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Friend breaking lockdown rules?

(49 Posts)
Luckygirl Mon 28-Sep-20 10:16:03

In my tiny village there is a retired couple who currently have their DS and family staying with them - the two GC go to school about 50 miles away where their parents are buying a house. They are stuck with GPs while the house purchase gets sorted.

The family do a 100 miles round trip each day to take the children to school. The school is now in a lockdown area because of an increase in cases, but they are still taking the children in and back each day, and killing time in this lockdown city while awaiting the finish of the school day.

I was quite surprised to hear this as the rules state that you should go neither in nor out of the city unless absolutely necessary. If it were me I would organise home schooling via the school rather than go back and forth.

I was hoping that our village might be a little non-virus haven! I am keeping away from the family as are may others, but chatting on zoom.

I have frankly lost the plot with all the rule changes - I chose not to bubble with either of my local AC, as it seemed invidious to make a choice; but even if I was bubbling, it seems to me that the whole bubble thing has been blown out of the water by the rule of six. If I went over to my chosen bubble DD during the day when children are at school, they could legitimately have 4 other people there. How then am I even remotely protected by being in that bubble?

Mamardoit Mon 28-Sep-20 10:18:35

I thought people were allowed to travel for education, work and to care for relatives.

kittylester Mon 28-Sep-20 10:19:16

I think the current rules are 'except for work, education or caring'

But I can understand your concern, lucky.

B9exchange Mon 28-Sep-20 10:22:36

I would consider taking the children to school an absolute necessity. It would not be worth the parents returning home only to set out again to collect them, and what would happen if one of them hurt themselves and needed a parent quickly?

If you want to keep away from them, that is your risk assessment, but I cannot see that they are doing anything wrong.

OceanMama Mon 28-Sep-20 10:26:45

I understand the concern too but you don't know what other factors are behind the parents' deciding it is worth it to make such a big drive for their children to attend school in person each day. I wouldn't worry about it and just keep my distance if you're concerned.

glammanana Mon 28-Sep-20 10:35:50

I'm sure arranging home schooling would be the better option I would be worried about the "killing time" whilst the children where in school, I would think the parents stand more chance of picking something up whilst waiting for the school day to end.

JenniferEccles Mon 28-Sep-20 11:52:40

If I was in the grandparents’ situation I would do exactly the same for my family.

I am not a fan of this spying on neighbours habit.

Kate1949 Mon 28-Sep-20 11:57:22

We are in this semi lockdown here. We are not allowed to visit our family and they are not allowed here, houses or gardens. We can meet others from one household in a cafe etc. Also childcare, carers etc are exempt.
As far as I can see, very few people are complying. Yesterday, one neighbour had her mum, a couple of friends and their children over.
Another couple had family in all day yesterday.
We are sticking to the rules and haven't seen family since we were told not to. I don't know why we bother.

BlueBelle Mon 28-Sep-20 12:00:32

Strange that both parents have so much time on their hands don’t they work in the daytime ??

No one can work out what any of these rules or advise is can you, can’t you, it’s all utter nonsense all you can do is what feels right for you I think the bubble thing is a total waste of breath because you could still pass it between you in a bubble then go to the local shop and pass it to someone else I think all these rules are. just to make it seem like something is being done
Do what is right for you and yours and forget everyone else

DiscoDancer1975 Mon 28-Sep-20 12:01:54

Gosh, what a long way to go to school, they must be exhausted. I would be inclined to home school, unless the house purchase is going to take ages. Could they go to a local school just temporarily. I know it sounds a faff, but it’s way to far even without the virus. I would say they’re taking a risk, and shouldn’t be doing it, but as it is for school, I’m not sure.

BlueBelle Mon 28-Sep-20 12:09:10

But it’s not ours or luckygirl s business to be trying to find solutions for their problems discodancer
That’s what they ve chosen to do seems totally daft to me but it’s their choice If luckygirl is worried about Covid being brought to the village all she can do is stay away from them and anyone they may have come in contact with or speak to them and tell them she doesn’t think it’s safe to be putting the village at risk

Luckygirl Mon 28-Sep-20 12:15:20

No spying here - it is all out on the open. I just wondered what others' thoughts might be on this. It is a difficult situation for them. And the rules are all so vague and open to interpretation.

For me, bubbling with one AC means that I would be in contact with everyone they are in contact with, so it does not seem a particularly efficient way of curbing the spread or preventing me, as a vulnerable person, from getting it. Which just leaves self-isolation in effect. Roll on the vaccine!

Doodledog Mon 28-Sep-20 13:33:17

I think you hit the nail on the head with the phrase 'if it were me'.

