Dark thoughts

Timetogo. So easy to say that. One should be able to express these feelings of despair that one gets now and then without being told the obvious This forum should be a good place to occasion let off steam.

Maybe Hetty58 has a husband or partner at home with her? That would make a huge difference. Someone on their own might be longing to get out and socialise!

Felt quite sorry for myself ( Scotland's Lockdown strict rules ) until I had a phone call from a relative to tell me about the death of a friend who was the real heart of her family . She was the same age as me and her husband , children and granchildren are shattered . He death was nothing to do with the current situation and really sudden. After I heard the news I though how luck we are to still be there for our families and with somew hope for the future.

Watching Simon Reeve on the Mediterranean Sea and the migrants working in insufferable conditions put things in perspective for me. One of the migrants said he wanted to go back home but cannot find work. So much for the benefits of the EU comes to mind when they were going to eliminate this legal kind of slavery. I count my blessings that I am alive, my family are happy and we are not starving. Let’s hope this ends soon and people will come up feeling gratitude for their lives

You can`t change today.
You can`t ulter the past that`s history.
But you should be possative about the future or you will make yourself ill with worry.

I have reached a state of acceptance and resignation.
I don’t feel I will get back to normal, or how things were, again.
I can’t get about as my hip is so much worse than it was 8 weeks ago.
I accept that I may never get it replaced as being over 80, I could be isolating for many months.
I also accept that I may never see my D and GC again.
Theses are my darkest thoughts at 3am.

However I will enjoy sitting in the garden, I am ever grateful for technology which enables me to see and speak to family and friends and I thank God everyday for my GD who lives with me and looks after me so well.
I am dreading the day when she has to go back to work, she is working from home at present.

I will be very down then.

Be kind to yourself Cornelia.

It's not trivial to miss the things you do, because they are part of huge changes in the whole world, not just single things that you can't do.

We are completely unable to plan for any sort of 'normal' and many of us are, in effect, in solitary confinement - which is well known to be a cruel punishment.

So if going for a walk, or doing meditation, or anything else (including avoiding the news) can help you to cope each day that is great, and is really all we can do.

You’re very black and white hetty I m not sitting weeping into my handkerchief and never counting my blessings and never shedding a tear for those worse off but that doesn’t stop me realising that my mood is lower than normal and that my motivation enthusiasm for ‘doing’ has dropped
Just because I m not jumping around enthusiastically finding new hobbies and running the streets doesn’t mean I m depressed or uncaring or unable to manage myself through this period but it also didn’t mean I ve got to say I m enjoying it

sodapop thank you!

Keep your chin up Cornelia and take each day as it comes. Meditation and deep breathing really helps me. Do try it. Lots of love to you ♥️

‘I’m all right Jack’ - can’t stand that attitude. Very self-centred!

We can’t help how we feel Hetty. We are all different and cope with things in different ways. Personally I have enjoyed lockdown and made the most of the peace and stress free way of life. BUT I miss family, friends and all my numerous hobbies I had before lockdown. It’s no good telling someone that they are self centred when they are feeling so down. Not helpful at all.

Exercise is definitely a great way to boost mood. I have a very energetic dog that needs long walks and always return feeling very calm and happy. It's quite amazing what a couple of hours walking every day achieves, physically and mentally.

My very elderly friend can't do much walking but still has a wonderful attitude.

She says 'I've already outlived my natural lifespan, so every new day is a bonus to be truly appreciated. I'm alive and not in pain, so that's brilliant!'.

It illustrates that, if you can't change your life, you can always change your attitude to it.

I’m guessing that, no matter how mentally resilient we are, all of us and going through ups and downs.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down at the moment CorneliaStreet so many people are struggling with low mood/depression at the moment.
Things are moving on little by little, I set myself small targets of things to do when I feel down then when its done I award myself a treat. Take each day as it comes and try not to fret too much about the future, we will deal with that when it happens. Bon courage.

Oh, I'm sorry, Cornelia, little typo.

