Friend breaking lockdown rules?

There is a growing army of those who believe social media misinformation, including that flu is more dangerous than Covid, conspiracy theories, anti vaxxers, science deniers, you name it, many causes are joining together, as witnessed by the city demos seen recently.

My sister is amongst them.

How is it that people still think flu is more dangerous!

I am just trying to decide how to classify your sister's visit: education, work or caring!?

Just shows how tricky rules can be Luckygirl I didn’t know that.

I am pretty sure my sister didn’t either. Her motivation I suspect was mainly to see an old boyfriend living near to mum’s, whom I think she stayed with for the night!

She believes risk of Covid is rather hyped and flu more dangerous, so imagine that is what she based her risk assessment on

It is hard - one of the rules apparently is that you can leave a lockdown area for the purpose of caring tasks, so maybe this is how your sister interpreted it.

I am guessing that the flexibility is there concerning education, work and caring, so that people who are just outside the lockdown area are able to get on with these things. For instance, lots of people near me have to travel in and out of Wales to get to work.

It is a minefield of interpretation.

I don’t think you are being judgemental Luckygirl, the rules can be tricky, but I have felt that I have been on occasion.

We are not in a lock down area, but my younger sister felt no compunction about leaving her lockdown area to visit my elderly house bound frail mother, putting her and carers at risk. She had travelled by taxi and train!

Some friends have also done some daft things, which I wouldn’t do, not because of the rules, but because it is risky.

I am not judging her!!!! - how many times can I say this??!!!!! She would not be hurt by this thread!!!!

I was just interested in how others might have dealt with their situation - the rules are quite hard to interpret in some situations. I have every sympathy for their dilemma.

How horrendous for the children - all that travelling every day.

"Be kind" I wonder where that went, I'm not and never have been bothered about what my neighbours do.

I think you are spot on *MawB2. I wonder if your reaction is coloured by the feeling that as a friend, you might have expected her to see things differently so you feel let down?

I have felt similarly during this pandemic and have been quite surprised by the behaviour of those I know well.

The only thing I can do is accept that they have motivations and reasons for how they behave, and similarly I can only do what I feel is right for myself and try not to be too judgemental. Doesn’t always work, we’re only human

Yes Chewbacca asking people to report on neighbours is to me the worst thing that the government has asked us to do. It smacks of 1984 and Big Brother when children spied on parents. I am lucky with my neighbours but as Candy6 has pointed out we don't always know the background of why someone may decide to stretch the rules. As long as we keep safe ourselves there should be no real need to report others unless of course there are extreme circumstances.

I am one who usually follows rules but as I am at risk have used my own knowledge about how a virus spreads to inform my responses regardless of what the government allows. Before and during lockdown, during the easing of restrictions and now in another tightening of the rules I have met up with DC and DGC regularly, outside either in local fields, on walks or in my garden always no nearer than 2 metres. Yes I am lucky that they do live near. On one occasion all 3 families ended up by fluke to play at the local play area and I joined them - 2 metre distance of course. I knew that none of them were likely to be infected whereas I would not be sure of that had any group of us met in a pub or restaurant among others, even outdoors. I can't understand why this time outdoors has suddenly become less safe. Nor do I get the word 'mingling' How do you do that at 2 metres apart?

I have visited a supermarket only twice, taking all the proper precautions. Twice I have attended a socially distanced barbecue in my DS's garden (only one family and 5 of us). On rare visits to the local shop I wear a mask, don't touch anything other than my purchase and pay contactless.

No family and only two necessary workmen have entered my house since last March. I kept the distance and sprayed everything they touched when they left. The closest contact I have had otherwise was a very overdue optician appointment and my flu Jab.

On the other hand last week I was urgently required for childcare in an emergency and went to another DC's house for a few hours. Under current rules, living alone, I could have called it a bubble (though I have never seen the sense in that) or as necessary childcare. I would have done it regardless of rules as it was absolutely necessary and family matters most. I had a bath and washed my clothes when I got home.

I think most of us on here are capable of using our common sense.

You can only do what you can to keep yourself and your own family safe and try not to worry about what others are doing

Well said Candy6. This phenomenon of watching neighbours with suspicion is causing misery to those who watch and those who are being watched. I wish it would stop.