You think you know what you would have done in their circumstances (although there is a definite possibility that you are not fully aware of every aspect of their business) and they have decided what to do in their own case.

I am not able to see my adult children either, and it is very difficult, but fretting over what other people are doing is not going to help matters.

Yes, roll on the vaccine!

Ellianne Mon 28-Sep-20 17:12:56

A house purchase, especially involving childrens' schooling, is stressful even in good, healthy times. Our daughter and family moved from London in the middle of all this, although not in the strictest lockdown. There was no choice but for us to have the GC to stay for a couple of nights while the parents packed up the house 4 hours away. They did not come into contact with anyone else and isolated in their new home for 10 days. The only ones at risk were us, the GPs, but as someone said, it's what you do for your family in difficult times.
Hopefully these people will soon get sorted.

Alegrias Mon 28-Sep-20 17:27:19

It’s a wee bit off topic but I would like to say something about bubbles.
Luckygirl, you say that if you bubbled with an AC then you would be in contact with everyone they are in contact with. That’s absolutely true. It’s not meant to be a way of preventing you, as a vulnerable person, from getting it. It’s a way of allowing people who live on their own (I assume that’s you, please forgive me if I’m wrong) to interact with a specified group of their family or friends, and to behave as if they all stayed in the same house. So the number of contacts you have is increased, but not increased enough to raise the risk to society by too much.

Yes indeed, roll on the vaccine!

PinkCakes Tue 29-Sep-20 10:59:53

Luckygirl I'm doing what I believe to be right, and I don't concern myself with what other people are doing. I think if you do what you feel safe with, let others do whatever they're doing and keep away from them if you don't agree with it.

eazybee Tue 29-Sep-20 12:59:51

The children are not at present resident in their school catchment area, so if they don't attend they may well lose their places. Difficult to start at a new school if you are not living in the area, despite a new home in the process of being built, thanks to all the scams some parents have used in the past to gain places in popular schools.

MayBee70 Tue 29-Sep-20 22:14:59

It’s really difficult, when you’re doing everything possible to not catch the virus, to see other people doing things that could spread the infection, especially in a small village, so I can understand why Luckygirl finds it upsetting. I know I’m turning into a nosey neighbour but I keep seeing things that really bother me eh my next door neighbour, who’s very high risk has just started having a cleaner and the cleaner doesn’t wear a mask, even though she’s obviously going from one house to another. Feel I should say something but haven’t.

Callistemon Tue 29-Sep-20 23:04:23

I think if they stay in their bubble and do not mix with others locally or go into the village shop, if there is one, all should be fine. It's important for the children to go to their school as this could take some time and they have missed so much.

If it were me I would organise home schooling via the school rather than go back and forth.
If all other children are back in school, this could be difficult to arrange.

Strange that both parents have so much time on their hands don’t they work in the daytime ??
I thought the grandparents were the ones doing the school run?

Luckygirl this bubble idea is not going to work. GP at home perhaps, but DC are at work, DGC at school, another family member in the so-called bubble may not adhere to the guidelines, which is annoying.
I don't see how it can in many cases.

We can only do our best.

GreenGran78 Wed 30-Sep-20 10:02:34

“Roll on the vaccine?” Lucky, if it takes as long to develop as an AIDS vaccine is taking.............well, I’m not holding my breath!

inishowen Wed 30-Sep-20 10:05:20

Here we go again. Stop worrying about what your neighbours are doing. You're safe in your house.

luluaugust Wed 30-Sep-20 10:11:11

Most of the bubbling doesn't seem to work, schools have spent hundreds of hours working out class bubbles and year bubbles but as soon as collection time arrives the children and the people collecting them all get mixed up on the way home or outside the school gates. I do seem to be gathering a number of people who think I am part of their bubble it has got confusing now, even Boris isn't sure!

Nannapat1 Wed 30-Sep-20 10:21:33

I think that it's entirely up to the family what they do regarding the education of the children and you are equally entitled to keep away from them if you wish.

Education is considered an essential reason for movement.

Arranging home schooling is quite as simple to as you may think.

Nannapat1 Wed 30-Sep-20 10:22:22

* NOT quite as simple

MayBee70 Wed 30-Sep-20 10:33:28

Nothing any of us do these days is entirely about ‘us’. We must all think of those around us as well as ourselves otherwise we will not survive this pandemic. Having said that, I do agree that it’s important for the child to be in school. I just hope the family are aware that they are endangering those around them and are taking extra precautions. The grandparents must realise that they are putting themselves at risk and it seems wrong that their children are happy for them to do so. Having said that my biggest fear these days is that my family might catch the virus or that they might lose their jobs. If the latter was under threat I think I’d end up risking my own health to help them. We live in horrible, strange times do we not (sad).