The Lockdown Gang - Indomitable Lobstars ?⭐️

I love the jokes, gang, but I am really bad at remembering them!

So sorry you are feeling poorly Missedout. Building immunity can be a problem I know as I have a friend in the same position. Hopefully the people around you can.

I felt poorly after my jab Grammaretto 5 days later. I felt very off for 3 days. It was so strange but then some of my meds can make me feel odd so it could have been that - and the weather.

I have to be brave and go out today. Our prescriptions are ready in the chemist and they cannot deliver until Monday. My DH has run out of needles for his insulin pens and only has long ones. It will be worth it so he is groaning everytime he injects himself.

That's a great story Grammaretto, one for the history books (groan). Oh - we can't have you in fits, that's my misfortune trick ?

Thankyou Lobstars.
You have had me in fits of laughter
I can't think of any jokes at all.

I considered doing the birdwatch but if it's anything like previous years I sit in the greenhouse for an hour and watch a seagull, a pigeon or two and maybe some magpies while all the pretty birds have absconded to the neighbour's garden where there is a feast laid out for them.

Sorry you are feeling low Missedout
My DiL had the vaccine today she's a key worker and felt very unwell afterwards as did her DF.

I had a chat to my DB , a school teacher who is not enjoying the online teaching. His pupils, it's a 6th form college, are all at ease with the technology while he is in his final year before retirement missing how it used to be.

I see that a 4yr old girl has found a dinosaur footprint on a Welsh beach. Now this isn't a joke but it is quite funny.

www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/19049186.four-year-old-girl-finds-dinosaur-footprint-barry-beach/

Missedout well you made me laugh. I splurted out my coffee. I wasn’t expecting a joke in the middle of your post and when I came to the broccoli and cauliflower it really made me laugh.
I’m sorry you are still feeling under the weather but it’s lovely to hear from you.
I hope you get your vaccination soon but I can understand your wish for your DH to have it at the same time.
Sorry your bloods have to be repeated. I hope the results are ok next time.
I’m sure your DGD will be thrilled with her card. I bet you have glitter everywhere. That stuff is amazing how it travels.
Sending a gentle cwtch your way and hoping you feel better soon.
cherry nice for your niece to have you to talk too. Sounds as though you did a good job and cheered her up. So many people are suffering from stress these days. I feel guilty just sitting at home and waiting for our vaccination. The family are all busy and ‘other grandma’ is unwell and we can’t help at all.
We had to go to the hospital today to collect DHs cancer meds. It was chaotic. We don’t go in. DH phones from the car and the pharmacy send someone out with the tablets. Problem was there was a fire engine, two busses and 7 cars all trying to manoeuvre in a small space and we had to keep driving round a small roundabout till the pharmacist came out and waved to us.
Take care all

Hi lobstars, I'm sorry to be a part-time gangster at the moment, I'm still not well and everything feels such an effort. I've just taken the last of my robotics so hope at least to start enjoying food again. The last time I was under 57kg was when I was a teenager and I sort-of grew through that weight.

I have cut my own hair recently, an old English sheepdog has nothing on me but, quite frankly, I can't tell which hair I cut!

I had a phone consultation with my immunologist recently. I have been advised to have either of the available vaccines although there is no assurance that I will make any antibodies. I also have an appointment for the vaccine but DH isn't included, despite our efforts to book one. It is more important that DH gets vaccinated, it may help to protect me.

For my specialist appointment, I had some blood tests at the GP surgery. The results raised some concerns so I have to go back for repeats (sigh). I know I should be grateful that I am being monitored so well, but now I am worrying again.

My oldest DGD has a birthday soon. I set myself the task of making her a card (Mr Amazon delivered the present a few days ago). I've been putting off making her card but have run out of time so, despite feeling hot and tired, spent the day with cardboard, sequins, glitter and 'sticky-backed plastic'! It's very amateurish but our sole aim is to make her laugh.

I like the jokes, please keep them coming.
"I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have florets!"
”Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy."

I meant to join in the Great Garden Birdwatch but will be just content to watch the birds. My pigeon pair has turned into a ménage a trois, one of them is a very 'flighty piece'.

I'm happy to join in the 'Cwtches R Us' movement with our fellow lobstars - Mum was Welsh too.

I like the Cwtches R Us Doodle ?
Thanks for the lovely one from you Grammaretto ?

I'm not very good at remembering jokes Grammaretto but I do have some groaners :

Why aren't koalas actual bears?
They don meet the koalafications.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

What's a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.

I know a few more like that and, like them, they are unlikely to leave anyone grinning, at least if you're still having any remnants of toothache they're unlikely to add to it.

