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Feeling frustrated with colleagues

(54 Posts)
BGB31 Thu 12-Nov-20 11:32:05

I have heard from two colleagues that they are both going away for a few days this week (not together!).
One has had the virus, the other is worried about getting it because it could mean she can't see her family at Christmas.

I didn't say anything in response, but am left feeling cross and frustrated at what I see as their irresponsible actions (both will be using public transport to get to their destinations).

I think I have stuck to the rules pretty rigidly throughout - for my own sake as well as other people's. I'm not a saint (far from it wink ), but to me this is an important, temporary situation where we have to think of others as well as ourselves.

I know there's no answer to this, I'm just ranting! (To stop me falling out with my colleagues perhaps!).

4allweknow Fri 13-Nov-20 11:29:27

A lot of the information churned out are recommendations not laws. But even so people still buck against laws if they don't suit them eg wanting to go away for a few days. Not sure about the travel issue is law or recomnendation. As to being immune only last week woman featured on news highlighting she had Covid in February and was quite ill. Contracted it again in September and not recovering very well. There may well be immunity initially but looks as if may not be long lasting. I'd just WFH and avoid contract with selfish colleagues. Also those with immunity can still pass it on by touching infected surfaces you then touch, hence the clean hands message.

Keryn64 Fri 13-Nov-20 11:32:38

No one knows enough about this virus to say if you’ve had it you can’t pass it on and it’s only serious for 0.1 %
At least 4% of people die from Covid 19 if you use the figures provided by ONS, not to mention those who suffer from long Covid, who even after 7 months are still suffering and not back to work. We’re in a National Lockdown - non essential travel is not allowed, nor is staying away from your main residence overnight. It is against the law just like theft, assault, manslaughter so I think the OP has every right to have a little rant when we are all bound by those rules for the protection of everyone and colleagues are flouting them. I personally want to thank everyone who is following the rules whether they agree with them or not ?

hugaby Fri 13-Nov-20 11:33:52

I thought the advice/legal requirements at the moment are that travel anywhere, except for work or other exceptions is not allowed: this is taken from the government website:

you must not travel in the UK or overseas, unless for a specific reason, like education, work or a caring responsibility

Therefore, your colleagues are not complying with the lockdown requirements.

Lucca Fri 13-Nov-20 11:41:52

Someone I know has just flown to another European country. No checks anywhere. She is however planning to stay in a very remote spot for many weeks.
I’m just surprised at no checks

travelsafar Fri 13-Nov-20 11:48:14

You are not alone in this kind of situation. My poor sister works with a several Asian people and as it it Dwarli coming up several of them have already said they will be hosting parties with relatives and friends. She has to keep stum as she doesn't want to cause an issue as she is in the minority at work. Difficult situation. sad

Tillybelle Fri 13-Nov-20 11:49:37

BGB31. You have every right to rant. Many people will know I have heard the intelligent and educated side for saying the approach from the Govt is wrong. People probably think I am against the whole thing. Actually I just listen and learn as much as I can. I do not have the arrogance to say I know. I just put forward other views I've heard from sensible sources like professors of Medicine for people to be more aware of everything.
You might guess I have heard that the lockdown is wrong and so on. I have and I worry about the country.
I stick to the rules
I think we should all do this
I think people who do what your colleagues are doing are selfish.

Until we have a critical mass of people, led by well informed Doctors, who unite to act against the rules imposed, I believe it is selfish of individuals to think they can be exceptions when others are denying themselves from such pleasures and sticking to the rules.

I sincerely hope we shall overcome the illness soon and like all these things it will go away.

Meanwhile, BGB31 I approve of your rant and I'd do it in front of the Colleagues concerned! good luck!!

