Gransnet forums


What DO you say?

(43 Posts)
GagaJo Sun 10-Jan-21 10:52:09

I have a friend. Otherwise we are of a very like mind politically, socially, educationally. I THOUGHT we were of a like mind re the virus too. She masks, distances etc. There was no sign she was an anti vaxxer.

But today, this...

I hate the term "anti vaxxer" and feel it makes people who want to make an informed decision on what they put in their body look paranoid! I've had the flu and pneumonia jab for the first time last year and my kids had all required vaccines but I will be damned if I will be pressured into something or anything orchestrated by this bunch of bastards in govt who have a track record of lying, thieving and causing thousands of excess deaths until I see how others are affected. Quite all right working from home and staying distanced for now thank you.

What DO I say in response? For the first half an hour or so, I was just shocked. But I am horrified by her.

Galaxy Sun 10-Jan-21 10:58:05

I would say that Johnson has nothing to do with the vaccine, I agree with her about the government, and have ignored Johnsons advice (we bought masks in the first lockdown, our local schools ignored Johnsons advice on when to open and I agreed with them) but the vaccine is seperate from the government in my view.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:01:15

Once you start spreading items that say the Government are lying about almost everything ( see various GN threads) then it’s hardly surprising that some people think that they are lying about the vaccines too.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:01:56

Sorry didn’t mean ‘you’ in the personal sense.

GagaJo Sun 10-Jan-21 11:03:41

I understood Oops, it's OK.

Tweedle24 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:09:11

I don’t think I would bother to respond. This is a case of agreeing to disagree. If she is a valued friend, I would steer away from the subject.

Your friend’s last comment is telling — a case of “I’m alright, Jack.” I am afraid.

vampirequeen Sun 10-Jan-21 11:09:20

I'd say, "Fine. Don't have it. It's your body and it's up to you whether or not you take the risk. I think we should just agree to disagree and not mention it again." I'd think but not say, "People like you leave more vaccine for the rest of us which is fine by me. You're relying on those of us who have the vaccine to reduce your chance of infection. If/when you catch Covid, I hope you don't get it badly but I have no intention of taking that risk.

Jane10 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:09:30

Say nothing. Avoid this person in future.

timetogo2016 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:10:59

I`m not an anti vaxxer but i won`t be having it.
I can`t take any form of medication as i have severe allergic reactions to them.

Oopsadaisy1 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:12:24

At least she says she will wait and see if others are affected and she’s staying indoors.
I feel sorry for those who want it and are unable to have it due to Allergies etc.

Casdon Sun 10-Jan-21 11:17:53

I’d leave her to it, I certainly wouldn’t avoid her as although I completely disagree with her view she is entitled to have a different perspective - and in every other respect you are friends. If we only mixed with people who think like us in every respect life would be very dull.

Rosie51 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:19:07

I would hope you'd respect her decision about what to put in her own body. You can tell her you totally disagree with her view but I'd hope you'd not use emotive terms like "horrified". She is staying home and obeying distancing rules so not behaving recklessly.
I'll take whatever vaccine I'm offered when my turn comes, but I'd honestly prefer the AstraZenica one of those available at the moment. Not because I'm xenophobic or other such rubbish, but because it has been shown to benefit from longer than a 3 week gap between doses. The Pfizer one has not been tested for a 12 week gap, that is our government making it up as they go along. I understand why they want to do it, I'm just not convinced there is a scientific basis for belief that it's OK to do so. I really hope we'll not find that we've wasted those initial doses because the second dose becomes a "first" one after such a gap.

Toadinthehole Sun 10-Jan-21 11:19:11

It is her right to be cautious. I wasn’t sure myself at the beginning. Now I think it’s all being given in the wrong order. She may change her mind when it comes to it. Don’t lose a friendship over it though. Friends don’t necessarily have to agree on absolutely everything. That can be what makes a friendship work so well. We’d have nothing to talk about if we were ‘ clones’?

vampirequeen Sun 10-Jan-21 11:20:50

We need to be vaccinated to protect people like timetogo2016. People who can't have vaccines rely on the rest of us to neutralise the virus by not becoming infected and spreading it. We can do that by being vaccinated.

25Avalon Sun 10-Jan-21 11:25:52

But one can make an informed decision whether to have the vaccine or not. It is not compulsory and if you don’t trust the government there are loads of scientific articles out there to read. If your friend does that and still doesn’t want the vaccine that’s her choice. No need to fall out over it provided she accepts GagaJo that you have the right to think differently.

Rosie51 Sun 10-Jan-21 11:30:05

GagaJo it's just occurred to me that I hope your friend isn't a member of Gransnet, as she'd obviously recognise her own words. I'm sure she'd find your public castigating of her quite distressing and rather unkind.

GagaJo Sun 10-Jan-21 12:17:20

I don't think she is Rosie, but I have told her what I think. And I went into a lot more detail than I have on here.

Davida1968 Sun 10-Jan-21 12:19:57

This is worth persuing:

twinnytwin Sun 10-Jan-21 12:25:12

A friend included me in an email with information against the vaccine. I just sent a simple message back asking her not to include me in any other similar emails. I kept in simple and friendly and she responded with a x. No need to fall out.

Kim19 Sun 10-Jan-21 12:35:01

I get a bit confused when we're so judgemental with friends. Mine would have her say, of course, and then I would tell her, irrespective of all the rhetoric, that I thought she was wrong. In fact I might be so irreverent as to tell her I thought she was blooming nuts but....and it's a big but..... in the end our relationship will not have altered one bit. We live and let live and I'm so glad she's in my life.

sodapop Sun 10-Jan-21 12:35:01

Way to go twinnytwin I think, people are entitled to their views. Given time the lady concerned may change her mind so don't fall out over this.

Smileless2012 Sun 10-Jan-21 13:08:49

She's free to make her own decision just as we all are.

I agree Oopsadaisy constant accusations that our government perpetually lies and cannot be trusted merely fuels a belief that they must be lying about the vaccines too.

Kate54 Sun 10-Jan-21 14:07:12

My response to this kind of dangerous rubbish? Why on earth would the Government lie about vaccines when the economy and NHS are being destroyed by this virus? It’s a battle and they need to win it.

cornishpatsy Sun 10-Jan-21 14:20:59

My mother has refused the vaccine. I have told her that she will not have visitors for many months as nobody wants to be responsible for her catching the virus.

M0nica Sun 10-Jan-21 18:16:48

As in any medical circumstance we all make our own decisions. When DH had all the tests that preceded this bypass op the surgeon explained all about the op and its dangers etc etc, he then said 'if you do not have this operation you are likely to die within the next year.

DH was entirely free to decide to not have the op and accept that his death was imminent, and there may be some who have made this choice. He had the op and is recovering.

My response to this email would be to say that in any medical situation the patient is free to accept or reject the treatment intervention she is offered and any decision about this vaccination is no different.

As to the political nonsense, I would just tell her it is irrelevant and not to mix medicine and politics.