Feeling really low

Lizbethann55

I think you have said what a lot of us are thinking and feeling but maybe darn't mention it as it seems doom and gloom and the last thing we would want is to be shot down in flames and told to "pull our socks up".

Prior to Lockdown many of us had other problems to contend with, Lockdown was an added strain to try and contend with and somehow deal with it best we could/can.

We mustn't trivialize our problems, no matter how small as they are Big problems to ourselves .

Having someone to share these days/nights with must bring some comfort.

Many are on their own at home no pets to comfort.

A listening ear on Gnet is a comfort and to know there are many of us struggling right now, makes you realize we are not alone.

Keep posting, keep talking, each day is hopefully a step nearer to adjusting and eventually being able to once again do the things we probably took for granted.

On a lighter note ! I see someone has won the tickets to the isle of "Scilly" how lovely, I have often thought I would like to visit there, it looks so peaceful.

I was feeling very down this morning but friend had suggested we go for a picnic to local gardens. It has a beautiful laburnum and wisteria tunnel and several bench seats . We sat apart but could still talk. Came home much happier. Until today we had only spoken on FaceTime.

It is so sad reading some of the things people have written and I am glad no-one is saying "pull yourself together" because depression is a real illness. I certainly share concerns about what life may be like once we are released from lock-down and wonder how long it will take for things to become normal again as we remember it. Perhaps never? Certainly at the moment the world we may find ourselves living in is not particularly attractive. I was reading only yesterday that when/if department stores open they will have to restrict the number of customers either by pre-booking or letting people in once someone else has left, and the staff will all be wearing masks! A trivial example but perhaps indicative of what life may be like.

I am obviously much older than most of you, but I can honestly say I have no worries about myself, in fact I am quite enjoying lockdown. I have had a full and very happy life, including 50 years of absolute devotion from my late husband. My only concerns are about my lovely daughter and her husband, plus my three wonderful grandchildren. I do not envy them the world in which they are going to have to live. Truly my generation had the best and who knows, perhaps it isn't over yet.

Take care everyone, and never, never stop hoping!

If you're not in too much pain then you should be counting your blessings - sounds as if you have a lot of those, lucky you.

The day I heard that I would be locked down for another four weeks, I felt quite despairing. I wanted to have a good cry but I have Sjogren's Syndrome which has dried up my eyes and I have no tears. Although I can feel weepy internally, I needed to have real tears to give expression to my despair. All my nearest and dearest are 150 miles (and three trains) away. I have recovered, up to a point, but still feel reluctant to get out of bed - what is there to get up for? Today has been better because I've had the car battery re-charged and have been able to go round to a friend's house and sit with her - at well over 2 metres - in the sun in her lovely garden. You will tell me that this was against the rules, but why should we both have to go to a park and find adjacent benches when we both have perfectly good gardens where it is easy to stay distanced and have a good conversation?

I feel the same way about wondering if this is all life has to offer. I turn 79 on Sunday, I am in generally good health and had been very active prior to the lockdown. I live alone, have a nice home and financially OK, so I should be grateful. I actually never liked retirement but was able to a volunteer job I really enjoyed, completely different from what I had done for 35 years. now I am not allowed to do that. I live in the US and it makes me crazy as to how badly the pandemic has been handled here. the idiot in charge is ruining the country and i don't know what I will do if he gets another 4 years. As trained yoga teacher I try to remember to live in the moment but I find it so hard to not have anything to look forward to and to be faced with the possibility that it could actually get worse. sorry to be such a downer and i do have better days, just not today.

Thank you all so much for your messages, understanding and words of advice. You will never know how much they mean. Although I am so sorry to hear how many of you are struggling it is good to know that I am not alone. I am feeling better today. We went fof a walk in the park this morning, it was so lovely. May and June are without doubt my favourite months of the year. Then I potted up some plants that I ordered on line ( J Parker, Trafford, always brilliant quality). Perhaps next week we may venture to our local garden centre. Am still having to fight the urge to snap at DH, but am working on it. I did sleep well last night and am trying to drink far less coffee and am not watching umpteen news programmes a day. To those of you who are going through far more than I am, I send you all my love and best wishes. And to all of you who took the time to remind me that I am not alone, thank you so much. I wish we could all meet up for real hugs when this is all over. Xxx

I was very low yesterday too, it hit me as soon as I woke up, although I hadn’t slept well either. Still a bit low today. You are not alone and are perfectly entitled to feel this way. I think mine is about coming out of lockdown really as I feel we are all relatively safe at the moment and perhaps won’t be when we come out. I’m also trying to come to terms with retirement- I really envy those who really enjoy it and wonder how they found time to go to work. Do something nice for yourself to try and cheer yourself up - go for a walk, watch something you like on the tv, have a glass of wine but most of all, reach out for support whenever you need it. Sending love and hugs xxxx

This always makes me laugh. Mortimeridos on YouTube. It works ?