Janburry Fri 13-Nov-20 11:55:54

I have to agree with Aepgirl, why are some people taking the attitude 'no ones telling me what l can and can't do' they sound like petulant children 'I'm not doing it you can't make me' does it really matter that you might be in the age group that the virus is unlikely to kill you should be feeling grateful and worried for those of us not so lucky, try thinking along the lines of 'l might be lucky but some people aren't so I'm going to do what l can to keep those people safe' l know its wishful thinking but we can all dream

Mwdebbie Fri 13-Nov-20 11:59:26

A year ago, my mother was a fit and healthy and independent 87 year old who walked to the gym 3 times a week. In January she developed a serious heart condition and following a hospital stay went to a Care home for 4 weeks while we sorted her house out so she could live downstairs. This respite stay started just before the 1st Lockdown. No one at that stage knew what was coming down the track. She died in April from Covid19, the day before she was due to come home.
I am a fit and healthy 65. I have followed all the rules and guidelines but contracted Covid19, probably from my OH who’s a nurse who probably caught it while doing a flu clinic. I was flat out and ill in bed for two whole weeks, as was my OH. 3 weeks later we are slowly returning to levels of light activity. We had a ‘mild’ dose of Covid19 which didn’t require us to go to hospital. This is the worst ‘mild’ infection I’ve ever had and it absolutely enrages me that many people don’t follow the guidelines.

luluaugust Fri 13-Nov-20 12:25:43

Until they close the schools the virus has every opportunity to keep going. DGS5 had all the symptoms going, had a test negative so back to school, his mum a teacher just told her year is closing due to outbreak in her year it's all mad and none of them are travelling very far.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 13-Nov-20 12:28:32

I don't agree with this "nothing said, soonest mended" attitude.

If you are sure your colleagues are breaking the rules and placing themselves and others at risk, tell them so, politely.

If they insist on going and do not quarantine themselves afterwards, insist on not having to sit in the same room as them at work.

If no-one speaks up when people are acting irresponsibly, we will never be rid fo this virus.

Phloembundle Fri 13-Nov-20 12:31:43

Oh dear, Taliya, what a self centred little person. Clearly, no-one you love has died among the 50,000!

123kitty Fri 13-Nov-20 13:38:04

Caragran I'm sure you're making a valid point, but I don't want to have to dig through previous posts to find out just what it is.

GreenGran78 Fri 13-Nov-20 13:50:51

It seems That most of the people who have died have some other condition, or are elderly and vulnerable. The percentage of those who are neither is enough to make me cautious, though. I’m classed as e and v, even though I am very fit and healthy. I certainly won’t be taking any holidays in the near future, much as I would like to.

bobbydog24 Fri 13-Nov-20 14:01:04

If it makes you feel any better jenpax anyone returning from Greece after 4am Saturday will have to isolate for 2 weeks. I can’t believe anyone would want to travel anywhere at the moment and as has been said it’s not allowed during lickdown

bobbydog24 Fri 13-Nov-20 14:01:30

Even lockdown

petra Fri 13-Nov-20 14:10:17

I assume your replying to tillybelle. I don't know if you know anyone who suffers from asthma or copd but one of the scientist tillybelle refers to who have a different point of view was one of the scientists who developed the inhaler to help the sufferers of these diseases.
Dr Mike Yeadon.

Lucca Fri 13-Nov-20 14:29:14


Caragran I'm sure you're making a valid point, but I don't want to have to dig through previous posts to find out just what it is.

Sorry but there is little point having a thread /discussion or whatever if people don’t bother to read previous posts? Drives me nuts that.

Lucca Fri 13-Nov-20 14:29:47


I assume your replying to tillybelle. I don't know if you know anyone who suffers from asthma or copd but one of the scientist tillybelle refers to who have a different point of view was one of the scientists who developed the inhaler to help the sufferers of these diseases.
Dr Mike Yeadon.

Replying to Taliya I thought.

bobbydog24 Fri 13-Nov-20 14:30:10

My DGS’s class have been sent home from school this morning due to COVID. His sister will be returning to school on Monday after time off for the same reason. Luckily my DD works from home but how are other parents coping with this in/out situation if they can’t work from home. It must be a nightmare.