Mamissimo I like the sound of your new garden bench and it sounds like you've got a good deal too. Can we have a picture when it's done? My WP loves a garden sculptures and no we haven't got any gnomes. Amongst others though we do have a grumpy looking devil ? though and three lions ?. I have seen some sculptures, including chickens, in a rusty style and in the right spot in a garden they look really good. I'm sure you've found the perfect spot for them.
I never bother with the sweet smile thing, though I can imagine yours, I give one of my teacher glances or even when really necessary I'll give the stare instead ?.

Not long to wait to see gorgeous Gubbins now Kaimoana, I'm sure you'll give her a nice long cwtch ?. Like Mamissimo I have. squidge envy.

Oh dragonfly I hope your mother is alright and the antibiotics start working quickly. Don't get me wrong here but is she quite a stubborn character when it comes to health matters? I ask because I know my mother was!

Quieter day in Cherry Cove, except for this morning (neighbour again ?). A welcome relief really even if that does sound strange these days ?. Yesterday was one of endless phonecalls, only one of which was truly enjoyable even though I had to put my counselling head on. I had a very long chat with my niece1 who is enduring quite a bit of stress as a teacher. Flak on all fronts, doings things that are well beyond the remit for a teacher but she can't very well not do them and she's missing the children (her pupils). I think a chat with her auntie helped though as she was much more cheerful by the end of our conversation ?. It would have been nice to have given her a gentle cwtch though.

I meant to do the garden birdwatch today but didn't get round to it. Highlight for tomorrow now instead. I hope the buzzard, the sparrowhawk and the rook make an appearance ?

Ona leaf....?....bl**dy autocorrect. You couldn’t make it up could you

Grammaretto my contribution to the cause.

Helvetica and Times Roman walked into a bar. Get out of here yelled the bartender. We don’t serve your type.

Hope your toothache has eased off.
What an amazing photo. Is that the museum? It looks incredible. Thank you for your return cwtch.
Could be our new motto. Cwtches R Us. ?
Mamissimo will your Scottish jaunt be part of a group or is it an individual trip? I wonder if Sainsbugs delivery drivers quiver in their vans at the thought of delivering the wrong item to you ?
Dragonfly we will having salad without tomatoes tomorrow as Waitrose haven’t got any.
I’ve been to Oban too for the whisky visit. I’m not a whisky drinker so didn’t find it as enjoyable as many did.
Seem to be a lot of UTIs around. Hope your mum feels better once she has the antibiotics.
I just have a mental picture of you putting your DH Ona leaf and shouting walkies as you drag him off round the block.?
kaimoana trust you to come up with the best jokes. They really made me laugh. ?
Have a lovely time with Gubbins tomorrow.
Hope all the gangsters and the Molls are all ok.

Kaimoana you made me smile.....Beagles are very busy dogs these days and obviously have a great deal of entrepreneurial talent!
www.beaglestreet.com/

BTW - she's opened a company in New Zealand:

www.beaglesbees.nz/

A man spots an advert in his local newspaper: “Talking Dog for Sale”
Intrigued but sceptical, he contacts the seller and arranges to meet.
As a test question, he asks the dog, “What have you done with your life?”
“Well, I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims’ the dog begins, “ then I served in Iraq as bomb disposal but I was wounded so now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The man is amazed and asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth do you want to sell such an incredible animal?”
The owner shrugs, “Because he’s a liar. He’s never done any of those things.”

I dedicate this joke to Honey Beagle who surely has to regularly justify why there's a rump-steak packet in her bedding and half a loaf hidden beneath a cushion, so must have a great imagination.
No doubt she'd sa her ambition is to open a cafe and she's doing some essential taste-testing for quality.

Grammaretto

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi had been discussing St Francis of Assisi and how wonderful he was with animals. It turned into something of a competition whereby they all decide to go out and convert bears (they’d been at the priest’s communion wine)
Later they got together. The priest begins: “I read to the bear from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
The Minister says: “I found a bear by the stream, preached God’s word and the bear was so moved he asked me to baptize him.” (clearly they had talking bears in his neck of the woods)
They both look towards the Rabbi, bandaged and with his arm in a cast.
“On reflection,” he says, “perhaps I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

I should be able to recommend places in Bonnie Scotland Mamissimo though I usually avoid anywhere thought a MUST. I am probably related to Groucho Marx who famously said he didn't want to belong to any club which would have him as a member. paraphrase

We had lived in Scotland for years but it wasn't until I sounded so amazed on viewing a Danish palace that DH (a loyal Scot) suggested I should perhaps see Holyrood Palace - just along the road, that I actually went there.

I went to the V&A in Dundee with the local Gransnetters a couple of years ago. That was fun. Nice restaurant and the museum is in the most amazing spot, which it fails to take full advantage of IMO. DH and I took our DGC to HMS Discovery and to the Jute Museum. The train journey itself is a treat.

I am feeling a lot better now thanks Dragonfly the drugs are kicking in
I hope your mum is recovering.

Thanks for the cwtch and I am sending you a big one too.
Doodle, Cherry and all.

