh is so nice and everyone is keeping an appropriate distance. I've been out to clap for the NHS every Thursday and talked to neighbours - also at a distance. Last night I had a long conversation with a neighbour I'd never really spoken to before, despite living next door but one to her for many years as we are normally always at work and come and go by car. Hopefully when this is all over our relationships with neighbours will be strengthened as we've weathered a common storm. I certainly wouldn't want to spoil neighbourly relations by reporting inappropriate behaviour so I'm grateful I haven't really witnessed any. I think serious and repeated rule breaking would upset me but I'm still unsure if I'd report it. We rarely know the whole story and there may be circumstances we don't know about.

I appreciate that summerlove and to some extent I think you're right but, as I said, we can only control our own behaviour and as long as we're each satisfied and confident that we, personally, are doing what we're being asked to do, then that has to be enough. I would hate to fall out with my neighbours about it because we have to live alongside them (hopefully), long after this is consigned to history.

I’d hate to fall out as well. But I’d have a very difficult time respecting them going forward.

It's such a difficult one. Neighbours can be such a curse. I agree with other posts: they are risking infecting each other, even killing each other and do not care. They also do not care about putting added pressure on the NHS and this is also unforgivable. What can you do? I don't know the answer, but maybe just keep away and hope that they stop. If you report, they'll probably know it was you and that'll just cause even more aggravation fot you. Look after yourself and loved ones as you are doing.