Is it just me?

I have been fine. I have lived alone since my husband died three and a half years ago. I am used to going out quite a lot but, I am lucky in having a garden and a wonderful neighbour who has picked up a prescription for me. Thanks to Ocado, I have had no problems getting groceries. I keep busy sewing masks, reading and using phone, Zoom etc.

However, when we heard that we could have family visiting in the garden, keeping required distance, I ‘lost it’. The thought of my daughter and her partner driving a good hour to get here and then not being able to hug them, feed them or even give them a cup of tea, was too much. I have told them not to come. They do understand but, I am finding it difficult.

My sister, who lives in the same town and has also isolated, is planning to come over for ‘afternoon tea’ bringing her own supplies. Luckily, there is a loo just inside the front door. It is not used unless I have visitors so, if she gets desperate, I am sure she could safely use that. I need to remember to flush it and run the taps before she comes because of the Legionnaires disease. Anything else I need to worry about ??

I agree that we all need to be careful still despite the relaxation in the restrictions. My life consists of home and garden, walks in quite areas, a few distanced visits in gardens and 2 very quick food shops in the last 10 days. I’m lucky to have a delivery slot each week. I fully realise how lucky I am but this isn’t the life for me. Before my life was all about being with others and not spending much time at home. The lockdown has given me too much time to think and too much time for tedious activities such as housework which O would normally rush through. I’m sticking with what I know is right but it’s getting harder each day. In case of any misunderstanding I’m grateful everyday for my good fortune in keeping healthy and having a loving family and a pleasant home.

All pretence has gone from it being a lockdown situation. It has been helped by Cummins and his hapless wife. She wrote an article about it it in the Spectator. Two fingers up to the rest of us and the NHS, of which my children are part of. They feel furious with them.
To think that these two powerful rich people hadn’t got one single friend to help them, not one. I believe that they have relatives in London.
Even if you swallow ‘ I drove to Barnard Castle to test my eyesight’ tale, how can anyone believe that she didn’t mention where they were in her Spectator article.accudently? It was devious and deliberate.
All pretence of a lockdown has been blown out of the water by them and others ( although they have resigned) behaviour.

We have a large static caravan on our property which will be ideal when we end up having visitors for picnics in the garden. They'll be able to have their own washing and loo facilities and I'll be able to stock the fridge with drinks a few days in advance.

They'll then be able to use Flash with bleach to clean up when they leave.

No way am I going out and socialising, I have a medical condition and until results are showing a lot less cases and rates of spread are next to nothing I am staying put.
I do go out....... Drive my car into the next village and back thus keeping the battery charged, back in my village I stop at the cemetery to check on my darlings grave.

MawB. Dear Maw, I actually read the contents before looking to see who wrote the letter! Having read the headline in my emails I raced to read the text and found it so much described me and I was so much in tune with every sentiment.
Please do not feel you are entirely alone, I for one am in the same situation and there are so many more of us here on GN and further afield.
I was a little shocked when my children (several hours drive away) started texting and phoning me more during the lockdown. I kept saying "Well, actually it's the same as before for me except I've arranged to have my milk delivered at 3x the price. " I hardly ever went out and did not see anyone from one week to another except for late night forays to the coop for milk and veg. Late night because that guaranteed I could park outside and manage to walk in without too much excruciating pain.

I agree that between those of us who tried to keep the rules and reduce the virus spread by staying at home, there was a lovely camaraderie. I was so shocked at how suddenly we jumped rom stage 4 orange which was still very threatening to apparently stage 5! Without anything in between! But then nothing makes sense any more. Indeed it reminds me:

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and
I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
John Lennon

Please do not feel alone Maw or anyone else who is at home on their own. There are so many of us. We need to support one another.

Finally, having seen the pictures of the hoards on beaches and the mess, I am quite happy to avoid that!

MawB, it's always been 'them and us' especially around here with many ignoring the 'rules'. The 'all in it together' was just an illusion, cultivated deliberately to encourage us to comply. The government only expected 80% compliance anyway.

It doesn't really matter one jot what everyone else is doing. They risk being part of the next batch in ICU. Herd immunity (slowed down) is the name of the game, after all!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janeayressister. My sentiments entirely. We were kept inside by a regime of fear. The government has a group (Behavioural Insights Team) studying the psychological methods of making people change their behaviour without them realising that is what is happening. Creating and maintaining fear is the best way to make people do what you want them to do. Fear of a particular threat to all is best. As Henry Kissinger said (one wonders what they were planning, obviously someone said the people would object, but he had his answer to that, see upload) So 1. Have a threat, real or not (the virus may or may not have happened spontaneously, there are so many coincidences concerning it that I am sceptical.) 2. Say you, the Leaders, are going to beat the threat so long as everyone does as they are told.
It was obvious early on that the rules we followed because of fear of the power of the virus were not meaningful to the rule-makers. Why not? Because they had no fear of the virus changing due to their rules. They always knew more than we did. The statistics they gave out were always dubious. It is not possible to trust our government.
Again, my mind keeps thinking:

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and
I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
John Lennon

It seems fine to "meet" people in gardens in this lovely weather but what happens when the weather changes. Will it still be feasible when the Autumn comes?

We know several people who are medics and they’re all so sure that there’ll be a second spike, so no, apart from a walk some days, we’re going nowhere!!
Daughter came yesterday with her Thermos Coffee mug and we sat in the garden. She also came on Saturday to trim the back of my hair, but she was gloved and masked !
I can’t believe the number of people who seem to be taking the attitude, well it’s almost over now, it’s NOT !!
We’re not classed as vulnerable apart from the over 70 bit, but someone who keeps in touch with us through the Alzheimer’s Society is horrified that we haven’t been contacted, husband has Vascular Dementia, Parkinson’s and COPD, stroke 2 years ago.

