Gransnet forums

Coronavirus

Picking GC up from primary school

(20 Posts)
Luckygirl Mon 19-Oct-20 09:50:30

Before coronavirus I used to regularly pick up two of my GC on a Monday and a Friday. At the point of lockdown I stopped doing this, and have not resumed when the schools did.

I am in a vulnerable group: 72 with AF and on denosumab.

One of the reasons that I have been so careful is because I am in the process of selling my bungalow and moving back to the village where all my friends are. This has all been very problematic (3 sales have fallen through, although hopefully it is back on track now - fingers crossed), and I do not want to finish up being asked to quarantine (or being ill) at the point when it all; comes together.

However, having lost my OH earlier this year, I find that my mood is very low and life feels a bit pointless just living for myself. I would love to return to being of some help to my family.

I am in a medium tier area. I have not actually "bubbled" with any of my family as yet. I have been quite weepy the last few weeks, and need to balance the risks of that against the risks of catching covid.

What would you do?

Luckygirl Mon 19-Oct-20 09:51:44

By the way, the pick-up consists of getting them from school and bringing them home with me for tea to await arrival of a parent at about 5pm.

maddyone Mon 19-Oct-20 10:03:17

I know you’re having a difficult year Luckygirl. To lose your husband and then the arrival of Covid19 is truly awful. Unsurprisingly you sound as though you are moving into clinical depression, which I have suffered from, and still take medication for otherwise it returns. I also remember that you posted about your GP being unsympathetic after your husband died. Nonetheless I think you should try again to speak to your GP, or ask to speak to a different GP at your practice. Medication will not change the physical facts of Covid or the loss of your husband, but may help you to cope with it all.
A friend of mine joined a bereavement group after her husband died and found it helped her. I realise that such groups will not be running just now, but you could ask your GP if there is any online support for the bereaved in your area.
Good luck.

Luckygirl Mon 19-Oct-20 10:07:33

Thank you maddyone - I am on an anti depressant and have been for a few years since I suffered an acute depression following my hip surgery. I have stayed on it as life has thrown some rubbish at me since then and it was thought I would do better to stay on it pro tem.

In spite of this I have had a weepy week or so. I am thinking that the balance of risk might be in favour of getting more involved with the family.

Callistemon Mon 19-Oct-20 10:16:27

I'm sorry you're feeling so low, Luckygirl; you've had a tough time lately without all the problems this virus has brought us.
Perhaps you do need to see a GP, not the same one as before.

It's difficult to know what to do regarding bubbles. We could form a family bubble but the children will be in their bubble at school; another member of the family may be forming different bubbles with work etc.

I don't know what to advise, sorry, but I do understand your dilemma. We're not called on often now but we do see the DC occasionally and try to be careful. At the moment our area is low risk but not far away is locked down.

midgey Mon 19-Oct-20 10:31:25

I have been wondering how your sale was going. I think you should bubble with your family. What is the point of getting up everyday if you cannot do stuff that really matters. The virus is not going to go away and we must learn to live with it. Obviously we need to be sensible and abide by the rules, but the rules allow this.

Luckygirl Mon 19-Oct-20 10:44:16

Thank you midgey - that is the direction my thoughts are heading in.

Callistemon Mon 19-Oct-20 10:45:08

I agree with midgey

trisher Mon 19-Oct-20 10:46:26

Luckygirl so sory for all the things that have happened to you. You are obviously feeling really unhappy. Even without all the rest just missing your DGCs will make you so sad. I usually picked my GCs up from school as well, but my DS has taken the decision entirely out of my hands by telling me I won't be picking them up while he can work from home. I wonder what your GC's parents think about you collecting them. I think only you can decide what you want to risk in the end. If you feel the benefit would outweigh the risks and you would be happier and feel better then do see them. If your GCs parents agree with you, you can put in place all the safety measures you can. Good luck I hope things improve for you soon.

