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Do you have friends who have declined to be vaccinated.........h ow do you deal with this (stay polite!)

(263 Posts)
Luckygirl Wed 09-Jun-21 08:30:56

I have at least 2 and I struggle to find something to say to them when they bring it up. Neither are conspiracy theorists; neither have medical conditions that might influence their decision. Both are pleasant people.

I have to confess that it gets under my skin a bit. The more people who get vaccinated, the slower the spread and the nearer we get to managing this pandemic. We do not get vaccinated just for ourselves, but also for everyone else. These people are piggybacking on our taking the vanishingly small risk of being vaccinated.

Can they not see what is happening to the poor souls in India?

Does anyone else have such friends? Do you challenge their decision?

CafeAuLait Wed 09-Jun-21 08:32:37

I accept that they have the right to make their own choice on the matter, just as I have the right to make my choice on the matter. Then talk about something else.

Luckygirl Wed 09-Jun-21 08:35:55

I do accept their right to make this decision, but it does annoy me - I have to take a deep breath and change the subject.

Biscuitmuncher Wed 09-Jun-21 08:49:24

I'm not having the vaccine. In fact having it terrifies me. I've had a lot of friends who have felt very unwell after it

anna7 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:00:58

I accept everyone has the right to make their own decision but it annoys me too. I feel it is a very selfish decision not to have the vaccine and I don't really understand why anyone wouldn't have it. I have friends who have had covid and have been extremely ill.

Luckygirl Wed 09-Jun-21 09:05:23

anna7 - I am glad I am not alone!

Lin52 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:10:17


I'm not having the vaccine. In fact having it terrifies me. I've had a lot of friends who have felt very unwell after it

Quite normal to feel unwell after any vaccination, should have seen me after my small pox inoculation. Usually unwell after my annual flu vaccination., for a few hours, other times not. It is your immune system doing its job. My nephew was off his feet for a few days, but says it is worth it for the protection. Always risk with life. More of risk being seriously ill and dying without the vaccine, especially in an older age group. Had both mine, few hours of being slightly out of sorts, but grateful to have been able to get them.

mumofmadboys Wed 09-Jun-21 09:10:24

Biscuit - the vast majority of people who have the vaccine have minimal side effects. Either your friends are particularly sensitive to side effects or tend to make mountains out of molehills. The enormous death rate speaks for itself. Please carefully consider your position.

threexnanny Wed 09-Jun-21 09:15:20

Yes and she is a conspiracy theorist! We have only spoken on the phone and exchanged e mails and I'm not sure when we will meet up again. What makes her attitude harder to understand is knowing that several of her friends and relatives have been very ill with the virus.

Polarbear2 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:16:04

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had it or doesn’t want it. I’d be annoyed too. I think I’d have to avoid them or I’d risk saying something. Sod ‘respect for their choice’. This is not about individual choice it’s about the health of the world.

Kali2 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:19:41


I'm not having the vaccine. In fact having it terrifies me. I've had a lot of friends who have felt very unwell after it

For how long? Did they end up in hospital on a ventilator, did they die?

Galaxy Wed 09-Jun-21 09:20:20

I to be honest might struggle more being around people who arent able to understand that people hold different views to outer own.

Galaxy Wed 09-Jun-21 09:20:35

Our own even.

CafeAuLait Wed 09-Jun-21 09:22:09

"it’s about the health of the world"

The world isn't going to do anything for me if I have a serious adverse reaction to the vaccine and can't work or live a normal life. I know that's rare but it does happen. The individual is important too. They are the one that has to live with the consequences of 'doing the right thing' if they are one of the rare unlucky ones. So I very much support people making their own decision about what they want to put in their body.

Smileless2012 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:22:10

One friend and her husband wont be vaccinated. I don't understand their 'reasoning' but it's their choice.

I was very concerned when she was persuading her elderly parents not to have theirs and was relieved when I learned that they'd gone ahead and have been vaccinated now.

Grannybags Wed 09-Jun-21 09:22:35

I have this problem with my son who is in his 40s He is worried about blood clots. I am so surprised by his attitude as his children have had MMR etc. without him voicing any worries.

He is off work at the moment with MH issues so I am giving him a bit of slack. I'll keep nagging though!

I always try and explain the reasons I think everyone should have the vaccine to anyone who says they are not having it.

Kali2 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:23:19

It is a difficult one. The right to make your own decision, yes, I respect that. That immunity for our society at large depends on a significant proportion being vaccinated. If sais proportion is too low, herd immunity will not work.

I certainly do feel that those wor work in care homes, or care in the Community, and health workers in close contact with patients, and especially vulnerable patients, should have to be vaccinated. If one of my loved ones was infected by a care or health worker, I would not be 'annoyed' but more than furious and would sue.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:24:50

They have that right, but should then accept those of us who are vaccinated have the right not to see them. Vaccinated people are still catching covid and dying.

Chewbacca Wed 09-Jun-21 09:24:53

I've not come across anyone who has been a refusenik; maybe they're just keeping schtum. But if someone did tell me that they'd refused it, I'd just think "what a twit" and carry on. I cannot control what others do.

Framilode Wed 09-Jun-21 09:25:41

I have a facebook friend who believes in natural remedies for everything. She thinks that if you eat well and take supplements your immune system will do the rest. She is also a conspiracy theorist. She has posted a lot of fake news on facebook.
I ignore it all but others, including her family, come on to tell her it is fake. Inside however, I am boiling. She is relying on the vast majority of the rest of us having the vaccine to protect her.

CafeAuLait Wed 09-Jun-21 09:25:45

Kali2, maybe those health workers who go into homes should have to disclose their vaccination status ahead of the first visit so that the client can make the choice whether they are comfortable with that or not?

rosie1959 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:30:32

I know one person who I have contact with quite regularly but it’s their choice I have now had both doses and expect it to do it’s job
The new delta variant seems to love the unvaccinated so it’s a risk they will have to take

Cs783 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:30:53

From what I’ve learned listening to advice on this, best not to challenge but to ask questions and see what the basis is for their concerns. Questioning and letting someone work through their own reasoning can be more enlightening for both parties. Cool it, be a good listener?

I’m speaking from the happy place of not having any vaccine-anxious among my family and friends.

Marydoll Wed 09-Jun-21 09:33:12

I was very unwell for three weeks after my first vaccine and two weeks after the second one. However, I would rather experience that, than die. If I didn't have them, I would have to spend the rest of my life shielding and I certainly don't want that, I want some quality of life.

Every single one of my friends have had both and my children are about to have their second. My children were able to have them early to protect me.

I often wonder if those who refuse the vaccine, will refuse treatment if they catch Covid. We have to respect their views, but totally selfish , in my opinion.

Knowing you had unwittingly infected a vulnerable person person, would be a terrible thing to have on your conscience.

The science proves the more people who have the vaccine, the weaker the virus becomes.
Of course there are people who are unable to have the vaccine for medical reasons. I had convince my GP to give me the second one, but I insisted and after weighing up things and speaking with my consultant, he agreed. Thank goodness!

anna7 Wed 09-Jun-21 09:33:12

Slightly off topic but I am due to have a small operation next week and I very much hope those treating me will have been vaccinated. I am thinking I may ask before I go in. I have had both vaccinations and been self isolating in preparation so I would be very concerned if I am treated by an unvaccinated person, grateful as I am to be having the procedure.