Good morning all.

I love the sweet smile Mamissimo I can just see it - made me chuckle!
We have everything in our Sainsbury order but only ordered common or garden things. Batteries come from the big river company. I could not get any gruyere cheese as it was out of stock - Brexit?
Although having lived it Scotland I cannot recommend places as it is a long time ago. Watching Traces I was impressed with Dundee. We also went to Oban for a wedding a couple of years ago and loved that but it was mainly the whiskey distillery.

The paramedics came out to my mum and she wouldn't let them do any tests but they think it is a UTI so the staff went rushing off at 9pm to get antibiotics. They are wonderful - such a pity I cannot go up there.

Hope your tooth is feeling better Grammaretto and that you are feeling better. The sun is shining here so now going to drag DH out for his trot round the block. I think he would stay in all day if he was alone!!

Good morning!

Dragonfly so sorry to hear about your DM. An extra load for you in these drear days. ?

Kaimoana I would like to come and visit Gubbins too - I haven't squidged a small person for far too long - enjoy!

Grammaretto* what sort of dog does magic? A Labracadabra ?

That is a very poor joke but most of mine are too rude puerile for such a dignified platform. ?

Sainsbury’s is having a laugh today.....I ordered 2 flat coin type batteries for our car key fobs......they are sending 12 AA batteries. I will smile sweetly and send them back! - they should know that if I smile sweetly there is trouble coming their way!

The travel lady has sent her first stab at an itinerary for our proposed Scotland jaunt. I'm going to ask her to put more silversmiths and craft and less whisky in it! I want to leave out Edinburgh and Glasgow but I want to go to The Kitchen for dinner so more thought needed.

We're not fans of rammed tourist sites but love visiting studios and galleries - any suggestions?

I must away to prepare for Mr Sainsbury

Hello Gangsters,

I've been a bit under par what with toothache, isolation and miserable weather.
Gaelic homework on duolingo is amusing me.
How often will I need to say "irn bru and a chicken" in a sentence?

I was very sorry to hear you have had to struggle so much Panache and that the palliative nurse is only part time.
I misunderstood Mamissimo . You have had the vaccine but not MrM.
It does seem a bit random.

I need you to cheer me up. Jokes welcome.
Culzean castle beach looks appealing Kaimoana wouldn't a trip to the seaside be nice....

Hello gangsters.
This is my third attempt to post. I keep getting interrupted.
Kaimoana I bet you can’t wait to see little Gubbins on Saturday. ?.
That Culzean Castle looks a lovely place. I can imagine you wanting to sleep on the beach. You’re very at one with nature. I’d be more concerned about getting sand in my knickers. ?
Mamissimo good you got your jab but a shame they wouldn’t do MrM at the same time. You’d think they would want to do families together. At least you have some protection now.
I misread your post and saw that you had bought two rusty chickens. I was pondering whether you were going to breed from them or cook them for dinner. ?
Bit of a success with your bench. £75 instead of £600 is a good deal.
We have 2 cruises booked this year. Have no idea if we will get to go on them or not. I can well understand why you fancy a change of scene.
Good luck with the jigsaw.
Panache that’s good news about the oncology visit and that you can go with MrP. I don’t believe you are left to make all your own travel arrangements. As for the Palliative care nurse, surely when she is off another should be covering. Could your nurse not give you another contact number for times she is not working? Glad the sleeping is better but now hiccups of all things. Poor MrP must be exhausted (and you too). It’s just one thing after another. I hope the restful nights continue and things improve. Take care x
Dragonfly I’m sorry to hear about your mother. Must be worrying if you cannot visit.
Cherry sorry your neighbour is causing you so much trouble again. It is worrying that she has young daughters. Do you know how old they are? Obviously help is needed but in these times not forthcoming.
I hope you get your kitchen plan sorted. It’s just another aggravation with lockdown and I can understand your frustration. Let’s hope they come up with something better this time.
Can I join Cherry in a cwtch for you too Grammaretto.
(Doodle doesn’t like to be left out ? ) ?
Sleep well all of you.

"Love" the weekend plan Grammaretto, choose any option you like .... but always end up with one choice ?

My gun shield is to stop me shooting my mouth off at my neighbour Doodle, Grammaretto and Kaimoana ?. In reality, unfortunately there's no point in speaking to her about how her behaviour is disturbing us at all ?. The truth of the matter is that she needs more support but isn't getting any. What's worrying now is that her twin girls are copying her behaviour. I wish there was something I could do but as you can imagine it's a very tricky situation. It's a difficult situation all round.

The kitchen plan saga rages on, perhaps this is what I really need my gun shield for! They're coming to the house again, argh. They've been told by the OT to do a new plan and I agree with her. This is it though as far as I'm concerned, if they don't get it right now and get moving I'll wait and start again in a couple of years time ?

