I’m being made to feel stupid for sticking to the rules, anyone else?

I'm in Tier 4 now but because of health issues, I've been classified as clinically extremely vulnerable (their words, not mine). I spent 6 months in lockdown from March to August - emerging a couple of days before my birthday. My partner and I (we don't live together) both got Covid about 4 weeks ago - where from, we have no idea. We're always very careful when we go into any supermarket and we'd only go out once a week to get the shopping. He was supposed to have a pacemaker fitted this coming Tuesday but he got a text today from the hospital saying he's still positive. He now has to isolate for 10 days, as do I because I saw him only a couple of days ago. A few months ago, I personally didn't know anyone with the virus; now I know at least a dozen people - some of whom are neighbours. And I also know one person who has sadly died. This message is to say keep following the rules - your friends are stupid and selfish and they should be ashamed of themselves for treating you with so little concern. Keep well and safe.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

we have to do what we think is right,not what other people think.We'd all like to get back to normal,but we can't,so we have to be careful

Dooncaha. So sorry.

Thank you TenaciousB for starting this thread. It's good to read other people's experiences and know you're not the only one being ridiculed. You must go on doing the right thing whilst saying as little as possible.
I don't see the point in giving ourselves the bother of explaining or questioning other people's response to rules/guidance. It would only lead to arguments. I do feel that some relationships will never be the same again.

Teacheranne I wash packaging and also empty veg, fruit and fresh bread into new packaging. I don't actually wash food.

Grany56 I can only echo what Georgia said. I think you may find some of your neighbours are more understanding than next door has led you to believe, but its very sad to feel isolated.

Thanks for helpful comments re washing.

Yes one or two. My patience is wearing thin as its clear that the more contact there is the more the virus spreads. I am just avoiding people who want to take risks and pointing out that the rates wont stay low if everyone buries their heads in the sand. Most of the uk has high and increasing rates. Do what you feel is right.

AJKW

Het hem. Integrity is doing the right thing when everyone is watching. And not agreeing with you.

Grandy56

I will try to keep this brief but I have been so very hurt by a similar situation that has been going on since May and would really welcome your feed back.
I live in a very sociable road and have always got together sociably with many couples of a similar age in the street .
Just before VE Day my next door neighbour and friend of 30 years sent an email to everyone for a garden party .
We were at the time still in lock down. I rang her up to express my concern privately .
She was horrified and cross with me saying she meant everyone should celebrate in their own gardens . However on the day she put chairs bunting etc out and everyone congregated on her front lawn spilling out onto the street.
We didn’t attend but raised a glass to them all from our front door .
A little later in the summer, when we were allowed to meet in our gardens my DH and I invited a couple round who had been in strict lock down since March . They were very nervous about coming .
My house shares a footpath with the neighbour to our back gardens and all day leading up to my friends arrival , it had been busy with children, grandchildren and neighbours visiting my neighbour . I asked my neighbour if they could possibly not use the path for five minutes while my friends arrived and used it to enter our back garden . She agreed and then dead on the agreed time , they used the path to wheel a lawnmower along it for no apparent reason.
I again spoke to her privately about this but she was angry and emailed me that night saying that she had emailed everyone the road and that they were all shocked with my behaviour .
Since that day we have had very little contact from anyone .
On New Year’s Day ( we are tier 4 ) 20 neighbours had a gathering in the road to celebrate . We of course were not invited ( not that we would have gone but it would have been so nice to be included. These people were all once our friends )
I know this is late in the thread but please reply to me . I am so down .

Please don't feel down. (So much easier to say than to do!). These so called friends turn out to really just be neighbours you were well acquainted with. Real friends would not behave as they have done, they would have reassured you that they understood where you were coming from, and stayed in touch by phone, not excluded you. Also the one who used the path at the exact time you'd politely requested they didn't use it was being actively aggressive by doing so, and by emailing others in the street about you was being just a plain, nasty, schoolkid bully. I get the impression from your post that you've lived a long time where you are: however would it be feasible for you to think about moving away to a different area now that the antagonism of your neighbours has arisen? If you don't want to move, I'd recommend when it's safe to do so, that you try to find some true friends by joining groups/volunteering. There's the University of the Third Age ( www.u3a.org.uk/ ) for example, you might find a new world opening up to you! Best Wishes, and stay safe.