Dottynan Fri 13-Nov-20 14:34:18

99.9% don't get badly ill but 50,000 have died from it. Enough to make me to follow the rules

focused1 Fri 13-Nov-20 14:58:23

Others at work will feel the same but I wouldn't be drawn and or say anything . It annoys me too and we have had issues about time off at Xmas with a few saying they would like the time off as they travel to see relatives . I had already told my senior I would be staying at home so bang goes my chances. I ranted at home but at least I will have Xmas Day off - when I say off I will have a decent slog in the kitchen.

Daisend1 Fri 13-Nov-20 17:40:32

If a person is worried about getting the virus then DON'T go. Not too difficult a task making that decision.

BGB31 Fri 13-Nov-20 20:04:03

Thanks for all your responses, to what was essentially me getting it off my chest!
Luckily I am working from home so won’t have to see either colleague for quite some time, so there is no risk to me. It just makes me cross. They are both staying with friends / family and are going for leisure rather than any essential purpose.
One prefaced her announcement by saying “I know it’s not allowed, but.....”.

It’s that idea that somehow it’s fine for them to do it, because they’re special or different in some way.

@ctussaud I agree that one of them seems nuts, as she is worrying about not being able to see family at Christmas. It makes no sense.

I have seen my GCs a couple of times since March, outside in a park. I doubt I will see them now until next year. I hate it, but I believe it’s the safest thing for all of us so I am prepared to put up with it.

Take care everyone!

llizzie2 Fri 13-Nov-20 22:20:22

Why do we have rules if people are not going to keep to them? This virus is very dangerous and we should avoid situations where we may catch it, because you just do not know what it will do to you. The authorities do not tell you everything, otherwise there would be panic, and there is nothing you can do once you have caught it. It is still cough as the first symptom. If you have a dry cough, use your cough mixture (my particular cough syrup is white port, just a spoonful. Too much might make your throat sore. If the cough goes, you probably don't have the virus.

Some people are not recovering from the virus. They continue to be very ill indeed. In 1987 I got up to go to work one morning and my legs gave way. I was 46. I had just been added to my new husband's health insurance as there was nothing wrong.

The next 10 years were a nightmare and I cost the insurance tens of thousands of pounds. I had a virus, diagnosed with a lumbar puncture which included injecting a dye in my spinal canal to which I was allergic. I was told the virus could not be identified, but it was like polio, in that it did the damage and left.

I had GBS and now have the chronic form CIDP. It went up my body giving me Crohn's with some Caeliac disease, heart failure, thyroid failure, carpal tunnel syndrome, took all my body hair except my head, thank goodness. My central nervous system went haywire. I was told my reflexes were in reverse. My saving grace was that it did not first attack the nerve supply to the heart or I would have dropped dead immediately. I cannot walk far, have had more diagnoses, difficulty speaking when my salivary glands packed up and could go on. I am 80 in December. I spend a lot of my time trying to help others on the facebook groups.

When I hear of people who disobey the rules because it cannot happen to them, I feel sad more than angry, because no matter how much you warn people, they never think it could happen to them. Do they think that when I went to bed the night before that first day I knew that in the morning I would be disabled?

You cannot do anything to stop people doing what they please. People cannot accept that they might be disabled in the blink of an eye, rather not think about it. Worse though are the people who did not believe that one minute I was fine and the next, unable to walk, feed myself, do all the things I had done the night before. I had that effect on people, and I think what we are seeing here are two people who cannot believe a virus can be so destructive to the human body. It was hard enough for me, but the reaction from family and friends is unfathomable.

Lizbethann55 Fri 13-Nov-20 22:22:00

I live in the north west. My line manager went with her DD, SiL and two GC to Cornwall for a few days. They were all squashed in to a small car going down. They used public transport to travel around when they were there. As my line manager couldn't stay as long as the rest of her family as she couldn't get leave, she travelled back on her own by train. And she plastered photos of her holiday all over Facebook. I was not impressed as I am trying so hard to stick to the rules.