Grandmabatty Mon 19-Oct-20 10:48:18

I live alone and have a number of health issues but I've formed an extended household with dd. I look after dgs two days a week and it definitely helps my mood. These are Scottish rules though. I would do it if I were you.

Nanna58 Mon 19-Oct-20 10:49:20

I pick up my DGS from school when DD on duty. I do have health issues , immune system arthritis, but depression has and does loom much larger in my life, so weighing up the benefits of family interaction was a no brainer for me . Chin up Luckygirl x

Callistemon Mon 19-Oct-20 10:50:49

You could all just be prepared to alter plans as necessary but we have to think of our mental health too and balance the risks.

GrannySomerset Mon 19-Oct-20 10:56:27

Dear Luckygirl, I feel for you after such an awful year. It seems to me that your mental health is at least as important as your physical health and that being useful really matters. Seeing the DGC will be a bigger boost than anything else you can do, and the warmth of family is what you need whilst navigating the awful and anxious journey of the move. Your DDs won’t let you run too many risks.

Alima Mon 19-Oct-20 10:57:45

I am so sorry you are having such an awful time. I would not usually advise anyone anything but feel I can as you ask what we would do.
We are in a medium risk area and were on the shielded list. We currently pick up our 3 primary school age grand children and hang on to them until their mothers arrive to collect them, around 5. (Only on 3 days a week).
Fingers crossed your house sale goes through this time.

trisher Mon 19-Oct-20 11:50:51

Just thought of one thing. How old are your GCs? My GD aged 7 is very aware of the risks and, as we lost a couple of close family members just before covid, is very aware of death. She would be very worried for me if I was in close contact. If they are old enough it might be worth talking to your GCs about this. Much as I miss her knowing she isn't worried all the time brings me some comfort.

Sarnia Mon 19-Oct-20 11:59:23

I was mighty pleased to go back to collecting various grandchildren 3 times a week from their primary schools. It seemed like a degree of normality had returned to my life. The schools I collect from have put as many safety measures as possible to keep everyone safe but as usual there are a few at just one of the schools who think Covid-19 has gone and things as as they were. Ignoring social distancing etc. so I will wear my face mask when collecting from there this week. If I was you (I am also 72 with AFib, delightful condition, isn't it?) I would resume collecting your grandchildren, taking all sensible precautions. Good luck!

sodapop Mon 19-Oct-20 12:12:06

House selling and moving is so stressful Luckygirl without all the other factors thrown in. I completely agree with midgey . Be sensible with all the precautions you can for you and the children then enjoy your time with them. Our mental health is as important as our physical health, Covid is not going away any time soon.
Good luck.

Toadinthehole Mon 19-Oct-20 12:39:22

So sorry to hear you’re feeling low. It’s really about allowing time to heal, but in these odd times, that’s probably been made so much harder. I think you should do what you feel comfortable with, keeping yourself safe in the process. You need your family at a time like this. You can ‘bubble’ with the family with the grandchildren you would like to pick up from school. I pray it all goes well, and that your house sale will go through. That in itself would be enough for most people, but you are bereaved, and we have Covid-19. I send you my best wishes💐

Antonia Mon 19-Oct-20 13:25:49

Luckygirl I'm sorry you have had such problems this year, it's been an awful year for you, and I'm not surprised you are feeling low. Moving house during all this is also stressful for you, but I hope things will be better once you are nearer your family.
Regarding picking up grandchildren from primary school, we decided that the risk was worth it, and pick up our granddaughter twice a week. I wear a mask (I am the only person wearing one) and keep as much distance as I can from other people. It has helped to give a sense of normality to my life, and keeps me going.
Is this something you could consider doing again? It might help to alleviate some of the stress you are under just now. flowers

PinkCakes Mon 19-Oct-20 14:58:16

It's up to you, but if that were me in that situation, I'd want my family - especially my GC - around me.

Take care xx