Blossoming

Had a few people who’ve been a bit miffed that we’ve refused invitations. Their feelings are not my responsibility but I’m damned if I’ll let them put me in danger.

Absolutely what Blossoming says.

My much beloved husband died in May of Covid, which he caught while in hospital for an unrelated illness, and I can't describe the grief I feel. You stick to your guns OP and let your stupid friends make their own irresponsible decisions. Personally, if they were behaving like that with me, I'd drop them for making some new REAL friends once we're back to normal. If we ever are.

I'm the same, I am in my mid 50s and being so careful and doing all I can to stay safe. The last 2 days I've spoke to a couple I know who are both 70yrs old who have gone to the shops, for a look round, just to get out of the house. Most shops are closed in N.I, but they drive for miles just to find a shop open. Unbelievable! I live alone and at times could climb the walls, but I don't even want to go out for milk in case I catch it. Another friend lives with his 85yr old mother and he's going out to friends houses. I can't believe how inconsiderate they all are and they make fun of me for being so silly and paranoid. Think I can who the actual idiots are. These are the type of people who are taking up the beds in hospitals out of pure selfishness and denying others of operations they have probably needed for years.

Please don't feel stupid TenaciouB. It's your 'friends' who are the stupid ones. It's because of idiots like them that we are in this situation.

You are doing the right thing, integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching, your friends are putting lives at stake.

I have never lived my life by other people's standards in anything.I have always looked at the facts objectively and set out my course of behaviour therefrom.
I think you should have confidence in yourself and do the same

TenaciousB. If these co called ‘friends’ were made to visit a ward full of Covid patients fighting to breathe, let alone the ones who are dying, they might just come to their senses. Stick to your guns and carry on doing what you are doing.
And if you lose those friendships then it could be said they were of little value anyway.

Don't give in now when the vaccine is so close. We have a pair of friends like that. Any opportunity they are out and about. We know they think we are weird for being so strict with ourselves but he has had 2 bad colds and if he was in a situation to catch those he could just as easily have got covid.

Btw, just to add, we've stuck to the guidelines, wear masks, wash hands and continually steralise.
I'm a bit OCD and even steralise my washing.
We have no idea how my partner got the virus. A Christmas card through the post? An item of shopping? Who knows! This virus is rampant.

I clean every bit of shopping that is delivered to the house. The cases of covid near me two of the people had never even left their homes, only contact was deliveries to the house.
I have no problem with staying away from thoughtless people, I refuse to call them friends if they want to mix.
Read messages on FB and you hear people say " we observe the rules BUT or we JUST or we ONLY " .

You know what risk is acceptable to you, so behave accordingly. Stop thinking about what other people do, you are making yourself ill. This will be over in a few months when we're all vaccinated.

Craftycat
I could’ve written your post!

Would just add an update - have been for a walk on my own since we entered tier 4.....

I have a lovely SinL in another County that was always T2. She is 75 and her little gang of lady friends vary up to 82. They are all fit, fashionable and well off. (Not sure that’s relevant?). They had a discussion between themselves and decided to carry on as normal - other than having 2 holidays abroad cancelled - they seem to be out and about every day! I’m quite pleased we don’t live closer!

We got a neighbour who laughed at hubby when she saw him out wearing a mask and she will think nothing of coming up close to you and having a chat either, your doing right thing, how can being extra cautious possibly be wrong the way things are atm. hmm

Don't let them make you feel stupid. My partner is on day 10 of covid virus and it's horrible. He's had hallucinations, chest pains, exhaustion, to name a few symptoms.
I'm waiting for my test results, but I'm having giddiness and electric pulses shooting through my head.
It's not like anything we've had before and very scary.
Stick to your guns hun. I wouldn't wish this on anyone!

Plus, if they were your friends they would be supporting you.

Stay safe xxx

Your area may be low at the moment but with the lack of consideration by some who knows what the figures may be in a couple of weeks. Take care, do what you feel is safe.

I know people who seem to think they are above the rules, and it made me feel full of righteous indignation. However feeling angry does you no good at all, so I now let it go. As Churchill said "keep buggering on"!

Always best to be on the safe side