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My husband refuses to believe in coronavirus

(185 Posts)
nightwriter Tue 10-Nov-20 14:00:56

I am finding it difficult to tolerate my husband's continual assertion that coronavirus is not real and is, in fact, a tool used by governments and big pharma companies to control us. He believes that Bill Gates is behind it all. Any reasonable discussion is off limits and he is now trying to convince me that I shouldn't have the vaccine when it arrives. Not sure how to deal with this.

boodymum67 Tue 10-Nov-20 14:04:06

Easy solution...take him to a covid ward in a hospital.....but of course they`d never let him in....So ask nurses as they finish a gruelling shift on a covid ward..that should shut him up.

And if YOU want a vaccine, will he rule over you for that?

FarNorth Tue 10-Nov-20 14:14:45

What do you say when he's giving these views?
Do you try to discuss it with him, or keep quiet, or what?

Would he 'agree to disagree' and stop telling you all these things?

nightwriter Tue 10-Nov-20 14:15:44

I won't allow him to decide whether I have the vaccine or not - that is for me to decide. I'm just getting very weary of his constant 'conspiracy theory' rhetoric. He's continually trolling the internet for these 'theories' and is finding plenty of them.

varian Tue 10-Nov-20 14:17:41

Is he possibly suffering from some mental illness?

nightwriter Tue 10-Nov-20 14:19:12

I did originally try to discuss it with him but he is so sure he's right. I have now told him that I do not want to discuss it any more and that he is welcome to his opinion.

TerriBull Tue 10-Nov-20 14:22:45

It's hard to understand why people wouldn't believe Covid exists when the evidence is everywhere shock and to also think that governments around the world want to tank their individual economies, defies logic!

sodapop Tue 10-Nov-20 14:24:32

For some people this is just a form of defence trying to make sense of a disordered world.

I wouldn't engage with him nightwriter just agree to disagree and leave it there. Tell him you are happy to talk about other things but not this. He is not alone in his thinking.

nightwriter Tue 10-Nov-20 14:26:10

Varian, you could be right. His views have become more and more bizarre over the last few years and his interest in conspiracy theories has grown. However, the chances of me ever getting him to consider this seem small. I'm not sure how much longer I can live like this which is sad as we have been together for 35 years.

M0nica Tue 10-Nov-20 14:27:46

Like other people, he has become a victim of conspiracy theorists. We had a thread headed by someone else in your position - except it was a sister, or a relation like that.

I suspect that the only thing you can do, is just refuse to discuss the subject with him other than tell hin, you will decide for yourself when the opportunity for a vaccine presents itself.

25Avalon Tue 10-Nov-20 14:31:38

There are also people who still believe the world is flat. Does he tell you how to vote so why should he tell you whether to have the vaccine or not?

grandtanteJE65 Tue 10-Nov-20 14:34:16

Tell him to stop talking bl***y nonsense. That's what I would do, and probably add that only someone of diminished mental capacity could believe it doesn't exist.

Then refuse to listen to his rubbish. Walk out of the room every time he starts and get the vaccine as soon as it is available, without discussing it with him.

You are, after all, at considerable risk as your husband is taking no precautions as he doesn't believe the illness exists.

welbeck Tue 10-Nov-20 15:15:37

there are particular websites that seem to get a grip on some people's whole mind-set.
and i have heard otherwise reasonable and intelligent people calling in to radio stations, who sound so strange in their assertions.
one last night, he didn't think much of trump, until Covid arrived. then he realised that Biden was evil, and big business in charge of govt.. it made no sense.
the presenter tried to probe but it was pointless.
the is a highly qualified woman near here, who is an anti-vaxxer and she stops in the street to berate me if she sees me wearing a mask. says it will make me ill from lack of oxygen, and will scare people so that the govt can control them, like they did in nazi germany.
i don't say anything. no point. just try to avoid her.

Davida1968 Tue 10-Nov-20 16:42:50

Whaaaaaat? (nightwriter, are you in the USA?)

fevertree Tue 10-Nov-20 16:49:40

We also have a family member who unfortunately believes that it is all a conspiracy, she talks about a plandemic. I just tell her she is bonkers so she leaves me alone now.

Nothing you can do but ignore him. It can't be easy though if you live in the same house!

M0nica Wed 11-Nov-20 01:58:32

I think many people feel unsettled and insecure in times like this and there is comfort in finding one simple solution that resolves all your problems.

Remember the years when the answer to everything was that it was the communists, with a red under every bed, and in the USA that degenerated into McCarthyism.

But as has been often said For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, = and wrong. and this applies to all those conspiracy theories.

Davidhs Wed 11-Nov-20 07:35:21

No point in arguing with a conspiracy theorist, if he keeps carping on about it it must be very wearing, all you can do is avoid the subject as much as possible. Don’t watch the news, now the US election is over its back to Covid .

Sparklefizz Wed 11-Nov-20 08:34:11

I read yesterday that GCHQ have been called in to address the anti-vax theories and online posts, many of which have been planted by Russia to cause dissent.

Teetime Wed 11-Nov-20 09:13:43

nightwriter it must be very difficult to stop yourself grabbing his head and banging it on the nearest wall. I have read this theory on social media that Bill Gates has developed the vaccine so that he can make people autistic- what can you say. There is no cure for stupidity. sad

Coconut Wed 11-Nov-20 09:59:57

He is of course entitled to his own opinions ..... as are you. What he is not entitled to do tho is to continuously ram his opinions down your throat, as if your opinions are not valid. Is it just the virus ? Or is he dogmatic on other issues ? Has he always been like this ?
I can only liken this to my 90 year old mother, who knows everything and is always right ..... but I only see her once a week and just refuse to listen when she starts her lectures ?

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 11-Nov-20 10:00:22

I'm not sure I could put up with stuff with that. OH and I have been together for 44 years but if he started blithering on about conspiracy theories, my first thought would be that he had gone mad, and secondly that I was out of there! Women should not have to put up with this nonsense. Please do not refuse a vaccine because your OH demands that you don't have one.

Rutheleanor Wed 11-Nov-20 10:00:27

It is horrible to deal with. My son has been the same but at least I don’t live with him. I had him on the phone ranting about it. After a big row I found the easiest way was to agree with him and say it was so scary that I would really appreciate it if he didn’t talk to me about it. That worked and he took a more protective attitude to shield me. You could try that.

Suzey Wed 11-Nov-20 10:00:49

He is entitled to his own opinions you are individuals just don't discuss it with him if it upsets you and if you want the vaccine have it

JaneD666 Wed 11-Nov-20 10:01:31

From today's Nature Briefing: "The COVID-19 pandemic created a perfect storm for vulnerability to conspiracy narratives because it has fed feelings of grief, uncertainty, powerlessness and marginalization, argues political psychologist Aleksandra Cichocka. She recommends more research into how our responses to conspiracy theories change over time, better methods of correcting misinformation and a focus on fulfilling the psychological needs that underlie conspiracy belief. “Neglecting the mental-health crisis risks perpetuating an information one,” she writes."

Huguenot Wed 11-Nov-20 10:01:39

The weird thing is that these silly people (I want to say worse) can never say WHY govt would need or want to "control" us. That's the argument they could lose every time which is why discussion is off-limits. As for Bill Gates, etc., I suggest your husband has been staring at too many conspiracy theories laid down by people whose only qualification is one gained paperless at the university of YouTube.