My County has just gone into lockdown again. We are allowed to do childcare though which I will be doing. We are not supposed to see our daughter indoors though. We have, however, decided that we are going to because she needs our support at the moment as she is going through a difficult time and is having medical treatment so why wouldn’t we want to support her? We are all careful, sensible and have been following the rules but sometimes, you have to make difficult decisions. What I’m saying is you don’t always know what’s going on behind the scenes and people can be quick to judge. You can only do what you can to keep yourself and your own family safe and try not to worry about what others are doing.

I wonder if your reaction Luckygirl is coloured by the feeling that as a friend, you might have expected her to see things differently so you feel let down?
People can be strange under pressure and unfortunately even our good friends can sometimes disappoint us. Who knows the heartsearching they may have undergone before they decided on this course of action.
You will of course let it go and stick to your own principles and ”To thine own self be true”

I am sure that the family are doing what they feel they need to in their situation in these difficult times. Very tiring for all concerned. Buying a caravan to have in the grounds whilst the house is being built to live in during the week comes to mind but they might not have space. Also sure there are not many spare caravans around ! The pandemic is just so stressful for almost everyone isn’t it ?

Maybe someone could show this thread to the neighbour and they can enlighten us as to what their AC are doing all day. Maybe they could wear bells when returning to the tiny village so you know to get out of their way.
This family aren't breaking the rules by doing what they are doing they are trying to do their best under extremely difficult circumstances.
How hurt your friend would feel if she read this thread.

I am lucky that I do not live alone, but my AC with 2 young GCs live over 100 miles away, and we shall not see them again this year now that the children are back in school.

I guess each person has to decide what level risk they are willing take depending on their own situation and health. If I believe my friends are cavalier about risk, I don’t meet up with them, but keep in touch other ways, and explain why.

It’s a tricky path to tread but I wouldn’t want to put others at risk by my behaviour.

Take it the parents of the children aren't working being able to be away from hone so long and so often. Lucky them. I think they will be reluctant to inform the school they don't actually live in the area as yet, catchments and all that. Whilst education may be one of the exceptions, think this family may be stretching the lockdown rules travelling 50 miles each way. My thought would be if you live just outside the lockdown area and your school is just within the line then yes, travel for education would be acceptable. 50 miles, doubtful.

Whole restrictions situation is ridiculous. 1 daughter has 2 children attending same school, with different 'bubbles', 1 attending nursery with her own 'bubble' and 1 older child at another school with a whole year group 'bubble' but travelling on a bus mixing with lots of pupils from all other year group 'bubbles'. Not much limiting of contact there - but apart from the youngest, all others have to attend school.
Family aren't allowed to visit or give support.

Mooney59 - worrying about others is what civilised people do; especially in a pandemic as we are all very dependent on the behaviour of others in order to stay well.

I am not criticising my friend - I am seeking clarification about the rules and looking at ways of staying safe.

I respect their decision and recognise they are in a bind.

Sorry, double post.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Just be careful everyone and use common sense.

No, just be careful and follow the rules! They're not that hard. I'm in Scotland too and I've worked them out. As have most people who take the time to think about it. Luckily we don't have the buffoon in charge of the rules here so we've got more chance of getting the proper messaging.

BlueBelle

Strange that both parents have so much time on their hands don’t they work in the daytime ??

No one can work out what any of these rules or advise is can you, can’t you, it’s all utter nonsense all you can do is what feels right for you I think the bubble thing is a total waste of breath because you could still pass it between you in a bubble then go to the local shop and pass it to someone else I think all these rules are. just to make it seem like something is being done
Do what is right for you and yours and forget everyone else

Bluebells I totally agree with you. I'm in Scotland and our instructions can differ from morning to evening. I'm so confused that I'm going to be using my own common sense on what I do. The fact that we cannot meet someone in a house but can meet them in a cafe or pub ???
Just be careful everyone and use common sense.

Get on with YOUR life and stop worrying about others.

Nothing any of us do these days is entirely about ‘us’. We must all think of those around us as well as ourselves otherwise we will not survive this pandemic. Having said that, I do agree that it’s important for the child to be in school. I just hope the family are aware that they are endangering those around them and are taking extra precautions. The grandparents must realise that they are putting themselves at risk and it seems wrong that their children are happy for them to do so. Having said that my biggest fear these days is that my family might catch the virus or that they might lose their jobs. If the latter was under threat I think I’d end up risking my own health to help them. We live in horrible, strange times do we not (sad).