What do you do if your family goes down with COVID

Tonucha - lots of good suggestions here - if your daughter in law has no family here, she may be from another culture, and may very well appreciate a hot meal left on the doorstep. That's the way things are done overseas during times of sickness, recuperation, bereavement. Be prepared to take your grandchild if need be because the safeguarding is the issue. Your son and daughter in law may be sick with covid, they may not but the chances are that you will be more sick if you catch it. It's a lottery - don't let anyone tell you there's any reasoning here because there isn't - my husband and I have both had it at the same time and we reacted very differently. Be good to yourself and try to keep your spirits up.

My daughter and sil had it and they had a 7 & 8 year old. I helped by taking groceries etc but didn't enter the house at all. My daughter is a nurse and she told me on no account should I go in as my husband as copd and I could take it back to him.

Easy - you get them to drive to Barnard Castle to test their eyesight

I've not been having social contact with my DD and DGD since the little one went back to nursery in early January. My DD seemed to think that nursery was pretty safe as the staff were regularly tested but she was still very concerned about the quick spread of this new variant. I should add i live alone and they are my support bubble however my DD wanted to play safe for the time being. Yesterday she text to say the nursery had been closed for the next week as a child who my DGD had not had any close contact with had tested positive for Covid and a lot of the staff have had to self isolate. My first instinct was to say don't worry I'll do the child care next week but then I thought about it for a bit. DGD is probably not infected but we don't know that for absolute sure and if she did have it say without symptoms she could pass it onto to me and if I got it badly my DD would never forgive herself she was already being super careful. So we decided DD would take annual leave next week and if all is well by the end of the week and nursery is still closed it should be safe for me to take over from there. These are difficult times and everything has to be weighed so carefully and its really frustrating that I just can't step in and help like I would have done in normal times so I understand the OP's desire to help but I agree with what most of the answers on here and to hold back unless its absolutely necessary. The last thing the NHS needs now is an extra patient we all have to make sensible and responsible decisions at this time. This disease is like Russian roulette you don't know how its going to affect until you get it. Take care and hope your family are all well again soon ?

Autumnrose

It’s not a question of the OP not knowing the rules but rather the degree to which common humanity should be exercised. In the circumstances described we need to make our own risk based decision about the right thing to do.

I completely agree.
It all depends of degrees of illness, if at the stage when they cannot cope with the one year old and nobody else in the family could step in then I would do it of course.
Shopping can be dropped at their door otherwise if they need it.

I know it's awful, but you can't go near them unless to take care of the baby if they get really sick. I've a sinus infection which I get regularly and when I phoned for antibiotics y'day the doc told me I'd to get a covid test, although I live alone and allow nobody near me, it has to be done, I'm isolating. I'm dizzy with the sinus infection so not allowed to drive so waiting on a home test getting posted out to me. When I spoke to the Covid test girl on the phone so told me I'm not allowed out my front door, poor dog missing her walks. Until I get tested and it's negative I'm in the house and that's it. We can't take chances and I'd never forgive myself if I did have it, although if I have it's been off post or food that's been left at my door for me if I do. Please stay put and I know it's hard and you must be worried sick, but if you get it the stats say you will probably be worse off with the symptoms.

I do so hope that your family will be better soon. I agree with those who recommend cautious and careful help from a distance if they are able to manage. If they cannot then you may want to take the baby and look after her/him. Your decisions here are not easy ones, but they have to be yours.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts.
We are the only people that can help. There is/was no one else.
I suppose the answer depends on how ill they are, and how healthy you are.
Thanks again for all your thoughts.

Hello tonucha firstly what bad luck, I’m sorry you must be very worried. You don’t state your age group but if you’re in the older age category I think you should protect yourself, probably not what your heart tells you deep down. Also you don’t say how far away you live? I think, if this were me I would do all I can from a distance and chances are as they’re all young they will be ok. When they are over the worse then you can step in and help maybe when you’re vaccinated and they are COVID free. Don’t risk overwhelming the NHS by risking contracting it yourself. Very very wishes to you all.

If they are so ill they can’t look after their1 year old then you’ll have to take the child to your home.tell the parents you’ll do that if necessary but they must know you’d be putting yourself at risk.
Support with 1 year olds food delivered to the door.Stand away from the door and see one of them from a distance and you can see how they look and it will help you decide.

We’re in the same situation. My partner’s grown up daughter from a previous relationship lives with her mum - they are both front line care workers and have both contracted Covid. It’s natural to want to help but I agree with previous posters - better not to just jump straight in and risk contracting it and spreading it further. Keep in contact by phone and monitor how well they are doing. You can always offer help if they can’t cope by themselves. I hope they are not too badly affected and wish them a speedy recovery.

I’ve woke up to the same problem this morning. My son, daughter in law and grandson have tested positive, although we are at present living a few hours away and I’m worried sick there’s nothing I can do I’m afraid. We are both shielding so I am in the middle of ordering vitamins etc to be delivered to them, they have a friend up the road from them willing to leave food on their doorstep and anything else they will have to get off the milkman who delivers their milk. In an emergency I would go up to them but if I got it I have health issues and doubt I’d survive so all I can do is watch, phone and wait. My brother was admitted 3 nights ago in USA who I have been extremely worried about as well as he has severe health problems including aneurisms but although I feel helpless there’s nothing I can do apart from support him and his family on the phone. It’s fear of the unknown I’m finding hardest, Will they survive etc but we will have to take it day by day. I hope you’re family get well soon.

Sorry - this may be stating the obvious but meant to say practical ways of helping are food/essential item deliveries left on the doorstep and running any necessary errands. Doesn’t entail contact and I’m sure would be appreciated.

@Bluedaisy. It must be very difficult for you being so far away from your family at a time like this. Sending good wishes to them and to you, and keeping fingers crossed that all will be well. Stay safe.xxxx

Well I think some of your are being a bit harsh with Phloembundle, I agree with her but I think I would have been a bit kinder with my words.

My daughter and her partner were tested positive 3 days before she gave birth to her first child.....by Caesarian! Hardest thing ever but I had to leave food and organise food deliveries for them they were too concerned for me to go in to the house at all.
Thank goodness, they are all ok now and I am part of their support bubble. Such a horrible time for everyone!

Phloembundle, I disagree, common humanity can, & does, save lives.

If possible, stay away. If they are so ill that they just can't manage, think again. Maybe you could take the baby if they would allow that.

Do be careful. A dear friend of mine is very ill with Covid. She had been caring for her father who had been in hospital following a stroke. When he came home she moved in to look after him. He became very poorly with Covid, (caught while in hospital). He has since died. She has passed it on to her husband and son. ?

A little common humanity for the doctors, nurses and support staff in the NHS wouldn’t go amiss.

Chris Whitty just said the NHS is “at the top of what it can cope with”.
Nobody should be doing anything that would add even one more person to the numbers.

Dare I say that if they are well enough to be at home and not in hospital, they are well enough to cope together with a 1 year old.

Offer cooked meals they can reheat easily, if they want them and leave on the doorstep. Do shopping. If you do take washing home, wear protective gloves, mask and apron, keep it all wrapped in a sheet or towel and don't shake it, just shove it straight in your washing machine. Its nearly impossible not to want to help your family in these circumstances, but for yourself, your family and of course the NHS don't put yourself at risk. They will possibly need your help in 10 days or so time.