Lizbethan I'm sure several people on here have had days when they feel really depressed and worried for the future. I know I have. To some extent, you have to just wait for it to pass but you can help by trying to be pro-active - do something you enjoy or that you would like to get better at. I have been doing more art and feel I am improving - which is quite a positive thing. There are free courses online. I'm doing a FutureLearn one on Forensic Psychology and there are lots of other subjects, including Creative Writing I believe.

I don't think it will help to get resentful of another age group. I do understand how it can happen because as you get older you realise you have much less time left than younger people, who probably don't get the "life's too short" message (I think only older people understand what that means). However, it appears that younger people are more likely to have lost, or to face losing, their jobs. They are often in insecure, rented accommodation and have not had the income or time to save much for exceptional circumstances like these. I have seen interviews with young people who are worried sick and very depressed when they think about the future.

I have been retired for 10 years and realised it was up to me whether I sat at home and got steadily less mobile and more out of touch with my friends, my interests and the world in general. Surely there is more to life than work (although, of course, it is a necessity if that is your only income).

The later part of your post made me laugh, Lizbethann55, I certainly have good days and bad ones, I live alone, am furloughed from my job and have been moaning to my family, whom I haven’t seen since lockdown, is this what retirement is going to be like, cos if it is I ain’t looking forward to it... But of course it won’t, things will ease off and we will have the freedom to visit friend, go on holiday, go out for meals, hug our families again... all good things come to those that wait.... what is a few months in the grand scheme of things. Chin up.

i really know how you feel and sympathise, feeling a bit that way myself but also feel incredibly guilty for feeling down, we have not been out, my husband being in the very vulnerable category , i think we are now six weeks in. lost track of time never mind what day it is so we are probably half way through our lock down, i do realise that we wont starve and have managed to get a home delivery slot with our local asda but i so miss nipping out to the shops for bits and pieces i need, normally i would shop around for different things.. aldi , home bargains etc , we normally have a stock of pain killers in for my husband who have numerous health problems but the stock is dwindling ,they can only be bought at the chemist so, apart from asking someone to get them we are stuck, we did ask our daughter to buy them if she happened to go to the chemist in tesco, not to make a special trip , shes obviously took us at our word as this was nearly a week ago, its so frustrating, my poor husband is a bit of a moaner, all day every day i am hearing about his different aches and pains, , they are varied and i do sympathise but sometimes it all gets too much, sorry about the rant, its over now

This could cheer you up... The International Space Station can clearly be seen in the evening over the UK

www.forbes.com/sites/jamiecartereurope/2020/05/19/when-where-and-how-you-can-see-a-very-bright-spaceship-above-europe-this-week-with-your-naked-eyes/#2c1bff5b3fd4

Hope the link works...

Lazypaws I had no idea what initials: DH; DD; etc., meant either but I've just noticed an 'Acronyms' tab at the top of each page. Click on that and you will find the answer.

We all have wobbles, even in normal times: some days are better than others. I think it is eminently understandable that feel as you do.

As others have said, try to accept the situation as it is now (we can't change it, much 'though we would love to) and take one day at a time.

There will be a moment when an announcement is made that the Coronavirus has been beaten and just as there is no longer the Black Death or Spanish 'Flu, we will return to our old lives.

We are humans and we can adapt and modify our behaviour. Perhaps you could write a list of positives and see if there is anything that interests you. Most of us have more time now, so be grateful you can learn that language or paint that picture, all the things that you never had time to do. Most of all, your life can become better.

Sending warm wishes - it WILL get better, but I totally understand your feeling this way. I am 62 next week and feel this is MY time for enjoying life, and don't want to be cooped up any more.
We are in Israel where things are opening up quite fast now, I am sure you will be getting there soon.
Take care
P60

I get totally what the lady means. We know that we are grateful for what we have bu sometimes underlying worries come out when our support system isn’t as in tact. That can be our hobbies and especially family and friends. My depression has come back terribly, I was fine pre lockdown and have had counselling last year and turned a huge corner.

I agree what she said about younger people looking back on this. We cut the grass and spruced up the house for selling up and hopefully this week it goes up for sale, maybe a stupid time to do it but I don’t want to waste time where I live, I hate it and lockdown has made me realise more so.

I’m up and down though too, x

I am on my own. It has by made worse in that moved last August I am now regretting it. It is 2.5 miles from where I used to live and I knew everyone. I cannot meet up with my two friends who are on their own like me. In fact I have seen s house back were I lived and am viewing it today. Just want to go back to what I know.

Lazy paws it is not the case that simply being 70 means you can’t go out. You have to isolate only if you have received a letter says that you are extremely vulnerable.