I agree with Maw and many others. It is too early to relax the lockdown. We have lost 4 to this virus that includes my father. When I saw the photos taken on the beach at Durdle Door I just thought give it a few weeks and we will be back in lockdown. Sadly it’s the ones who flaunt the lockdown rules that will cause serious problems for others. This virus is definitely not just the Flu. It’s a killer.

merlotgran. So you weren't serving Flash with Bleach cocktails to your guests then?

Did you see the tweets following the Trump Bleach gaff? People saying what their preferred tipple was. I said Boris preferred DOMestos,

gingergirl - re masks, you have that the wrong way round,. Wearing a mask may help to prevent YOU passing on any infection to others, but has no effect in helping you not be infected.

I do wonder at people wearing these outside. If they have any sort of cough or cold or any other symptom, they should be self-isolating, and not going out at all. If they do not, then wearing one outside is pointless. Being outside has now been proven to be much better in preventing infection being passed.

Problem is there are so many myths, inaccuracies and half-truths about this virus. (Let along the extraordinary stupid and dangerous stories about 5G, birds, airoplane trails, etc. etc.), that people just make it up as they go along.

JanT8. I agree about 2nd spike. There has always been one as far as I can see from my internet research - luckily I have access to medical research papers so I'm not talking about 'fake news' on facebook! What actually makes me fearful is that so far the young have been spared the worst. I am so frightened that the second spike might have cleverly mutated to be more potent and to affect the young more. Ian Sample and Nicola Davies wrote a good article on 22 May in the Guardian, "Will Covid-19 mutate into a more dangerous virus?"

This sums up how a lot of people feel!

Franbern. I agree. Unfortunately the toxic materials in aeroplane vapour trails have been analysed. But there are still people reporting crazy things so it's important to know your source and check their validity. Similarly with 5G, the concern of people who are campaigning to have it safety tested is that there are no tests to prove it is not harmful to people. Basically it is strong microwaves and one would expect that there would be safety regimens around it. Only 'nutters' say it causes the virus. However, some people have an argument that proposes it weakens the immunity and reduces health generally in those exposed to it therefore such people would logically be more prone to catch any disease going round.
I have no belief or view on the matter as I have no knowledge of this area. I remain an unbiased observer. However I will shoot down any dangerously frightening claims that are obviously scaremongering and untrue.

Twig14. That is terrible to hear. I am so sorry for you and all your family. ?

JanT8. surely your husband is very vulnerable? Of you are having any difficulties do get in touch with your GP. They may have made a mistake in not adding him to the list.

I went into m&s food hall today first time since lockdown and although the floor was marked out according most people were taking no notice whatsoever. I felt very uneasy and won’t be going in again anytime soon. One woman came right up behind me and reached over to get something off the shelf - unbelievable! I have to say though the majority of those who were ‘tunnel visioned’ were over 70, of which I am not (just!) some even scooting about in electric wheelchairs. It beggars belief! You would honestly think the virus had magically disappeared! I really don’t think I’m paranoid or over cautious unless you folks tell me otherwise!

I know exactly what you mean MawB.
When ‘we were all in it together’, it felt perfectly acceptable and safe to stay in.
Now it is if a light is shining on those of us who don’t have big groups of friends, maybe friends more spread out, who don’t want to rush to meet, and are happy with a phone call, email or zoom, or have quieter interests.
As someone said, it seems like the world is divided into two camps at the moment.

ALANaV what you have said in your post is very sensible and I totally agree.I can understand how some people may have lost a bit of confidence though.

I am shielding and must admit I am in my little bubble. My partner is working, solitary, and I see my children at a distance. One friend has come into my garden. I went to the Hospital today for a regular blood test and was talking to one of the nurses. Her friend works on the Covid ward and she said it is scary and what the people with the virus are going through is terrible. My little bubble got dented, so any thoughts that I may have had about getting back to normal have certainly gone out of the window so to speak. I would rather keep safe.

I am 67 years old with no known health problems. I haven't been to any shops for over 10 weeks, everything has been done on-line even though I'd never done on-line shopping before. I shall not be going to any shops or anywhere else as the virus is still there, the same as it was 10 weeks ago. I shall continue to stay safe by staying at home and enjoying one lot of exercise each day.

In some strange way.....and most of the time .....I’ve come to a place where, without really thinking about it I feel safe, secure and quite content with this cocooned lifestyle now. Initially at the start of quarantine I felt confused and frustrated at how these restrictions were impacting my normal active outward focused life. But I knew I had to find a way to come to terms with these changes which were to become the new ‘normal’ , or otherwise I would be existing in a state of anxiety and frustration.

So I took a hard look at my limited options and sort of narrowed my focus. I hoped to find pleasure in what I could do.....a little more time and interest in baking .......setting up a yoga space, learning how to navigate Zoom so I could take daily yoga sessions, when the weather cooperated, spending pleasurable afternoons working in my little garden, or deciding to dust off my bike and ride around the neighbourhood looking at other peoples gardens coming into bloom. And by having so few options to fill my days I gradually relaxed into a far more pleasurable routine than I could ever have imagined.

And now, as everything starts to open up, I’m just not sure I’m ready or even want to be tempted back into that hurried outward focus existence that I lived in pre Covid 19.