Glad you haven't had any side effects from the jab Mamissimo ?
Panache, it sounds like two steps forward and one and a half back. Slight progress though. Some is better than none. Thinking of you ?
I'm thinking of you too Grammaretto and hope that a quick cwtch will help a little ?

Culzean and "my" beach.

Thanks for updating us all Panache - hiccups is no laughing matter and far from the odd spasm normally experienced, so very sad indeed that it's now affecting your DH on top of all his other problems.

Can't quite understand why they put the onus on you to find sudden transport when the MRI was mobile!

Mamissimo I'm amazed you let Attila get away with that, not like you to be so acquiescent.
I'd have thought a swift karate chop (Hee -yah!) and the rubber shoe firmly planted on her neck would have caused her to re-think the decision.
Rusty chicken sculptures?

Where I live, that sort of thing would generate immediate and irate calls to the Council who'd threatening "tidy up or tow away"
Mind you, a stranger walking inoffensively down our private road generates panic and a police presence. They're a queer lot.
Not me of course.

I remember having a blissful holiday in Ayr, at Culzean Castle. There was a private beach with a tiny house with a wind-up gramophone and one LP by Stephan Grapelli.
I played it over and over every day and wandered along the beach picking up dozens of agates; took a huge jar of these home.
I had a wee fire on the sand and cooked potatoes for lunch. Only very reluctantly did I go back up the cliff as I wasn't allowed to sleep on the beach. I could have stayed forever.

Oh dear dragonfly sorry to hear about your poor Mum; as if you didn't have enough to cope with. Hoping for the best and much strength for you xxx

Hallo everyone.

How frustrating Mr M was not given his vaccine. Our GP fitted me in with DH despite being in a different category.

Good to hear that you are keeping on keeping on Panache I send you hugs.

I have just had a call from the care home that my mother is not too good. She is 100 so very vulnerable.

Hello dear friends and please excuse a quick dash in.........and apologies for what I have to say is not as amusing as that of our Mamissimo`s above!!!

Keeping you up to date,my man has now had his MRI scan after a very irate me had to find transport in record quick time, when we were fortunate enough to be suddenly offered a slot yesaterday at noon...........the broken scanner had been replaced by a mobile one.
Today came the news he travels to oncology on the 16th February for initial meetings, lo and behold because of both his poor mobility and is hard of hearing I am included in this trip.

Whilst things have settled down somewhat,certainly generally a better sleep pattern,another problem has caused us both some added stress...........hiccups!
Yes indeed,common old hiccups............he has them virtually constantly,day and night..............so we both are suffering lack of sleep from this problem.
It is due to a new steroid given to boost his system for all this travelling,turning and twisting required for these x rays etc........awaiting further news later from our GP.
Again our Palliative care nurse is missing,sadly she seems only available one week in three,and of course we are always in need those weeks she is away...........on duty in the cancer unit or in College.
Obviously far from ideal.
But of course this is Wales.

Slowly we seem to be getting somewhere,and my dear one has coped well thus far.......... with a lot of resting in between these trips.
Although we know the radiotherapy will come with its own issues,we are ever hopeful it will ease some of the overall pain and
hopefully,perhaps allow us a few better summer months.
Every new day is such a precious gift,and forgive us for asking for yet even more!

You all remain in my thoughts,especially during those long sleepless nights (punctuated by yet another hiccup!!) and I wish you all every blessing as you go about your daily lives.
Take greatest care out there.

Good morning!

Kaimoana the jabbing passed very smoothly thank you and fingers crossed no side effects. Mr M, sadly, was not invited to partake yesterday, even though he is yonks older than me. When I enquired of Attilla the receptionist whether he could be done on the same day as me as we live together and he tends to my needs I was told he would have to wait his turn. As we are in the same risk group I frankly found this daft. Boris has promised him a vaccination by the 15th Feb so at least it won't be very long to wait. He was very ?.

As a treat for him I'm going to project my iPad screen onto the tv this afternoon so that he can join in with doing the Sainsbugs order.

I had a brilliant day on the internet yesterday......I bought 2 rusty metal chicken sculptures for the new garden and finally sorted out a bench for our best view. I wanted something that had an agricultural feel, a bit like a hay trough, and I spotted one in IKEA but it only came in red.

I emailed a picture to the local forge who said they could make me one for £600.....--I had a stiff gin-- I found a powder coating specialist who is going to strip the IKEA one and coat it in Matt black for £75. Happy shopper here ?

Tentatively I have begun looking at holidays for late June in Scotland. We fancy taking Mr M's hormone moment for a road trip to the seafood tour west coast. Somehow I can't see us feeling safe enough to roam abroad this year.

Today I will tax the cars and do three bits finish the jigsaw!

Sorry again: this was directed at Mamissimo
Hope you and your WP didn't have too bad a reaction to the jab