I know how you feel but my Mum is 88 and I haven’t been able to see her since lockdown as she lives 300 miles away. I phone her every day and when I remark how cheerful she sounds she just tells me that she has no choice but to remain cheerful and optimistic! That puts me in my place! One thing I do recommend is that a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling totally aimless I signed up with ancestry.co.uk and I am finding it fascinating and I am having to restrict myself on the time I spend on it as 2 hours can go by in a flash and every day I find out new interesting facts. Right now I am sunbathing and making the most of the lovely weather. I FaceTime my little Grandson at the same time every evening and as soon as I get up each morning I do an online Pilates class so I think a bit of routine is a good thing. Hope this helps!

Lizbethanne Sorry to hear you re feeling so down .If it helps to hear you re not alone reading the threads I hope knowing that helps you a bit and everyone else too .It does nt matter what you have or haven’t those feelings are real .
Lock down is surreal everything is magnified.Its mental health week I m sure that everyone is aware of the effect of this on them so ask for support from family and friends even from a distance or video link .Maybe also try to have a video link with your GP you sound to be suffering from depression? Sometimes having someone objective rather than subjective to talk through your feelings could be the answer .The fact that you can’t enjoy everything that’s good points to depression to me even though the situation is the same for us all now .Every surgery has its system but you should be able to start with a phone consultation then hopefully go from there and have some well deserved support and medication if that’s required.Good luck take care you must look after you .
Big hug to all our Grans out there and their families.
We will move somewhere with this eventually.

Lizbethann. How brave you are to open up like this. Sorry that you are feeling so down. But, just look at all these posts? At least you know that you are not the only one who is sick and tired of feeling that there may not be much of a future.

At the beginning of lockdown here in France, I was panicking. I have stopped having crazy dreams now, no nightmares, no lying awake feeling desperate and being fearful for the future.

Nothing has really helped change this other than some things I have read over and over. The first is not to bother too much with "news" of all kinds. I could sit in front of the t.v. and just howl all day and all night at the sadness and desperation illustrated there. I can't change any of it, so I need to accept that and stop feeling desperate that I should be doing something. 10 minutes a day is enough for me, thanks.

Don't just wallow and do nothing. If you really don't need to lie in bed and sleep, then sometimes, all it takes to shift a mood is get on with something: a lovely bath or a long shower, a different outfit, a phone call, some time spent doing almost anything you want around the house and garden.

Don't forgo exercise. The actual rhythm of walking, stopping to look at the views, smelling the fresh air and feeling the wind and sun on your face can be just enough to stop the "blues" spiralling down into black moods and depression. Not always, but you have to give yourself that chance.

Look after something, really care for it, whether that's your garden, your window box, your cat, dog, hamster, goldfish, or your other half.

Make a plan to do something pleasurable every day.....and actually do it. Just being able to end the day feeling that you have achieved (and taken control) of something you really want to do - even if it's just putting fresh flowers in the house or painting the garden shed or making some exotic food to eat.

Try not to think too far ahead. When I start asking "when", "how long" "what if?" I generally start to feel defeated and dispirited. Things will change, they have to, we can't all just be doomed to live out our days in our present situation. We will doubtless get a vaccine which will help.... or the bloody thing will just go away. We don't know. Nobody knows, so there again, no point in worrying ourselves into a heap about it.

Do hold on to the positives in your life. You don't need to think that things could be so much worse, but. you do need to make every day count - even if it's not how you would choose to pass your days at this time.

And don't worry about retirement. Retirement for almost everyone I have known has always resulted in people saying "I'm amazed and I wonder how I EVER had the time to work!" Seriously, you will have a happy retirement - and if you try it and you decide that you don't feel it's enough, you will be able to take your time and find some work to do which will be the answer just for you.

Believe it. All these lovely people on here can't be wrong.
And you'll feel better soon. Hugs from France.

I felt like that yesterday. I live on my own and was miserable all day. Gave myself a talking too, had an early night and felt far more positive this morning. We are in a very strange situation and it’s not easy to be cheerful all the time.

Hi and you start your post by saying you don’t know why you feel so down and later explain exactly why. The way you’re feeling is completely valid and although comments about appreciating the small things are well meaning, I personally don’t think they’re that helpful actually. It is only when we fully experience our feelings, can we begin to see how to change things. By acknowledging that you want more from life (and I’m with you there!) , I think you will start to see the way forward. It’s true that some things and experiences may not be possible now...or in the near future...but you may be able to make plans for a couple of years time. As like me, you’re approaching retirement, I think it’s likely we have some life ahead of us yet! And although our previous plans may have to change, there is lots I'm sure, that we can do. We can still make memories, so don’t give up yet! Think of some things you want to do -maybe for next spring or summer-and the interim time will be easier to handle. Be creative in your ideas and don’t talk yourself into premature old age! The sun is out here today and I hope you can find some small way of enjoying it.?

Took my nearly 88 year old Dad to rob the bank this morning. His third trip in 8 weeks. He would murder a pint ? Like he said, doesn't take a rocket scientist to do social distancing .