Hetty58, it very much depends on the person. For some yes, panicking is overreacting, but don't forget about those whose mental health is fragile. I'm one of those people and I can't stand too much stress, that's why I decided that limiting the news is better for me. I'm not saying it's better for you or for anyone else, it just helps me. I guess, Conrelia is doing the same, she tries to help herself. Being upset about not having an opportunity to enjoy your life like you used to is not selfish, it's completely okay. You talk about caring for a terminally ill husband or bringing four small children up all alone and all these things are difficult, I agree! But not everyone has to do that, not everyone lives like you, or me, or Cornelia and it doesn't mean their problems are anyhow less than ours. People see something as their problem and it's not our business to judge them for that. If you don't consider not attending dance classes as a problem, that doesn't mean other people can't consider it as so.

Lucca yes, exercising is a great help, I agree. I'm glad there are people out there who feel the same and also have these blues.

BlueBelle thank you!! I agree about the constant news bombardment, it seems like there were no diseases before but my even my mother can't remember any lockdown or that much panic around any of them.
CathTheWise thanks! I do watch news sometimes, I just try to stay away from all these emotional parts of them, you know, those that include hospitals or intervews with the doctors. I know the situation is bad and I don't need another reminder of that. Even though it may seem selfish to some of us.

I disagree with Hetty. I have totally limited my news intake as far as future projections are concerned Otherwise I become just too unhappy, not having family anywhere near to even social distance visit. No idea at all when I shall ever see DS1 and family again.
I have worked out a modus vivendi of taking one day at a time,(and yes counting my blessings) and now taking advantage of being allowed unlimited exercise. I do plenty of online activities ( can’t do crafting to save my life.) but none of that some days stops the blues being out of control.

CathTheWise, panicking would be quite an overreaction to the threat, don't you think?

Not watching any news is trying a bit too hard to ignore the situation (although we mostly do ignore, most of the time). The unconscious mind then still works away on the problem, with insufficient reference to reality.

We can then easily overestimate the threat and impact on our own lives.

CorneliaStreet, yes, I do miss the freedom to explore, meet family and friends, do things on the spur of the moment. We all do. It's a temporary inconvenience, though.

Compared to really tough times, though, caring for a terminally ill husband, grieving, bring four small children up all alone - it's a complete breeze.

We are all part of society. I wish I could just ignore all the grief and suffering of others around me (as you seem able to do) and have the self-centred luxury of fretting over such trivial things.

After the first initial shock I'm getting used to it and watching other countries getting back to a new normal with all the extra safety measures, is reassuring. This virus has been an extra burden on top of our usual worries and problems. It's life and it's no good wishing it was like before. As others have said let's take a day at the time and go from there.

Hetty58 you say missing normal life is self centered I think your post sounds very self centered I m alright Jack good I m glad you are but I feel exactly like cornelias post I expect very little out of life and I m following all rules but it doesn’t stop me longing for thE day when I can give my friends and family a hug and sit in the sun or even watching the rain WITH someone Even just a wander around the shops and although I m realistic to know it isn’t going to happen tomorrow I can still long for it
It really makes me wonder how we all lived through Past pandemics (2 in my case) without this lockdown and without all the constant bombardment of the news

Cornelia, I understand you and I also hope we will go back to normal soon. You will be attending your dance classes and enjoying coffee with your friends but right now you should take care of your health first and your friends are doing it, too. Riverwalk is right, you better go back to watching at least some news to catch all the positive info. I'd also recommend diving deep into some home routine or hobbies, try to learn new things and distract yourself as much as possible. My DD also struggles through self-isolation but at least she can work remotely which helps her. You can do any freelance if you wish or maybe learn some computer programs just for fun. Here, on Gransnet, was a good thread of useful links, or I would recommend to try stuff by AMS Software, they have lots of entertaining things like collage makers, calendar creators, etc. Stay safe and good luck! Everything will be okay.

I’m looking forward to people adapting and creating ways forward with new ideas and inventions in response to the situation the world finds itself in. I’m always amazed at how the human mind has been blessed with the ability to innovate and resolve immense problems, and the desire to do so. (Unfortunately my brain will not be scaling theses heights!).